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Funny story: Bizarre Alien Civilization Actually Likes Telemarketers

Bizarre Alien Civilization Actually Likes Telemarketers

WASHINGTON, D.C. At a press conference yesterday,astronomer Dr. Stella Nightley (Ph.D, THC, LSD) announced that her team had discovered a new planet forty light-years from Earth. Thanks to the unprecedented power of the revolutionary new telescope a...

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Funny story: Astronomers Say Orion's Belt On Last Hole--Obesity Epidemic Blamed

Astronomers Say Orion's Belt On Last Hole--Obesity Epidemic Blamed

Orion's Belt, part of the constellation Orion, has expanded to the point that it's down to its final belt hole, a renowned scientist said today. Dr. Huang O'Flaherty, addressing the International Astronomical Union, told attendees, "Good morning...

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Funny story: Innovative astronomer tries to "sneak up" on Saturn

Innovative astronomer tries to "sneak up" on Saturn

Amateur astronomer Nils Snowberry explained how he has been trying to observe the ringed planet "when it wasn't aware he was looking." Snowberry said he could swear that the ring structure shifts in angle when he takes too long to set up his te...

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Funny story: Scientists discover sugar in the Milky Way

Scientists discover sugar in the Milky Way

Washington - Dr. P. Knut of the International Space Station has discovered a star in the Milky Way surrounded by sugar. The sugar was detected using sensitive instruments that can tell the molecular structure and composition of tiny hunks of sugar l...

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Funny story: Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Aries March 21st - April 19th Your must win at any cost attitude must be kerbed this September, for the sake of the less violent people around you, and to help prevent the high risk levels from the 4th to the 11th, of your making yourself look a bigger prat than usual. Especially if fail to think before talking! Your silent but deadly passing of wind, will reach new heights around the 14th,...

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Funny story: Pluto...a planet again?

Pluto...a planet again?

Two years after being demoted to the status of "interesting asteroid" Pluto may regain the title of planet after a fourth moon was found orbiting the distant object. Pluto was not spotted until 1921, and was thought to be planet sized due to it's...

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Funny story: Dark matter is out, sticky matter is in

Dark matter is out, sticky matter is in

In theoretical physics and cosmological circles there has been a good mannered debate raging for several decades over what is holding all the matter in galaxies together. "It's quite simple," said Brian Cox, presenter of The Sky At Night. "When we...

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Funny story: Twitter In Meltdown As First Extraterresterial Opens Account

Twitter In Meltdown As First Extraterresterial Opens Account

We all know about Twitter and its popularity in celeb circles; attracting as it does accounts by A-Listers as diverse as Britney Spears and the Dalai Lama. But now in what's believed to be first for the micro blogging site, Garok, an extraterrestrial...

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Funny story: Irish Astronomers: Vensus will collide with Jupiter Friday, Will it spell the end? American astronomers say 'Poppycock!"

Irish Astronomers: Vensus will collide with Jupiter Friday, Will it spell the end? American astronomers say 'Poppycock!"

DUBLIN (ABSNN) -- Irish astronomers told the press today that the planets Venus and Jupiter will collide at 0327 GMT this coming Friday. The two planets seem only inches away this evening and may be seen in the Western sky said astronomers. "We'r...

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Funny story: Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

PRAGUE-On August 24th, 2006, yet another piece of our embarrassingly fragile childhood was destroyed. At a meeting of the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Prague, a clear majority of astronomers voted for a definition of the term "planet" th...

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Funny story: Brian Cox In More Hot Water As Town Suffers Black-Out Crime Spree

Brian Cox In More Hot Water As Town Suffers Black-Out Crime Spree

TV space egghead Brian Cox is in more trouble today after a small west country town was devastated by a spate of burglaries last night. The crimes were committed during a town-wide black-out, co-ordinated as part of Cox's three-night BBC2 astronom...

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Funny story: Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments

Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments

TV space boffin Brian Cox has been given a "rocket up the arse" by BBC bosses for urging members of his audience to change channels. Cox was presenting the second episode in BBC2's three-night astronomy spectacular Stargazing Live with Irish comic...

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Funny story: London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London's astronomers are over the moon at the announcement that the London Borough of Ealing has been declared an International Dark-Sky Reserve. 'London is an international centre of excellence for numerous endeavours,' explained Mayor of London,...

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Funny story: Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed

Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed

Following the removal of Pluto's planet status by the International Astronomy Union in 2006, the dead orbiting body has received little respect. That is, until now. Discovered by the Hubbell telescope this past week, Pluto was found to have eviden...

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Funny story: NASA's Curiosity Rover will hunt for ancient Martian space base aperture

NASA's Curiosity Rover will hunt for ancient Martian space base aperture

Pasadena, Ca - Is a secret alien-hunting agenda behind Saturday's launch of NASA's $2.5 billion Mars Science Laboratory? Astrophysicists at the Agency's Jet Convulsion Laboratory have always rubbished claims that the red planet is a hollow structu...

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Funny story: Inflation is rising fast, say economists

Inflation is rising fast, say economists

Economists are turning to cosmologists to keep track of inflation, it is rising that fast. "It's going up so quickly," said Esme Duvet, economist for the London School of Economics Economy Department, "that we've been told that future economists w...

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Funny story: Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

NASA - Astronomers have discovered a pair of supermassive black holes in the twisty, spiral brain of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, NASA said Wednesday. Approximately 160 million light years from Earth, Ms. Palin is the nearest known such ph...

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