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Funny satire stories about Cannibalism

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Funny story: Brain Eating Virus Identified - Could Be Responsible For Cannibal/Zombie Attacks

Brain Eating Virus Identified - Could Be Responsible For Cannibal/Zombie Attacks

The Center for Diseased Conditions in Atlanta Ga. announced early Thursday that a mutant strain of the dreaded KMA2 nerve virus - which renders individuals incapable of coherent thought, and likely to react violently to things like flies and grey shi...

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Funny story: US Animal Rights Organizations Membership in Decline

US Animal Rights Organizations Membership in Decline

Washington DC: The US Department of Labor announced that the number of animal rights activists residing in the 48 contiguous states has steadily declined by 50% between 2009 and 2012. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) launched a probe int...

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Funny story: German Masterchef pulled off the air after cannibalism rumours

German Masterchef pulled off the air after cannibalism rumours

The German version of Masterchef, Meisterkoch has been taken off the air when it was revealed that the contestant calling himself Hans Waschen was the suspected cannibal Luka Magnotta. "We were initially okay with Magnotta's first round dish," sai...

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Funny story: Cannibals outraged at media's coverage of zombie attack

Cannibals outraged at media's coverage of zombie attack

MIAMI, Fl. - Cannibals from all over the United States and the world have registered their complaints that the media coverage following an attack in Miami is unfairly depicting cannibalism as an act committed on a living person. A cannibal is defi...

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Funny story: Greyhound Bus Cannibal to get Hospital Furloughs after Agreeing to eat only Vegans

Greyhound Bus Cannibal to get Hospital Furloughs after Agreeing to eat only Vegans

They Grey Hound bus guy who stabbed another guy to death and ate part of him while requesting take home boxes for the parts that he did not eat, has now been granted furloughs from Canada's Asylum for Future US Members of Congress which is more commo...

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Funny story: Swedish cannibal and vampire to marry in; bloody hell!

Swedish cannibal and vampire to marry in; bloody hell!

A self-confessed cannibal and his vampire mistress have asked their psychiatric institute in Sweden if they can get married and live the rest of their bloody lives together (promises to be pretty short lives!). The cannibal, enjoyed chewing the fl...

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Funny story: Acton Cannibal ate neighbour's brain

Acton Cannibal ate neighbour's brain

Acton man Terry Scrote has turned himself in to the police and confessed to eating his neighbour's brain. "I was Hank Marvin after getting legless in the Bush with Stan Snide so i necked the contents of Arthur Saveloy's skull" claimed the part ti...

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Funny story: Jimmy Hoffa's Rib Bone Found In Obama's "Uncle Omar" X-Rays: Remains To Be Seen Before Charges Pressed

Jimmy Hoffa's Rib Bone Found In Obama's "Uncle Omar" X-Rays: Remains To Be Seen Before Charges Pressed

CHICAGO: On July 30, 1975, Teamster president Jimmy Hoffa disappeared from the face of the earth. Until yesterday his disappearance remained a mystery. Although he had many enemies who had reason to kill him, Chicago police and the FBI were unable...

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Funny story: New USDA Food Guide Condemning America's Cannibals to Slow Starvation

New USDA Food Guide Condemning America's Cannibals to Slow Starvation

Washington - Cannibals testifying before Congress today criticized the Obama Administrations recent change from the decade old food pyramid to the new MyPyramid. With much fanfare, the USDA recently retired the old Food Guide Pyramid and replaced...

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Funny story: Come Dine With Me - The Cannibal Edition

Come Dine With Me - The Cannibal Edition

Channel 4 favourite Come Dine With Me has become staple viewing for foodies across the country. The programme, where 5 strangers meet over the course of a week, are treated to home cooking by each contestant in turn, and then vote on the results with...

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Funny story: Local Man Unimpressed By 3D Johnny Depp Pirate Movie

Local Man Unimpressed By 3D Johnny Depp Pirate Movie

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was treated to his first 3D cinematic experience last night, when he attended a local theatre to see Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz in Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Initial reports indicate that Shuttlec...

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Funny story: Slovakian cannibal changed his mind because his Swiss victim stunk of garlic!

Slovakian cannibal changed his mind because his Swiss victim stunk of garlic!

A Slovakian cannibal who advertised for a victim to be eaten over the internet changed his mind as his victim, a Swiss Nutter, turned up stinking of garlic. Most cannibals like their meat fresh, tender and without any spices or herbs attached, but...

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Funny story: Entertainment world mourns the loss of Bingo Euphrates

Entertainment world mourns the loss of Bingo Euphrates

Eastern European transsexual entertainer, Bingo Euphrates, was mauled to death yesterday by her troop of acrobatic midgets. The savage attack on the 47 year old entertainer was described by one witness as being, 'savage'. The attack took place...

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Funny story: Cannibal tribe discovered in Wales

Cannibal tribe discovered in Wales

Details were today released about a tribe of cannibals recently discovered in the Welsh Valleys. It today emerged that the Welsh assembly have been dithering over what action to take for almost a week. A spokesman said: "We recently received repor...

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Funny story: Benayoun lifts the lid on cannibalism at Liverpool

Benayoun lifts the lid on cannibalism at Liverpool

Former Liverpool FC player Yossi Benayoun has made sensational claims that an ex-team mate tired to eat him during his time on Merseyside. Benayoun stunned reporters when he lifted the lid on the cannibalistic ways of an old colleague. The play...

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Funny story: Skye islanders eat seamen

Skye islanders eat seamen

Emergency services were alerted by radio from the troubled nuclear submersible HMS Astute this morning, but soon after all contact with the submarine crew was lost. Upon approaching the stricken vessel it was noticed that it was listing with no on...

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Funny story: "You are what you eat" not meant to be taken literally

"You are what you eat" not meant to be taken literally

SCIENTISTS are pleading with people to exercise common sense after a sudden spike in hospital admissions were linked with canabalism. Patients were admitted into local hospitals and clinics with gashes and bite marks on arms and legs. "I unders...

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