NEW YORK, NY--As the nation commemorates the 11th anniversary of the September 11 attacks, a coalition of adults have stepped forward to announce their concerns that the nation's 11-year-olds have grown up believing that the uncertain and gloomy...
On this, the 11th Anniversary Of 9/11, I wonder; why don't you know that, despite Stairwell A in the South Tower of the World Trade Center being intact after the plane crash, only four people above the impact site used it to escape. Four. Out of approximately 500. Because the story isn't sexy, and it casts a bad light upon those who we've canonized as heroes. Indeed, only 20 people esc...
New York - The Carnegie Hill chapter of Filthy Rich Pagans Anonymous is right up Barry's ass over Friday's lunation according to a new hex-messaging service launched today. A rare and stunning second August Full Moon lights up the heavens in that...
BOSTON--A-list action star and D-list daydreamer Mark Wahlberg, is once again a total badass and hero of the world, in his mind. In an interview with Men's Journal, Mr. Wahlberg claims that if he had been on board the ill-fated Titanic, he would have...
Hollywood actor Mark Wahlberg has apologized for his "ridiculous" remarks concerning the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Wahlberg told a men's magazine that if he had been on one of the planes as intended he would have: 'kicked the ass' of the terrorists...
"Don't eat Mabel's baked beans before a September 11 flight," was the response given by Willy Grey to officials after an American Airlines flight was escorted to Atlanta by F-16 fighter jets. Flight personnel alerted the pilot after noticing two p...
New York - Manhattan astrologers reckon the weekend's waxing Pisces full moon opposing the Sun in Virgo, sign of the Harvest Goddess in reap-as-you-have-sown mode, could be apocalyptic. Reports that a NY 10028 message board has been jammed with lo...
Amid reports that American spy networks have intercepted communications from Al Qaeda operative Lindsay Lohan indicating plans for a terrorist strike in New York or maybe Hoboken, both cities have heightened their security and even pulled out the fam...
Scotland - Its Ground Zero 10th anniversary lap of honor sucked the West Coast power grid supplying five million Arizona, California and Mexico homes on Thursday. This morning the same alien flagship was spotted hovering close to the Queen's Scott...
HARFOLD, Vermont--Harfold Academy has run into their first case of academic dishonesty--this on the first day of school! Lauren Bolton, daughter of 9/11 Commission member Samuel Bolton, allegedly submitted a summer reading position paper containin...
London - Fears that his pretence to the Throne of Albion has been rumbled have resulted in Prince Charles launching yet another 'extinction' rant. The destruction of a carefully crafted royal fiction had seen him sitting pretty on his royal compos...
London - Apocalyptic spoofwriting cabals are battening down some hatches after an Ephemeral Emergency Management Agency executive order was issued this morning. This warns a Spoof Writers Desk hits counter is mirroring the Doomsday Clock amid a re...
The FBI has revealed that, in the weeks after the 9/11 attacks in the US, employees of News International dug up the graves of victims and 'hacked' into them, removal vital organs, bones and even brains in an effort to find more information. Agent...
President Obama today assured all Americans that 9/11 would never be forgotten and added, somewhat forgetfully, "just like we never forgot Pearl Harbor." After a resounding round of applause from the gathered dignitaries and other assorted hanger...
Los Angeles - "They took the US for a ride," an LA FagHagSlagMag editorial commented today amid reports about the trio's 9/11 getaway from New York. A rival celebwatch site had earlier claimed Jackson was behind the wheel of a Cadillac Seville fer...
Today Glenn Beck on his radio show told his audience that he informed Bin Laden to buy gold, get miracle seeds and stock up on flashlight bulbs. "I know, I know I tell my listeners everyday to get ready for the government to come after you and take your freedoms, this Navy SEAL team just took the freedom of Bin Laden. I warned him that Obama does not care whose rights he violates since he is a...
An English pet store owner claims that Osama Bin Laden isn't really dead. Bin Laden, who was supposedly killed by American Special Forces and ground forces on a compound raid in Pakistan, was the leader of the terrorist group Al-Queda and the master...
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