Robert Irwin, son of deceased and crazed Australian naturalist Steve Irwin, had to be put under a spell of some sort by the Duchess Of Cornwall after he released venomous snakes at a black tie charity event in London. The Duchess is well known fo...
A spokesman for Buckingham Palace has confirmed rumours circulating in London that the Royal corgis were amongst Rolf Harris' victims of sexual abuse. However rumours of a foursome involving the Duchess of Cornwell have been hotly denied by the Ro...
International Waters, The Lizard - A rogue submatine thought to be under the command of Captain Marko Ramius has been sighted off Camilla's private quarters a royal protection racket source said today. The Red Oktober, a Yeltsin-class submersible...
Buckingham Palace, London, England-Queen Elizabeth, as did most of the rest of the audience, fell asleep during a Prince Charles speech yesterday. "All he had to do was say 'gardening' and I was out" said the Queen. "It at least used to take long...
Camilla Parker, Duchess of Cornish is to play the title role in Prince Edward's debut movie, "Dawn, of The Planet of The Ape Women", playing a female ape-humanoid creature instead of incumbent Helen-Bonnington-Carter. Prince Edward, who always th...
New York - Well oiled after attending a West 46th St club bash involving loads of booze UK travel writer and elephant obsessive Mark Shand has been reported dead this evening after a mishap involving some treacherous New York pavement slabs. Frie...
LONDON - Scotland Yard has reported that they have uncovered a political plot by the infamous Taliban to kidnap Camilla Parker Bowles, wife of Prince Charles. Officer Higgins Higginbrook speaking to Chatsworth Wigginholt of The Ta Ta For Now News...
CHICAGO - A spokesperson for The Fig Leaf Bookstore, which is one of the nation's largest, has stated that Pippa Middleton's new tell-all book, titled Pippa's Royal Rumblings is literally flying off the bookshelves. The book which Len Goodman, Bar...
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (ABSNN) - A court in this New Zealand city ruled today that "this country is a Horseshit Free Zone." The ruling came on the heels of the arrest of an anti-monarchist, Sam Bracanov, a seventy-six year old man who made it c...
NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Donald Trump places "all the blame for the fuss about the topless photos of Kate Middleton squarely on Kate herself." "There should be a law," says Trump, "that no British Royal be allowed to get nekkid, ever, even when bat...
Prince Charles and his wife Camilla will not be buying new clothes to take with them on their Diamond Jubilee touring holiday to Australia, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea this November. Instead they will be taking with them some of the clothes the...
Not to be outdone in the media frenzy surrounding the recent exposure of the Duchess of Cambridge's modest breasts, the Irish tabloid, The Sunday Gobshite, has printed rather unflattering photos of another senior member of the British Royal Family.
Cornwall - A gelatinous Cabo-adjunto - ['Attached corporal'] has been found washed up in the Duchess of Cornwall nether regions according to marine pest control reports. Described by Portuguese military sources as a varmint 'with a gas-filled blad...
London - Cringe-making stories about royal humbug are being lapped up by red tops deprived of phone-hacked stuff. And most of the rubbish is coming from Camilla, doyenne of Palace bollocks and other unsavory crap. At an editorial meeting of QM-...
Gloucestershire - She's been busy incubating some genetically modified parasitic mites suspected of zombifying most of the United Kingdom into Diamond Jubilee stupor last week. Carried on infected worker drones' probosces the bugs emit a lethal pa...
Do you remember that as part of the Silver Jubilee the Royals took part in what was then the top TV program It's a Knockout it was called It's a Royal Knockout? Well I can exclusively reveal that a similar TV program to be adopted by the Royals fo...
Cornwall - Local scrimshaw foragers said today a decapitated horse's head on a Cornwall beach had three Prince of Wales albatross feathers stuck in its snout. It was found washed up on Pentegwam Bay just weeks after a mutilated pregnant mare's co...
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