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Funny satire stories about Cocaine

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Funny story: Steve Gold: The Death Of A Footballing Legend

Steve Gold: The Death Of A Footballing Legend

Controversial former Leicester City and England footballer Steve Gold has died aged 50. The legendary striker was found unconscious in his squalid Leicester flat by police after a local off-license owner became concerned for his safety. Police confirmed the news earlier today. Laura Pintage, proprietor of the 'Booze Till You Snooze' off-license told us, "Steve was a regular in the shop. S...

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Funny story: Bobby Brown to arrange catering at Whitney's funeral!

Bobby Brown to arrange catering at Whitney's funeral!

The list of celebs and VIP's has been drawn up for Whitney's funeral and it's a who's who of the pop, soul, blues world. Kevin Costner is to recite a eulogy stating how much fun it was being her bodyguard and having his ears bashed during breaks.

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Funny story: President Obama Blames Tea Party For Recession: Calls Them "Tin Horn Tokers" For Not Buying Drugs

President Obama Blames Tea Party For Recession: Calls Them "Tin Horn Tokers" For Not Buying Drugs

WASHINGTON - Just prior to boarding Air Force One this morning to join Michelle and the girls in Hawaii, President Obama poured it on conservative Tea Party activists by calling them "Tin Horn Tokers" for not buying enough marijuana and cocaine to ke...

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Funny story: Frankie Cocozza's drug stash seized: It's just sherbet

Frankie Cocozza's drug stash seized: It's just sherbet

X-Factor producers have re-instated disgraced contestant Frankie Cocozza after a police report concluded that the 400g of white powder found in his possession was in fact sherbet. The beehive-sporting party animal apparently had no idea that he h...

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Funny story: Media Attack BBC's Refusal to Provide Cocaine for 5 Live Staff Party - Radio 1 Rally to Help

Media Attack BBC's Refusal to Provide Cocaine for 5 Live Staff Party - Radio 1 Rally to Help

Party pooper, state funded TV company the BBC, has refused to provide any drugs for a big send off party they are organising for their live news and sports station, Radio 5 Live. Thousands of staff at the radio station are being deported, along with...

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Funny story: Honduras Has Captured A Cocaine-Laded Submarine That Reportedly Was Headed For Malibu Beach

Honduras Has Captured A Cocaine-Laded Submarine That Reportedly Was Headed For Malibu Beach

TEGUCIGALPA, Honduras - The Honduran Navy has reportedly captured a 90-foot submarine, off the coast of neighboring El Salvador, that allegedly was destined for Malibu Beach, California. The submarine which had personalized Arizona license plates...

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Funny story: Buju Banton jailed for 10 years

Buju Banton jailed for 10 years

Grammy-award-winning star Buju Banton has been sentenced to 10 years in jail in the US for his role in setting up a cocaine deal in 2009. The singer, whose real name is Mark Myrie, was told at Tampa federal court that he must serve five years' pro...

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Funny story: Cocaine Abuse Commonplace In The Premiership

Cocaine Abuse Commonplace In The Premiership

A leading drug baron who doesn't wish to be named has made the astonishing allegation that cocaine abuse is an everyday occurrence among the highly paid stars of football's Premier League. "There's loads of 'em at it," the criminal alleged. "There...

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Funny story: Canada 'tossed me under bus': Harper

Canada 'tossed me under bus': Harper

Prime Minister of Canada Steven Harper lashed out at Canada Friday over his treatment when he was kicked out of the Conservative caucus over sensational allegations. Harper took aim at country after a Friday news conference in Collingwood, Ont., s...

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Funny story: D.A. In Paris Hilton Cocaine Possession Case Busted for (Wait For It...) Cocaine Possession.

D.A. In Paris Hilton Cocaine Possession Case Busted for (Wait For It...) Cocaine Possession.

The Los Angeles County D.A. who prosecuted the cocaine possession cases of Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars with all the fervor that Charlie Sheen chases whiskey-flavored hooker vaginas has been busted... for cocaine possession. David Schubert was pull...

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Funny story: Newest Celebrity Diet Craze Turns Out to Be Cocaine

Newest Celebrity Diet Craze Turns Out to Be Cocaine

Beverley Hills, CA - In response to a flurry of high profile celebrity endorsements, the hottest new celebrity diet seems to be rapidly spreading around the country as more and more Americans search for a weight loss plan that doesn't include exercis...

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Funny story: Stephen Fry admits to taking cocaine - brings Spoof writers out of closet

Stephen Fry admits to taking cocaine - brings Spoof writers out of closet

Stepehen Fry recently admitted to taking cocain in order to calm him down and do difficult crosswords. A detailed interview will be coming out later this year. This news came as no surprise to a number of Spoof Writers who took this opportunity to admit to some of their 'addictions'. Addictions -or rather strange rituals which they purport, actually DO help them with their 'art' - writing art...

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Funny story: New Chinese coke run to rival outdated Panama Canal

New Chinese coke run to rival outdated Panama Canal

Bogota - (High Times): A Chinese-Colombian joint venture will link the Atlantic and Pacific coasts in South America, bypassing the tedium of the Panama Canal's heavily patrolled waters. These are in the iron grip of the US Navy and DEA and account...

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Funny story: Oxygen more harmful than crack, says former drugs adviser

Oxygen more harmful than crack, says former drugs adviser

Oxygen is more harmful than crack cocaine when used from an early age, according to a study in the Glancet. The report was authored by Professor Arthur Tuttykins, a former drugs adviser to the government who was sacked in 2007 for reporting findin...

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Funny story: Florida Man Arrested for Butt Crack Cocaine

Florida Man Arrested for Butt Crack Cocaine

A Southwest Florida man was arrested in the wee hours of Sunday morning in what police say has to be one of the most literal cases of crack cocaine possession to go down in Florida law enforcement history. Donald "Dookey" Hutchins was caught spee...

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Funny story: Dipsh-t Paris Hilton Tweets Damning Evidence In Coke-Possession Case

Dipsh-t Paris Hilton Tweets Damning Evidence In Coke-Possession Case

Paris Hilton may be the stupidest person on Earth. But it is her vanity, in addition to her flaming, Megan-Fox-level stupidity that'll allow the Nevada District Attorney to convict her of Cocaine possession. You may recall that Hilton was arrested...

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Funny story: Paris Hilton asks Lindsay Lohan for Tips on "Slammer Time"

Paris Hilton asks Lindsay Lohan for Tips on "Slammer Time"

In anticipation for an upcoming conviction on possession of Cocaine, Paris Hilton has reportedly asked Lindsay Lohan for tips on how to properly prepare herself for time in the slammer. Though details of the actual conversation were sketchy, Ainsl...

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