PLANTATION, Florida - The infamous Banana Boy, who's real name is Paquito De Los Platanatitos, confided to Larry King that he is the long lost illegitimate grandson of the Queen of the Cha Cha Cha, the fruit salad hatted Carmen Miranda. Miss Miran...
Britain's pedestrians were said to be 'afraid to leave their homes' today as reports emerged of a Lancashire man slipping on a discarded banana skin and falling comically to the ground. Alan Simpkin was enjoying a breezy autumnal stroll with his d...
THE shape of a man's penis can reveal how sexually and mentally alert he will be in later life, according to new research by the University of Glasgow. Sexologists found that men with more banana shaped penises were less likely to experience a slo...
Now the subject of much controversy, an unnamed scientific organization in Bern, Switzerland now claims that the common squirrel, in fact, evolved from bananas. The president of the organization, Murman Dinkles, says he wasn't surprised. "I me...
In Shropshire yesterday, a bank heist was foiled by a quick thinking member of the public. Lifoc Rhime entered the Shrewsbury branch of Lloyds TSB on Pride Hill brandishing a revolver demanding that the cashiers fill a holdall with the contents of...
The wife of the former Prime Minister, Cherie Blair, has checked into a clinic in London for treatment for her inability to smile. Mrs Blair, whose husband wrongly invaded lots of countries, suffers from the medical condition Smilitis Cannotis, where...
Port of Los Angeles/ Shipping News - In a gesture of solidarity, recently acclaimed President for Life, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez cemented his relationship with new US President Barack Hussein Obama, by delivering a boatload of fresh bananas for the Pr...
To give Neil Kinnock his due, he has worked tirelessly on behalf of British farmers for the past twenty years to overturn the EU directive that disallows the sale of knobbly carrots and bent cucumbers. Since the introduction of EU Directive 1677/8...
BALTIMORE - The Yearly Port of Lord Baltimore & Sister City Kawasaki, Japan Birds-of-a-Feather Flock Together Festival was a huge success. Thousands attended this year's fun-filled event including unemployed Rhode Island tennis coach, Cashmon...
The US announced today it will be invading Costa Rica based on evidence that the central American country is in possession of bananas of mass destruction.
The United States of America was formed in 1776 after the British gave up arguing and went home. Since then the citizens of the United States have created an electoral process that is the envy of dictatorships and banana republics all over the world.
It has finally come to pass. The classic children's show has finally been made into a full length block buster movie featuring such heroic gay actors as John Barrowman and Mr Hal Gibson.
Have you ever picked up a banana and considered the possibility that it might be evil? not unless you are below ten!...
Oak Ridge, Tennessee - The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued an All Points Bulletin (APB) for a genetically modified banana that went missing over the weekend.
(Dallas, Texas) César Sáez and other Canadian artists plan to launch a 300m-long inflateable banana into space.
A new species of banana has been discovered by biologists in Dorset. The bananas have been previously ignored by people as they thought that they could not possibly grow in such northern climates.
American President George W. (Wanker) Bush has been revealed to have 75% more banana genes than a normal human.
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