Short-arsed Irish singing turd, Bono, has banned bingo on the U2 tour bus, say insiders. The loud-mouthed leprechaun had a hissy-fit after bassist Adam Clayton won three times on the trot. Bono, almost named after the famous dog treat, is said to...
U2 are eagerly planning to get back on the road having been inroduced to the concept of Understatement by listening to a bunch of records they are planning to rip-off in an insipid and half assed manner. The "Understatement" tour will be carried f...
Last night's edition of 21st Century Schizoid Britain's Got Talent was definitely the best yet. Judges Pol Pot, Richard Nixon and Bono were simply knocked out by the array of talent on show at the Stevenage Unspecified Meat Products Abbatoir. P...
The world has been rocked by the news that rock act U2's Bono has rescheduled dates in the U.S and Canada. It has long been acknowledged that the singer has become one of the most influential men in global politics, regularly appearing at world pe...
While selection of a single stage name became popular in the late 70's and 80's, many elderly musical artists are starting to regret their chosen monikers now that retirement is looming. What was a unique way to draw attention to yourself as an ar...
If you see Bono photographed anywhere he always has his shades on, but few ask why. Apparently Bono was born with an eye disease called Albentism or Elberwaer's Disease. Some doctors even call it "Bono's Eye Problem!" He's is almost like a vamp...
Susan Boyle and veteran rockers U2 are said to be delighted to perform on a new concept album dedicated to the memory of Raoul Moat. The album entitled The Love Moat also includes contributions from Coldplay and Phil Collins, who will be singing f...
It was announced today that teen star Justin Bieber will join a huge list of performers that has been organized by Larry King to be aired Monday night. It will be a fundraiser for those that are victims of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. "You...
A Gorilla is to replace the rock band U2 at the Glastonbury festival next month, after singer Bono announced that an injury he sustained in Germany was more serious than at first thought. The legendary band were due to appear at the festival at t...
U2 frontman Bono was recovering well yesterday from emergency surgery to combat injuries sustained while he was preparing for his latest US Tour, writes Sal Volatile, Entertainment Correspondent. U2 promoter Arthur Goebbels confirmed that all 16 U...
Following the news that the lead singer of U2, "The Bono" is to have his entire spine removed so that it can be blessed by the Pope, the remaining band members have taken steps to replace the star for their summer tour dates. The controversial dec...
Bono the popular Irish terrier and lead singer of rock/pop/dance/rap/punk/crap/sh*t/b*llocks band U2 is to be put down after breaking his back in a bizarre accident. The pint sized pup was rehearsing for an appearance at Glastonbury next month whe...
Although we can't confirm it just yet, we are assured on good authority that Katie Price is to put the house which she shared with Aussie waster Peter Andre on the market. Because it's haunted. Or as the lady herself describes it: "orntid."...
Bono, the humanitarian and lead singer of U2, has claimed that he created the German passenger car, the Volkswagen Passat. This was one of a number of bizarre claims made by the singer at a press conference where Peter Robinson announced that he w...
U2 frontman and tireless campaigner for lost causes, Bono, today announced that he plans to make the theme tune from 60's US comedy show 'The Beverley Hillbillies' into a stadium anthem. "I watched reruns of the show as a kid and I loved it," Bono...
(Defecated News) We love to hate them, but some turn it into an art form. Saying one thing, but doing the total opposite, and normally fucking innocent people over in the process. Here's my TOP 5 HYPOCRITICAL BASTARDS list: 5) BONO - jets around in big planes, but complains about governments doing the same. Twat. 4) ISLAM - Literally means 'religion of peace' - yeah, right! 3) DIAN...
Stories are running rampant that Bono, legendary leader of the rock group U2, has met up with a serious accident. His behaviour has become extremely erratic and not like him at all. In the early 70's there were the "Paul McCartney is dead" rumou...
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