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Former Boston Celtics Player Comes Out of The Sports Closet and Admits He's Gay

Funny story: Former Boston Celtics Player Comes Out of The Sports Closet and Admits He's Gay

WASHINGTON, D.C. - There has been all kinds of innuendo, speculation, and rumors as to who would be the first player from one of the four professional sports to come out of the closet. Well ladies and gentlemen, you can hold your calls as we have...

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Celtics Look Like Jack the Ripper's Victims

The Celtics are taking on water faster than it can be bailed. If you want to bail out the Celtics, have a miracle sent in from Fatima, Lourdes, or the Mount of Olives. Ask Rajon Rondo to put on his superman suit, replete in green. With the ever...

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Rondo Parked on Bench for Playoffs

Rajon Rondo returned to the Celtics for the first game of the playoffs. Unfortunately, he served as a coach far more than a cheerleader. As Doc Rivers told the assembled multitudes of media, Rondo knew all the Knick plays and could direct traffic...

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Celtics Knock Knicks Knack

All the Celtics are pointing out the New York Knickerbockers are better than anything seen since Washington Irving penned a few tales about the breed. When it comes to false modesty, the Celtics take the prize. If the series comes down to smack-ta...

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Stephen Hawking Picks the Celtics in Deep Six

Famed scientist Stephen Hawking, a kin of Albert Einstein in the cosmology of odds and evens, has claimed the Boston Celtics' fate is in the hands of quantum fluctuations. Hawking told an audience of eggheads whose brain is in the shape of a baske...

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Heat & Celtics Snooze & Stretch in Playoff Preview

A preview of the playoffs between the Celtics and the Heat did not happen on Friday night. Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce did not play as their heels were aching from playing another 18 holes of golf in Miami. That Florida sunshine can sap your ene...

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Rondo Throws Pearls of Wisdom Before Swine

When Rajon Rondo speaks, everyone listens-more or less. In his first major interview since tearing his ACL and finding himself out in the cold and out for the season, Rondo spoke to ESPN, knowing his words will be parsed with all the interest...

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Mix and Match Red Sox and Celtics: You Can't Tell Them Apart

BOSTON-- We were struck on the first game of the season for the Red Sox that they could easily change roles with counterparts on the Boston Celtics. Obviously we have been drawing parallels between Rajon Rondo and Jacoby Ellsbury for years. This...

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President Obama Makes An NBA Bet With Mitt Romney

Funny story: President Obama Makes An NBA Bet With Mitt Romney

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama is smiling from ear-to-ear after having made an NBA bet with the man he defeated in the 2012 presidential election, Mitt Romney. President Obama said that he was sitting in the backyard at the White House enjoyin...

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Rondo Resurrects in Boston

Rajon Rondo returned to Boston in time for Easter. No, this was not a resurrection. Rajon was sitting on the bench in a spiffy green and black stripe jersey and dark sports coat. He won't be playing again until end of summer. The final ten gam...

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The Miami Heat Have Now Won 24 In A Row!

Funny story: The Miami Heat Have Now Won 24 In A Row!

CLEVELAND - The Miami Heat blew into the City on Lake Erie and melted the place as they won their 24th game in a row by beating the Cleveland Cavaliers 98-95. The Heat managed to overcome a 27 point deficit in the third quarter but showed that the...

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Ray Allen & Wes Welker Hightail It Out of New England

Like Ray Allen of the Celtics, Wes Welker of the Patriots took the first stagecoach out of Dodge. Celtics coach Doc Rivers said, "Say it ain't so, Wes." He too saw the parallel of a major star on a successful team choosing to leave town. Ray Al...

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Kevin Garnett's Big Secret is Out of the Closet

CELTICS NATION-Kevin Garnett hit a three pointer for the second game in a row. This has been treated in some circles like a man coming out of the proverbial closet wearing a feather boa. The shock has been palatable. Fans in Celtic Nation have beg...

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Tom Brady Agrees to Stay in New England with Kevin Garnett

COLD NEW ENGLAND: Tom Brady has just lowered the bar for all overpaid quarterbacks in the NFL. By accepting a contract extension for peanuts with the Patriots, Tom has given them enough wiggle room to sign Wes Welker and Aqib Talib. Brady does...

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Clothes Make the Sportsman Rich: Eruzione & Schilling

This week we had a glimpse into what the well-dressed Boston sports fan ought to be donning. The usual uniform of sports jersey, sneakers, and baseball cap just seems so bland that you now have to skip the sports fashion store and go directly to S...

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Green Blood, Green Cheese, and the Boston Celtics

Celtics bleed green blood like a hemophiliac from some star system in the outer universe. You have to live on the Moon made from green cheese to know about bleeding green. Kevin Garnett refused any trades because he was a Celtic for life -and...

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Boston Celtics Meet Chicken Little

Fans have suffered exquisite torture at the hands of the Celtics GM Danny Ainge. Of course, even the horrors of the Auto de fe or the Inquisition required more than just the Grand Inquisitor. The Boston media has provided more chills than Joan...

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To Trade or Not to Trade Kevin Garnett

Kevin Garnett doth protest too much. He keeps saying he is a Boston Celtic player for life. He knows life is too short-even to spend the rest of his career with Shorty Rondo. If Queen Gertrude of Hamlet knew nothing, then Garnett is the maste...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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