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Funny satire stories about Black Friday

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Funny story: California's Black Friday Pepper Sprayer Who Sprayed 20 Customers Has Been Captured

California's Black Friday Pepper Sprayer Who Sprayed 20 Customers Has Been Captured

PORTER RANCH, California - Porter Ranch, the town in the San Fernando Valley resembled 1880s Tombstone, Arizona, more than it did a modern day California city on Black Friday. The Porter Ranch Police Department received calls that a crazy shopper...

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Funny story: Black Friday 2 hits shelves, 3D compatible with PS3

Black Friday 2 hits shelves, 3D compatible with PS3

Warring Bros. has released Black Friday 2 for the PlayerStation 3 and Xboxer 360 game consoles. The game offers several new gameplay features including Pepper Spray, 4 Player Tag-Team, Blue Light Challenge Mode, and King of the Clearance Rack. Bla...

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Funny story: The True Spirit of Christmas: Pepper Spray!

The True Spirit of Christmas: Pepper Spray!

The annual War on Christmas has already taken its toll this year, with atheist billboards going up next to highways across the country, shocking the sensibilities of Christians on their way to Wal-Mart. But some Christians have found a way to fight b...

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Funny story: Black Friday Bowel Movement Called Legendary

Black Friday Bowel Movement Called Legendary

Supermart shoppers were treated to some fantastic bargains this Black Friday, but they never expected to be around greatness. Hank Newburg was with his wife and admits to overeating on the Thanksgiving holiday. "I ate so much turkey and stuffin...

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Funny story: Michelle Obama Protests January White Sale after ' Black Friday' Stimulus Scheme Leads only to Riots and Mayhem

Michelle Obama Protests January White Sale after ' Black Friday' Stimulus Scheme Leads only to Riots and Mayhem

Michelle Obama, protector of the obese, champion of 4 meals a day for starving US children whose parents can't be arsed, railed at plans to go ahead with January White Sales after her husband's promise of 'change' failed miserably with his grand Bla...

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Funny story: Obama Almost Trampled on "Black Friday" during Stampede to Scoff New Version of "Grand Theft Auto" at Toy Store!

Obama Almost Trampled on "Black Friday" during Stampede to Scoff New Version of "Grand Theft Auto" at Toy Store!

It was announced today that Barry Obama's recent injuries were incurred when he slipped out of the grasp of his Secret Service handlers and was almost trampled to death at 3 a.m. as a horde of frenzied shoppers ran him over trying to scoff up the br...

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Funny story: Mad cows stampede through feed store on Black Friday

Mad cows stampede through feed store on Black Friday

WISCONSIN-- Employees at the BarnMart in Milwaukee braced themselves Friday morning for the yearly onslaught of cattle looking for the best deals on feed. A herd of heifers, bulls, and calves were lined up around the block in the wee hours waiting f...

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Funny story: Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black and Blue Friday

Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black and Blue Friday

Traditionally, the Friday after Thanksgiving in America has always been known as Black Friday. This is a day when stores open their doors in the wee hours of the morning and offer the deepest discounts on popular items to give shoppers a break in pri...

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Funny story: Black Friday Specials to Include Cheap Grocery Items

Black Friday Specials to Include Cheap Grocery Items

Women, Infants and Children (WIC) take heart. This year, Black Friday specials offered by stores such as Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, Sam's Club and others aren't all about the X-Box. They are all about survival. Instead of offering Wii's for less than...

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Funny story: Black Friday Changed To African-American Friday

Black Friday Changed To African-American Friday

Washington, D.C. - For decades the day after Thanksgiving has been the single busiest shopping day in the United States. Stores offer huge discounts on the "hottest items" and lines begin forming before the turkey gets carved. For decades this day ha...

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Funny story: Greeter Sleeps In On Black Friday

Greeter Sleeps In On Black Friday

Denver, (AP) - Hundreds of shoppers lined up in front of a Wal-Mart were dismayed and shocked to find the store had not opened at 4:00 AM as expected on Black Friday. Apparently, the greeter who was to open the store forgot to show up to work.

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Funny story: Man injured in black Friday "running of the shopper" ritual

Man injured in black Friday "running of the shopper" ritual

Residents of Durham reportedly awakened this morning to the ground shaking. Many thought their town was experiencing an earthquake, though tremors in North Carolina, outside of "Cameron Crazies," or North Carolina basketball teams winning national ch...

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