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Funny story: 20 PRINT "A giant"; X$; "goes out to Darren Aronofsky...

20 PRINT "A giant"; X$; "goes out to Darren Aronofsky...

APPLE ][e LOAD APPLEBasi > SYNTAX ERROR LOAD APPLESoft Basic > COPYRIGHT 1977, 1979, 1980 > Apple Computers, Inc. CLS ‎5 HOME: CLS 10 LET X$ = "F--k you!" 20 PRINT "A giant"; X$; "goes out to Darren Aronofsky for "; 30 PRINT "Black Swan. Spoiler Alert: It sucks. Act 1 "; 40 PRINT "Natalie Portman is weepy and looks in mirrors a lot. Act 2 "; 50 PRINT "Nat...

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Funny story: Black kids in the US can't swim, why?

Black kids in the US can't swim, why?

The US black population cannot swim, don't want to learn and have never bothered, WHY? A US survey has discovered that Blacks just don't like water (swimming in it) and tend to avoid swimming pools and lessons like the pest. A Professor at Yale...

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Funny story: Laura Schlessinger Uses The "N" Word 11 Times On The Air - She Makes Mel Gibson Seem Like Donny Osmond

Laura Schlessinger Uses The "N" Word 11 Times On The Air - She Makes Mel Gibson Seem Like Donny Osmond

LOS ANGELES - Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a radio advice show host and author of several self-help books, who certainly did not get her doctorate in race relations, racial sensitivity, or femininity has gone and put, or rather shoved her size 11 high hee...

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Funny story: Charles Barkley Rips Into LeBron James Calling Him A Punk

Charles Barkley Rips Into LeBron James Calling Him A Punk

SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - Charles Barkley, aka The Round Mound of Rebound may have done gone and stepped smack dab in it this time. Barkley in town judging a Crayfish Eating Contest was asked what he thought about LeBron James leaving the Cleveland...

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Funny story: Obama Asks Conservatives for Legitimate List of People They Would Like to See Fired

Obama Asks Conservatives for Legitimate List of People They Would Like to See Fired

In yet another bold move by President Obama to prove to the country that he is willing to put partisan politics aside and do what is best for the country, has asked for a list from the leaders of various conservative and libertarian groups naming dem...

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Funny story: Historians Discover That Brigham Young Was Really Black

Historians Discover That Brigham Young Was Really Black

Historians have discovered that Brigham Young, the second prophet of the LDS (Mormon) Church was actually black. Dr. Hyrum Kimball at Northern Utah State University revealed his controversial findings at a symposium of Mormon History marking the 180...

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Funny story: The BET Awards: Chris Brown, Kanye West, And Prince - The Yo Bro's Do The Do

The BET Awards: Chris Brown, Kanye West, And Prince - The Yo Bro's Do The Do

LOS ANGELES - The BET Awards (Black Entertainment Television) were held in L.A.'s Aunt Jemima Commemorative Auditorium, which has recently been remodeled to include a special 'Big Assed' section for plus plus size gals such as Aretha Franklin, Oprah...

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Funny story: Lady Gaga becomes the Lady In Black

Lady Gaga becomes the Lady In Black

Lady Gaga was seen yesterday with yet another bizarre outfit as she arrived at a dance studio in Los Angeles, wearing a bizarre black bodysuit and funeral veil. Some people were calling her the Lady in Black, instead of the Lady in Red, in the famous...

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Funny story: Dr Who disappears into 8 minute black hole

Dr Who disappears into 8 minute black hole

Soon-to-be-exterminated Dr Who - the actor David Tennant - caused a panic among his fans yesterday when he was not spotted on any televsion network for more than eight minutes. Worried supporters flooded the switchboards of all the major channells...

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Funny story: Local Man Goes On Holiday To Blackpool - Comes Back A Black Man!

Local Man Goes On Holiday To Blackpool - Comes Back A Black Man!

Local man George Seacroft spent a delightful weekend in glamorous Blackpool and returned to his village as a much younger black man. The 72-year old pensioner couldn't explain the change and is no adjusting to life as a hunky 29-year old black dud...

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Funny story: Philadelphia Cops Keep Forgetting About White Trash

Philadelphia Cops Keep Forgetting About White Trash

PHILADELPHIA, PA - Several black Philadelphia police officers filed a federal lawsuit against their department Thursday, alleging the online forum used by its officers is "infested with racist, white supremacist and anti-African-American content."...

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Funny story: "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" to be Remade by Gays, Blacks, Mormons, Nerds, and Others

"Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" to be Remade by Gays, Blacks, Mormons, Nerds, and Others

The rights for the 1954 movie Seven Brides for Seven Brothers have been lost and have fallen into Public Domain. The movie tells the story of the Pontipee brothers, who kidnap a group of girls to become their wives. As they live in backwoods Oregon...

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Funny story: UK cities install black street lights

UK cities install black street lights

In an effort to cut costs and help the environment, all British cities changed their street light bulbs from orange ones to black ones today. 'This will lower greenhouse gases and provide jobs for thousands of tea-drinking council workers', Prime...

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Funny story: Black Children's TV presenter "scares young viewers"

Black Children's TV presenter "scares young viewers"

A children's TV channel came in for criticism last night when complaints were made about its new presenter Simon Churchill who some parents claimed "scared their kids". Churchill, 26, whose grandfather was from Jamaica and settled in the the UK in...

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Funny story: A Black Man's View of U.S. Holidays

A Black Man's View of U.S. Holidays

Ogres, gargoyles, sorcerers, fairies, gremlins, trolls, elves, goblins, leprechauns, vampires, ghosts, unicorns, centaurs, werewolves, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Frankenstein, the Easter Bunny, the Hamburglar, wicked witches, Martians, the Grinch, the Sand Man and the Grim Reaper. All are bunk creations, but no worse than fortunetellers, radio psychologists, TV Evangelists, numerologists, Tarot...

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Funny story: Black the NEW Black

Black the NEW Black

In a sweeping phenomena, reported here first, black is the 'new black'. From booked tanning salons, skyrocketing subscriptions to Ebony and Jet media publications to 'booty enhancing shapewear'. Here to for strictly black products like Afro-sheen...

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Funny story: Whites ask: Are ya happy NOW?

Whites ask: Are ya happy NOW?

Having reached the pinnacle of power in all venues of mankind, from the entertainment world, to sports, music and arts, all manner of cultural influence, and now President of United States, whites ask blacks, "Are ya happy now?" White Joe Six-pack...

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