There was widespread panic at Alton Towers yesterday as thousands of clowns armed with outsized shoes and plastic buttonholes that squirt water out chained themselves to railings at the Staffordshire theme park. The clowns are upset about a new Ha...
The real ones are pretty f-cking creepy as well. About 100 professional clowns marched with big, floppy shoes through the Salvadoran capital Thursday to protest the killing of a passenger by two imposter clowns. The real clowns, who panhandle on...
Larry King host of "Larry King Live" was the victim of a home invasion from a pair of unemployed Ringing Brothers circus clowns last night. Oddly enough the clowns did not take any money or jewelry just Mr. Kings incredibly fruity collection of s...
Phoenix AZ - The coach of the snakebacks here has agreed to fit the team with clown suits for the likely event of them coming in last place. The comish has declared that last place teams in each division must wear clown suits for the entire followin...
Paula Abdul, former American Idol judge found a new job. In an exclusive interview with me, she said that she loved making people laugh so she is going to clown college. She told me: "I am officialy registerd in Martin Luther Clown Uneversity".
The curious death of a professional party clown on Sunday has gained the attention of Londoners, with some wondering if MI6 and the United States Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) were somehow involved. "Turbee" the Clown died of an apparent case...
A professional party clown died in London yesterday while performing a duet with an experienced midget, police said today. "Turbee" the Clown was performing the third act of Madam Suzette's "Reggie the Whimsical" when he suddenly collapsed from an...
SARASOTA, Florida - The poor state of the U.S. economy has now affected the circus world. The world's largest circus, Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus has had to lay off eight of their clowns. The director of circus operations Bolivar...
American President Barack Obama was today removed from the White House and relegated to the Special Presidents team. After seeming able and capable in two years' campaigning to get elected, it now turns out that the African can't even appear on a dre...
Red Nose Day is upon us once more here in the UK, and up and down the country people have been getting up to all sorts of whacky activities with the aim of raising money for the Comic Relief charity. In London's King's Cross area, prostitutes tha...
A damning, cross party, political report dismisses clown school as a waste of taxpayer's money. Experts have collectively accused Clown school of 'dumbing down' and wasting time on literacy, numeracy, science, languages, and humanities when students...
The BBC, often regarded as one of the most forward thinking broadcasters in the world is taken a massive leap backwards by re-introducing the test card. The Test Card, familiar to British Children of the sixties and seventies, was the image burned...
Washington DC-- Homeland Insecurity is growing anxious about the possibility of a major clown invasion during January's presidential inauguration. There is speculation up to one-million clowns will invade the capital and cause some type of mischief...
Orlando, Florida- In response to the Homeland Security Advisory status set by Secretary Michael Chernoff, Circus clowns at the Barnum and Baily/Ringling Brothers Circus were told to upgrade their pie defenses to a much higher level. Other clown...
Scientists at the John Denver University, West Virginia claim that comics, idiots and half-wits, live on average fifty years longer than the 'serious tossers' of the world. "Paul Newman is dead" Professor Pitkin said " the recent death of Paul...
Philadelphia PA-- The sudden death of Bozo The Clown triggered a world wide panic and collapse today. The president immediately issued a red alert and went to Defcon 4. Stock markets around the world crashed over 50%. The price of oil went to $250.00...
George Walker Bush has been considering his post-Presidential options as his lame duck presidency grows lamer and lamer and he ducks responsibility more and more.
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