Showing:

Funny satire stories about Cockneys

Try another search?

Funny story: Fear as Cockney Pandemic Sweeps UK

Fear as Cockney Pandemic Sweeps UK

Large areas of East London remained cordoned-off today by the army and police. Elsewhere in the country, people from East London are being asked to make their way, silently, to rapidly constructed isolation centres. Medical experts and linguists...

Read full story
Funny story: Ferrets, Whippets, And Flat Caps To Blame For North-South Divide

Ferrets, Whippets, And Flat Caps To Blame For North-South Divide

The north/south divide: is it a myth, or is there something deeeper going on here that lesser mortals can't quite grasp? Analysts are pretty certain that a rift was formed under the governance of Mrs Thatcher, as she effectively shut down the nort...

Read full story
Funny story: Blindin' mate! We're all gonna be Cock-en-ees afore we knows it!

Blindin' mate! We're all gonna be Cock-en-ees afore we knows it!

Cor strewth, what a right two and eight squire. That's the way future generations of Britons will be talking if the Government gets its way. For The Spoof.Com can exclusively reveal that from September schools throughout the land are going to repl...

Read full story
Funny story: Cockney Rhyming Slang Mourns Loss Of Singer Eartha Kitt

Cockney Rhyming Slang Mourns Loss Of Singer Eartha Kitt

Exponents of Cockney Rhyming Slang, the noble art practised by those born within the sound of Bow Bells at St Mary-le-Bow in London, were in mourning today, after it was announced that Eartha Kitt, the object of one of the language's most-used expres...

Read full story
Funny story: Whatever Happened To The Cockneys?

Whatever Happened To The Cockneys?

From: Minister For Culture, UK, Tajib Nwora Where have all the cockneys gone? Why is it that when I walk the streets of my beloved London the only English accents that I ever hear are so unEnglish that it makes my toes curl? We English are not American, we are not Jamaican, we are cockneys. We should all be talking like Dick van Dyke in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or Barbara Windsor in Ea...

Read full story
Funny story: Boris & Ken Demand Recount After Brian Is Crowned Pearly Queen of London

Boris & Ken Demand Recount After Brian Is Crowned Pearly Queen of London

The London Mayoral result was sensationally overturned in the early hours of this morning when lawyers acting for Lib Dem candidate Brian Paddick invoked an arcane London bye-law forbidding heterosexual men with the initials 'K' or 'B'...

Read full story
Funny story: Elvis in Bermondsey

Elvis in Bermondsey

News this week that Elvis Presley actually visited England in 1958 and was shown around London by cheeky rock n roller Tommy Steele came as no surprise to seventy year old cabbie Dave Smalls who spoke to The Spoof's reporter Conor McMuffin.

Read full story
Funny story: Leona Lewis to launch album celebrating London origins

Leona Lewis to launch album celebrating London origins

Leona Lewis, the first UK woman in 21 years to top the US Billboard Hot 100, has announced an exciting new concept album to celebrate her success.

Read full story
Funny story: James Blunt issues rhyming slang writ

James Blunt issues rhyming slang writ

James Blunt has hit back at his many critics by applying to the courts to make it illegal to use his name in rhyming slang.

Read full story
Funny story: Amazonian Tribe fluent in Cockney Rhyming Slang

Amazonian Tribe fluent in Cockney Rhyming Slang

Scientists and Anhropologists the world over were last night stuned to hear of a previously unheard of Amazonian tribe who were fluent in Cockeny Rhyming Slang, the sublanguage prevalent in London's "east end".

Read full story
Funny story: Police Find Bag In Thames Valley Town

Police Find Bag In Thames Valley Town

Police in Reading Berkshire have found a bag in a trendy shopping centre and have announced that they are completely baffled by the find.

Read full story
Funny story: Elton Steps In To Resolve Pearly Kings And Queens Dispute

Elton Steps In To Resolve Pearly Kings And Queens Dispute

The Spoof can report that the striking Pearly Kings and Queens of London are set to return to work after taking their case to arbitration.

Read full story
Funny story: Cor Blimey! Is Van Dyke's The Worst Cockney Accent Of All Time?

Cor Blimey! Is Van Dyke's The Worst Cockney Accent Of All Time?

In a surprise move veteran American actor Dick Van Dyke is being drafted in as voice coach for the West End Version of BBC's 'Eastenders the Musical'.

Read full story
Funny story: Ken Livingstone worried over strikes

Ken Livingstone worried over strikes

King of London, Ken Livingstone, is 'in a right two and eight guvnor', as news breaks tonight about wild-cat strikes among chapters of London's Pearly Kings and Queens.

Read full story
Funny story: Smart Arse Northerner cracks Cockney Rhyming

Smart Arse Northerner cracks Cockney Rhyming

Alan Arkwright, a cheeky Northern smart arse, threw the East End of London into disarray, when he claimed to have cracked Cockney rhyming slang! "Cor blimey guv!" was the shocked response of Arthur Fowler, a very old Cockney person. "Even blee...

Read full story

Breaking news…
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more