At the Olympics today its expected to be a two-horse race between the Algeria stars Nadjim Manseur and Nabil Madi in the 800 metres race. The two runners were victorious in their first rounds and beat a lot of the expected favorites from Europe an...
The 'real Bigfoot' capped an extraordinary year with a disappointing end for himself at the Bird's Nest in Beijing tonight, when he could only claim a silver medal in the Olympic Triple Jump event. Phillips Idowu, whose name is the wrong way aroun...
British 10km Open Water swimmer David Davies swam the race of his life to win a silver medal in Beijing today, but revealed afterwards that it nearly didn't happen. Davies told officials at the finish line that he believed he had "died", and come...
Usain Bolt has raised the bar in men's sprinting after lapping his rivals in the 200m final in Beijing and winning in a time of 0.578 seconds. The Jamaican managed to overtake his opponents for a second time on his lap of honour after he had already...
There was a new drugs scandal at the Olympic Games this morning, when the official responsible for starting sprint races with the starting gun failed a drugs test. Aun Yo Marx, who has started every sprint race thus far, tested positive for a ster...
IOC President, Jacques Rogge, has expressed his displeasure with Olympic sprint champion Usain Bolt, saying he has been disrespectful to other athletes by celebrating in a manner "totally inappropriate" for a man who has just broken two world record...
Unwanted export Gary Glitter was this morning en route to Beijing after being refused entry to every other country. Glitter was previously holed up in the tiny country of Limbo, just outside Thailand. It is believed that Glitter suddenly decided t...
The western hope that the Olympics would help democratize communist China has proven to be an opium pipe dream. As the Olympic Games have drawn closer and closer, China has become closed-er and closed-er. Repression of Tibet has increased. Silenc...
NATO HQ, Brussels - (Hoo Flung Dung Mess): Official: Mystery oil tycoons paid for Beijing Olympics. And NATO bigwigs have told Beijing's self-etiolating Olympic Committee eunuchs the shit will now hit the fan about just who paid for those 2008 Game...
Usain Bolt, the Jamaican 'quick man', had a setback in todays' 200m sprint final when he fell over, but still won, breaking the World Record in the process. Terminator Bolt flew out of the blocks, but stumbled, and shattered into a million tiny pi...
In a stunning breakthrough, UK scientists have shown that Olympic Medals have curious properties when collected in large batches. Effects include the disappearance of Human Rights Issues and the ability to cause depression in Australians. "We look...
Beijing, China - The Olympic swimming world was rocked today by the announcement that all swimming records have been cancelled and all medal winners are to be stripped of their awards after officials confirmed that the pool in the Water Cube falls sh...
The Closing Ceremony at the Beijing Olympics is to be an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza which will also include a wonderful fireworks display, and the ritual sacrifice of 2008 chickens and 8 bulls. 8 is a lucky number in China, but not for...
As the Olympiad comes to China, the Chinese government has commanded Beijing's restaurants to tell their dog meat dishes to stay...stay home! Chinese gourmets are protesting the removal of one of their best friends from the Bow-Wow Beijing menu.
Friday's opening ceremony at the Olympic Games was thrown into total disarray as riot police stormed the main stage and arrested cherpy Scouse veteran Comedian Ken 'Doddy' Dodd. He was punched, kicked and stun-gunned by Riot Police after comments mad...
Despite the controversial nature of the desire, some Asians have long longed for the round eyes of westerners. Surgery and injections have been employed to try and remedy the slated eye appearance of easterners. To the shock and awe of plastic surgeo...
In keeping with its stern policy of making the best possible visual impression during the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, ranking members of the Chinese Politboro have ordered their national Olympic committee to replace three of their seasoned and wel...
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