Dan Riley, 31, of Madison, WI announced in a press conference today that he no longer intends to quit smoking, and that everyone can just kiss his ass. Lighting a cigarette, Riley explained his decision, "I really wanted to quit, too; not anymore. Oh...
A study, conducted by XNM LABS, has linked smoking cigarettes with the subconscious obsession of hiding one's lighter. Scientists of XNM LABS studied 250 smokers, splitting them in to two groups, to perform the highly controversial double-blind t...
Top Ten Cigarettes than never caught on, no matter how many commercials you ran on television and radio, billboards placed along the highways! 10. Lungbusters 9. Saferettes (We put your health first with our filter at each end.) 8. Fifty Butts (Save a buck, order Fifty Butts) 7. S & M's 6. Lucky Dope 5. Tobacco Farmers Genuine Organic Locally Grown Tobacco 4. Cedar...
Valvoline, MI - Various public health advertisement campaigns in recent years have depicted graphic ads showing real smokers and the physical pains that they suffer including tracheotomy valves and the like. Studies show that the advertisements have...
NEWPORT BEACH, California - It appears that Justin Bieber's talk about mending his ways and leaving behind the world of fast cars, pot parties, and tattoo parlors is nothing but pure D bunk as they say in Amarillo, Texas. Tapioca Swizzle with Titt...
MINNETONKA, MN - UnitedHealth Group, Inc. President and CEO, Stephen J. Hemsley announced today that UnitedHealth Group will purchase Philip Morris USA Inc., an Altria company for $674,986,685,999,324.67. "UnitedHealth Group is the largest healthc...
NEW YORK CITY - Simon Cowell was in the Big Apple checking up on a business deal regarding a new reality show. The man behind the success of American Idol and X-Factor talked with Savannah Kettle, a reporter with Glamboyant Magazine. The 53-yea...
SUMATRA, Indonesia - Indonesian-born Ardi Rizal first made world news when he was videotaped smoking a cigarette at the amazing age of two-years-old. The Internet video went viral and has thus far gotten over 13 million views. Ardi, or Baby Chu...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released this week a study which son-in-laws everywhere will have a hard time swallowing. Women who quit smoking by the age of 50 dramatically cut risk of an early death, enjoying up to ten to fifteen more year...
Veteran English teacher Dave Stubb has amazed colleagues at a language school in Bangkok by claiming that he smokes 100 cigarettes before lunch - without any adverse effects on his health. Dave, 70, but not looking a day over 69, has been smoking...
News filtered in last night that The Devil is set to be investigated by a team of professionals from Trading Standards after accusations that he has been offering poor deals to people wishing to sell their souls. In the past The Devil has been kno...
Sandringham - The Palace has denied it's roll-ups that she's smoking as a new consignment of duty free Superkings arrived at the Norfolk mansion today. They are blaming her distaff side little bastard Alex Salmond for stoking the fires of republic...
Representatives of John Terry are taking legal advice after an image resembling the footballer appeared on cigarette packs in India. The photograph of a blurred head and pale torso appears above the words SMOKING CIGARETTES CAN LEAD TO BEING CAPTA...
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has revealed that controversial striker Mario Balotelli is refusing to give up a smoking habit thought to involve up to two packets of cigarettes a week. "I am against smoking - I urged him to give up but I...
HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus recently turned 19, and she now feels that she should have a lot more control in things relating to her music career. But according to a story reported by the El Lay Informer that is just not the case. Gibraltar Yukon wi...
Smokers have been warned about increasing levels of violence involving cigarette stubs. In a nicotine-related attack, a 17-year-old youth died in unexpected circumstances. A post-mortem revealed John Fagg had been strangled by a string of tab ends...
In a revolutionary initiative driven by breweries, the government, and a delegation from the FTSE's Top 100, beer prices will be reduced to a pound a pint in time for Christmas, with cigarette prices plunging to fifty pence a packet, and the lifting...
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