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Funny satire stories about Aspartame

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Funny story: New Yorkers draw line in the sand

New Yorkers draw line in the sand

New York NY - Police attempted to restore order today in Times Square amid a tumult of rioting fat people. Spokesperson Ms. Phat Derrierey explained why protest had turned to violence. "It's that ban an large sugary drinks. We all decided that e...

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Funny story: High school student manufactures gold from lead

High school student manufactures gold from lead

Golden, CO - From a town named Golden comes a discovery that is about to make the precious metal as cheap as lead. Apple Creek High School student Lanny Auris has developed a cheap process to make gold from lead, in his basement using only common ho...

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Funny story: Major retailers to put out barf buckets Thanksgiving afternoon

Major retailers to put out barf buckets Thanksgiving afternoon

Plymouth, Mass - Mal*Wart, JC Farthings, and Maced stores all plan to open right after millions of giant turkey dinners are consumed. Who wants to wait for Black Friday? According to Dr. Drew Upbird, medical consultant to the retail industry, con...

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's

Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's

Ozzy's House - Following the lead of his wife who cut off her breast to prevent cancer, Ozzy has had most of his brain cut out in a bold attempt to prevent Alzheimer's. His wife had this to say. "I think it has really improved his disposition. He...

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Funny story: Romney diet drink proven to be fake

Romney diet drink proven to be fake

Washington DC - According to Miss Adelle Bowersocks 1232C Upswine Gardens, Romney is not really drinking diet soda, as he appears to be. Miss Adelle was cleaning up after a $200,000.00 a plate dinner when she tasted what appeared to be left over die...

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Funny story: Scientists discover sugar in the Milky Way

Scientists discover sugar in the Milky Way

Washington - Dr. P. Knut of the International Space Station has discovered a star in the Milky Way surrounded by sugar. The sugar was detected using sensitive instruments that can tell the molecular structure and composition of tiny hunks of sugar l...

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Funny story: Message from Mars detected

Message from Mars detected

Mars - The Mars Rover has detected a radio message emanating from what appears to be the ancient remains of a building next to a dried up canal on Mars, according to Dr. Mipaysurtax and his team of scientists of the Earth ground crew, who have all b...

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Funny story: Aunt Jemima resigns Vice Presidential appointment

Aunt Jemima resigns Vice Presidential appointment

Washington DC - Aunt Jemima held a brief press conference today. She announced that she would no longer agree to be Gaston's pick for Vice President of the United States of America. "I's no way gunna serve no pancakes with crappy aspartame syrup.

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Funny story: New Greek ruins opening to the international community

New Greek ruins opening to the international community

Athens Greece - According to our source, Mr. Pimpleonizbuto, curator, the ruins of ancient Greece have been supplanted with the ruins of modern Greece. The new ruins are available for international touring now. Unlike the ancient ruins of Greec...

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Funny story: Aspartame resolves corn shortage

Aspartame resolves corn shortage

Fort Detrick, MD - According to scientist Dr. Orncay Olehay, a drought ready strain of corn has been developed that requires less water to grow. The recent devastating drought in the corn belt of the USA inspired this invention. The new corn prod...

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Funny story: Twitter down for cleaning of Aspartame Boy's Tweets

Twitter down for cleaning of Aspartame Boy's Tweets

The Cloud - Twitter insiders confided today that Twitter had to be taken down to remove all Tweets Tweeted by Aspartame Boy. In a confidential exchange of information, or so they thought, it was confided that Aspartame Boy's Tweets were deemed too...

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Funny story: Massive air raid scheduled for Maricopa County Arizona early Sunday

Massive air raid scheduled for Maricopa County Arizona early Sunday

Arizona - Sunday UPDATE - According to local reports in Mesa, AZ, the toxins were administered via truck early Sunday morning. In addition to the stray cats and mosquitoes that were killed, the occasional unaware pedestrian was sprayed. Of cour...

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Funny story: TIME .. TIME .. TIME

TIME .. TIME .. TIME

HOW TO DIE How to die. That is the question posed by the nation's magazine. But, is it: TIME TO DIE It probably is if you are an establishment news magazine that feeds people propaganda that is no longer believed by people capable of reading for themselves on the internet what is happening. That is why TheSpoof.com says TIME TO LIVE Time to enjoy some humor. SO, forget about dy...

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Funny story: Elvis robot destroyed by 32 ounce soda

Elvis robot destroyed by 32 ounce soda

NEW YORK - UPDATE 1 - Elvis is dying again. The robot was signing well when it paused for refreshment. After drinking a sugary 32 ounce soda in New York city, angry mobs of Bloomberg supporters chased the robot down Broadway, carrying 2 liter bott...

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Funny story: Mother of Defacelika virus author speaks

Mother of Defacelika virus author speaks

MIAMI FL - Dr. Echeeks mother, Jane, finally agreed to talk to TheSpoof.com when we bribed her with a bottle of gin. The in-depth interview sheds some light into the life and times of Dr. Echeeks. AB: What was the first sign that your son was troubled? Jane: Well, he used to set ants on fire with a Fresnel lens. Then he would bend down and inhale the smoke. He kept doing this till he would...

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Funny story: Scientists develop contagious man sterilizing microbe

Scientists develop contagious man sterilizing microbe

Berlin - A secret lab here has leaked through our source, technician Splay Hindus, that a contagious microbe has been developed that renders men sterile in two days time, irreversibly. The microbe, according to Hindus, produces a gene modificatio...

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Funny story: Infield-fly rule extended to ground balls

Infield-fly rule extended to ground balls

NEW YORK - Sandlot Andy, the chair of the baseball Playing Rules Committee, today held a press conference to announce new rules. At its May 2012 meeting, it voted to incorporate the extended infield-fly rule to apply to ground balls. Henceforth, any...

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