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Funny story: Stockport Man Finds Higgs Boson Particle Behind Sofa

Stockport Man Finds Higgs Boson Particle Behind Sofa

Scientists are celebrating today after a retired plumber found the so called "God Particle" behind his sofa. Bill Appleton, 63, has expressed his surprise at his find. "I was only looking behind the sofa for some change to pay the window cleaner...

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Funny story: 'Galaxy Quest' moment as CERN boffins recreate Star Trek anti-matter warheads

'Galaxy Quest' moment as CERN boffins recreate Star Trek anti-matter warheads

Switzerland - Astrophysicists at Switzerland's CERN Institute have replicated anti-matter warheads first debuted on a Star Trek episode in 1966. A report on the Beeb TV news channel broadcast an excerpt on Monday night showing Captain Jim Kirk ord...

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Funny story: Anti-Matter 'Missing' From Universe Is Found

Anti-Matter 'Missing' From Universe Is Found

Cosmology's biggest mystery has been solved due to pioneering work at CERN. The Big Bang Theory predicts that the universe should contain equal quantities of matter and anti-matter. The fact that only matter had been observed led cosmologists to a...

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Funny story: Higgs Boson Particle Disappointment

Higgs Boson Particle Disappointment

Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider at Cern, near Geneva thought they had hit the jackpot last month in their search for the elusive Higgs Boson particle, which is believed to give everything in the universe mass. Rumours have been circulating...

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Funny story: 'God' particle found at Easter? - now there's a coincidence!

'God' particle found at Easter? - now there's a coincidence!

Rumours are spreading around the science world following the 'leak' that the illusive so called Higgs boson, the 'God' particle, has been detected. The Higgs boson is a theorised particle which 'Big Bangs' use to form universes. Supposedly. All...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider Success Down To Local Sparky

Large Hadron Collider Success Down To Local Sparky

Eggheads operating the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) have been enjoying a great deal of success with their experiments over recent weeks. And they have local electrician Dave Coaxial to thank for their celebrations. The collider, which is operate...

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Funny story: Anti-Matters Captured at CERN

Anti-Matters Captured at CERN

GENEVA, SWITZ. - The LHC, has captured one Anti-Matters particle, a particle that will make certain things irrelevant to everything. The Anti-Matters (AM) was captured by scientists at the LHC in CERN, which will, hopefully, further man's knowledg...

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Funny story: Transformer problem for CERN

Transformer problem for CERN

Geneva, Switzerland. The Large Hadron Collider, operated by the CERN corporation, has mysteriously developed powers enabling it to transform itself into mobile fighting machines such as seen in the sci-fi movie "Transformers". One such transformat...

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Funny story: Large Hedron Collider confirms the worst

Large Hedron Collider confirms the worst

Zurich, Switzerland. In absolutely mind blowing, astonishing news, the Large Hedron Collider has once and for all time confirmed that UK personality "Ozzie" Osbourne does not have anything resembling a brain between his ears. The elite team of sci...

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Funny story: Big Bang for Alice

Big Bang for Alice

Alice, the name given to the Large Hadron Collinder in Geneva which is probing the nature of matter, has been creating mini Big Bangs resulting in temperatures a million times higher than those at the centre of the sun. 'That is HOT' said Professo...

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Funny story: Hadron Collider To Be Turned Into Water Slide

Hadron Collider To Be Turned Into Water Slide

The controversial Hadron Collider is to be turned into a water slide it has emerged today. In an unprecedented move the Royal Society For Science Type People In White Coats have decided to close the facility on the Franco-Swiss border due to the...

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Funny story: "Black Hole" Machine to be switched on this week

"Black Hole" Machine to be switched on this week

The latest in a long line of media-hysteria-baiting scientific devices is due to be activated this week. Scientists at CERN, near Geneva, ever sensitive to uninformed histrionic bellowing from the press about machines such as The Large Hadron Collid...

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Funny story: Scientists at the Hadron Collider set record for "Jim Beam" energy

Scientists at the Hadron Collider set record for "Jim Beam" energy

A record three times the energy level was achieved at the recently restarted European Organization for Nuclear Research center in Geneva, Switzerland yesterday. The collider's usual speed limit is set at 1 Trillion electron volts but overly celeb...

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Funny story: Physicists closer to finding "God particle"

Physicists closer to finding "God particle"

Despite damage to the large particle accelerator last year, Europe's particle physics lab Cern is still striving to discover the "God particle", also known as Hogg's bison. The particle was first hypothesised by Dr Rode Hogg in 1902. After a lifet...

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Funny story: Theory on LHC:FBH solution discussed by boffins

Theory on LHC:FBH solution discussed by boffins

Braniacs from all over the planet met today in Lausanne, Switzerland in an attempt to thrash out a solution to the Financial Black Hole, caused by the Large Hadron Collider. Many theorum have been discussed and discarded as argument, counter-argum...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider Responsible for Global Financial Crisis

Large Hadron Collider Responsible for Global Financial Crisis

The switch off of the controversial CERN Large Hadron Collider on 19th September, only 9 days after it was first switched on, had initially been reported as being necessary due to a leak of 6 tonnes of liquid helium, which had damaged the massive ele...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider now a sex symbol

Large Hadron Collider now a sex symbol

The Large Hadron Collider, located in Switzerland, has achieved a notoriety it would never have been previously dreamed possible: as a sex symbol. Hundreds of females who have visited the web site have emailed the CERN corporation who manage the...

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