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Funny satire stories about Clint Eastwood

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Funny story: Justin Bieber Regrets Having Sold His Wyoming Ranch

Justin Bieber Regrets Having Sold His Wyoming Ranch

LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber says that he is going to try and straighten out his life before he ends up like Lindsay Lohan or even worse like Amanda Bynes. The Canadian singer met with Hollywood Vis-à-Vis reporter Hacienda Dakota at a Hank's Hippit...

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Funny story: Paul McCartney, Clint Eastwood, and Selena Gomez To Appear On The Viagra View

Paul McCartney, Clint Eastwood, and Selena Gomez To Appear On The Viagra View

NEW YORK CITY - The hosts of the new talk show The Viagra View, Regis Philbin and Larry King have announced that they have booked former Beatles Paul McCartney, Hollywood movie icon Clint Eastwood, and former Disney starlet Selena Gomez. Philbin,...

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood To Star In A Gun Control Commercial

Clint Eastwood To Star In A Gun Control Commercial

HOLLYWOOD - In a surprise move that even surprised his own wife, noted Tinsel Town tough guy, Clint Eastwood has agreed to star in a commercial for gun control. Eastwood was approached by a national group who asked him if he would agree to make th...

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood To Appear On Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

Clint Eastwood To Appear On Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

CARMEL, California - Ever since his appearance at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida, back in August, Clint Eastwood has been keeping pretty much of a low profile. The legendary star of TVs western series Rawhide, the Italian mot...

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Funny story: Bad News For The Tea Bag Party

Bad News For The Tea Bag Party

FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - A spokesperson for The Tea Bag Party who spoke on grounds of anonymity stated that their is some big time trouble brewing within the Tea Bag Party (no pun intended). The unnamed source informed GOPicky Magazine that since the...

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Funny story: Biden's Smile: Proctologist Ruined Perfect Asshole When He Put Teeth In Biden's Mouth

Biden's Smile: Proctologist Ruined Perfect Asshole When He Put Teeth In Biden's Mouth

BILLINGSGATE POST - Dr. Alfred Cummings, proctologist to the stars, has performed many miracles operating on Hollywood assholes. Just to name a few; he claims to have rebored the bungholes of such Hollywood notables as Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwoo...

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Funny story: Trouble with Dirty Harry's Curve

Trouble with Dirty Harry's Curve

If you want an antidote to John Henry's Red Sox sabermetrics, you need to see Clint Eastwood blow them away. Well, not exactly. That would have been the best ending to the recent Eastwood movie, having Clint come into the computer center of MLB wi...

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood To Direct Honey Boo Boo In "A Fistful of Tiaras"

Clint Eastwood To Direct Honey Boo Boo In "A Fistful of Tiaras"

HOLLYWOOD - Pipe Dream Films in association with La Hacienda Pictures has just informed the entertainment media that Clint Eastwood has just been signed to direct a motion picture starring seven-year-old Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson. The movie i...

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood To Guest Star On The Vampire Diaries

Clint Eastwood To Guest Star On The Vampire Diaries

HOLLYWOOD - Manolo Middlezuck, producer of The Vampire Diaries, has just announced that he has signed legendary movie and television icon Clint Eastwood to appear in an upcoming episode of his hit television cable show. Middlezuck says that when h...

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood Has Been Barred From The Democratic National Convention

Clint Eastwood Has Been Barred From The Democratic National Convention

CARMEL, California - Reports out of the Left Coast are that Clint Eastwood had asked that he be allowed to appear at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina. According to Mistletoe Bulova with The Political Drive Thru Windo...

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Funny story: American voters call on Clint Eastwood to make Mitt Romney invisible

American voters call on Clint Eastwood to make Mitt Romney invisible

American voters who are already totally bored with the Presidential campaign have called on 82 year old kookball actor Clint Eastwood to 'make Romney disappear' after his bizarre 'conversation' with an empty chair that he thought was President Obama...

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Funny story: Paul Ryan Says He Can See Russia From His Home In Wisconsin

Paul Ryan Says He Can See Russia From His Home In Wisconsin

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana - GOP vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan was campaigning in Indianapolis, the town that was named after the Cleveland Indians. He told a crowd that had gathered in the parking lot of a Fishy Smell Seafood Grill that he and...

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood and The Empty Chair To Go On Tour

Clint Eastwood and The Empty Chair To Go On Tour

CARMEL, California - A representative with Falling Stars Production Company has stated that after watching Clint Eastwood's empty chair skit at The Republican National Convention the 82-year-old legendary icon has been signed to a contract. Myrtie...

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Funny story: Make Mayan Day: Vote For Barack Obama And Joe Biden

Make Mayan Day: Vote For Barack Obama And Joe Biden

BILLINGSGATE POST - When Clint Eastwood sneeringly asked the empty chair, the stark personification of President Barack Obama, "To make Mayan day," Eastwood of course, was referring to December 21, 2012, the day which doomsdayers fear the Obamalypse...

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood Stole The Chair Idea From George Strait

Clint Eastwood Stole The Chair Idea From George Strait

SAN ANTONIO - Famed country singer George Strait has just issued a statement regarding Clint Eastwood's Republican National Convention speech in which he talked to an empty chair. Strait, who has had 59 number one hits, told Buck Yazoo with Yippee...

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Funny story: Eastwood PR Requests Patience in Responding to Requests for Invisibility

Eastwood PR Requests Patience in Responding to Requests for Invisibility

Harry Cloake, an enigmatic spokesperson for Clint Eastwood's public relations office in Sacramento, notes that since the RNC, incoming requests for invisibility have been increasing geometrically. Mr. Eastwood's heretofore unknown transformational su...

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Funny story: Why That Wasn't A Clint Eastwood Train Wreak

Why That Wasn't A Clint Eastwood Train Wreak

Word is leaking out, in a trickle down sort of way, that it wasn't an intentional train wreak performance by actor Clint Eastwood at the Republican convention, but a secret, undercover Democratic plot, intentionally executed by a closet Democrat, and successfully carried out to sabotage the Romney candidacy. No way! Did anyone notice: Nobody is talking about Romney's speech? But everyone is...

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