'Ello me old Mile Ends. Me Plates are sure giving me some Michael Caine. See I've just been t'see the Overcoat Maker coz me old mate went Radio Rental this morning and topped 'iself. Me old Trouble and Strife won't go to the funeral coz she's convinced he was a Dicky Dirt lifter. 'E did 'ave a Trouble and Strife and she 'as a decent pair of Bristols. She is a Widow Twankey but yer can't '...
The Mayor of London's Transport Secretary, Kulveer Ranger, announced today plans to phase out the world famous Cockney Black Cab, citing the popular mode of transport, 'expensive and unintelligible' for a modern London. At a news conference, Mr.
In a shock announcement today the Financial Services Authority have advised the Monthly Cycle that they intend to regulate certain Cockney Rhyming Slang. The move comes on the back of the announcement by Satan's Bankers Barclays that their Fascist...
Large areas of East London remained cordoned-off today by the army and police. Elsewhere in the country, people from East London are being asked to make their way, silently, to rapidly constructed isolation centres. Medical experts and linguists...
The north/south divide: is it a myth, or is there something deeeper going on here that lesser mortals can't quite grasp? Analysts are pretty certain that a rift was formed under the governance of Mrs Thatcher, as she effectively shut down the nort...
Cor strewth, what a right two and eight squire. That's the way future generations of Britons will be talking if the Government gets its way. For The Spoof.Com can exclusively reveal that from September schools throughout the land are going to repl...
Exponents of Cockney Rhyming Slang, the noble art practised by those born within the sound of Bow Bells at St Mary-le-Bow in London, were in mourning today, after it was announced that Eartha Kitt, the object of one of the language's most-used expres...
From: Minister For Culture, UK, Tajib Nwora Where have all the cockneys gone? Why is it that when I walk the streets of my beloved London the only English accents that I ever hear are so unEnglish that it makes my toes curl? We English are not American, we are not Jamaican, we are cockneys. We should all be talking like Dick van Dyke in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or Barbara Windsor in Ea...
The London Mayoral result was sensationally overturned in the early hours of this morning when lawyers acting for Lib Dem candidate Brian Paddick invoked an arcane London bye-law forbidding heterosexual men with the initials 'K' or 'B'...
News this week that Elvis Presley actually visited England in 1958 and was shown around London by cheeky rock n roller Tommy Steele came as no surprise to seventy year old cabbie Dave Smalls who spoke to The Spoof's reporter Conor McMuffin.
Leona Lewis, the first UK woman in 21 years to top the US Billboard Hot 100, has announced an exciting new concept album to celebrate her success.
James Blunt has hit back at his many critics by applying to the courts to make it illegal to use his name in rhyming slang.
Scientists and Anhropologists the world over were last night stuned to hear of a previously unheard of Amazonian tribe who were fluent in Cockeny Rhyming Slang, the sublanguage prevalent in London's "east end".
Police in Reading Berkshire have found a bag in a trendy shopping centre and have announced that they are completely baffled by the find.
The Spoof can report that the striking Pearly Kings and Queens of London are set to return to work after taking their case to arbitration.
In a surprise move veteran American actor Dick Van Dyke is being drafted in as voice coach for the West End Version of BBC's 'Eastenders the Musical'.
King of London, Ken Livingstone, is 'in a right two and eight guvnor', as news breaks tonight about wild-cat strikes among chapters of London's Pearly Kings and Queens.
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