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Funny story: Living is harmful to your health

Living is harmful to your health

Geneva. World Health Opposition scientists today revealed that staying alive was actually detrimental to your health. Statistics costing gazillions of euros of public money revealed that people who are alive are much more likely to die or become sick...

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Funny story: Spilt Beaver magazine nominates Celine Dion, Shania Twain for worst Canadian prize

Spilt Beaver magazine nominates Celine Dion, Shania Twain for worst Canadian prize

Quebec - (Ass Mess): Split Beaver magazine, the official organ of Canada's National Hystery Society, has nominated singers Celine Dion and Shania Twain for the top prize in its Worst Photographed Canadians contest.

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Funny story: Kate Moss Adulation Abounds

Kate Moss Adulation Abounds

After the chaos in Oxford Street earlier this week when Kate Moss revealed her new clothing range in Top Shop, there was more blind panic in the same street today when she ducked into McDonalds to us...

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Funny story: Election Results: Politics Still Boring

Election Results: Politics Still Boring

Record levels of voters turned out yesterday, as seats in the Scottish Parliament, the Welsh Assembly and most local authorities outside London were being hotly contested in what had been dubbed

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Funny story: Manchester United Boss Isn't Bothered By Champions League Defeat

Manchester United Boss Isn't Bothered By Champions League Defeat

Alice Ferguson, the Manchester United manager, uncharacteristically lost his temper yesterday when responding to questions about his team's Champions League exit at the hands of AC Milan at the S...

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Funny story: Ducks' Dicks Surprise Scientists - Ducks Report Sex Abuse!

Ducks' Dicks Surprise Scientists - Ducks Report Sex Abuse!

The NY Times reports the following: "This guy's the champion," said Patricia Brennan, a behavioral ecologist, leaning over the nether regions of a duck - a Meller's duck from Madagascar, to be specific - and carefully coaxing out hi...

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Funny story: Eat Less Live Longer! Anorexics Celebrate!

Eat Less Live Longer! Anorexics Celebrate!

Nutritionists and genetics researcher are announcing a connection between a longevity gene and a starvation diet. Dr Poindexter Poinsinister explains that the livelonger gene is fired up in roundworms who live on a barebones diet.

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Funny story: Five Scots and a Welshman Vote!

Five Scots and a Welshman Vote!

In what was thought to be a reliable referendum on the Blair decade, when 30 million voters were eligible to pass a long awaited verdict on the "Blahcade", poll watchers revealed that only five Scots and one Welshman had voted.

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Funny story: Rice and Beanz Talk Iraq at Borders!

Rice and Beanz Talk Iraq at Borders!

When secretaries of state usually meet it is in national capitols at conference tables as long as W list of misadventures, mistakes and missed opportunities. But in Bushplomacy open communication with any nation that cares more about its national int...

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Funny story: Stubborn as a Mule Syndrome Strikes Bushites

Stubborn as a Mule Syndrome Strikes Bushites

Medical researchers and political pollsters have fallen into a convergence of astronomical proportions. SAAMS, normally limited to neuter mule populations has been found in large groups of humans in the US Red states. The highly infectious disease ca...

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Funny story: Blair's new house in Jeffrey Archer Close gets periscope planning permission

Blair's new house in Jeffrey Archer Close gets periscope planning permission

London - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has won planning permission from Westminster Council to erect a periscope from the inside of his new family house in the aptly named Jeffrey Archer Close just off Conartist Square.

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Funny story: Ex-TV Presenter, MP & Failed Contender For Leadership Of UKIP Throws A Wobbly

Ex-TV Presenter, MP & Failed Contender For Leadership Of UKIP Throws A Wobbly

Police in London have issued an arrest warrant for perma-tanned former TV presenter and MP, Robert Kilroy-Silk.

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Funny story: Britney Spears Nude & Topless Photos Bare All

Britney Spears Nude & Topless Photos Bare All

ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA (HOLLYWOOD TRACKER)--Britney Spears pop diva and toxic twat of the limelight of stupidity has done it again. Where Britney walks trouble follows, but, this time it may be deliberate. Nude & topless

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Funny story: Peter Andre in brain scare

Peter Andre in brain scare

Peter Andre the sickly faced playmate of inflatable model Jordan has been discharged from hospital.

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Funny story: 2010 World Cup Could Be On English Soil

2010 World Cup Could Be On English Soil

In sensational news, the 2010 football World Cup could be staged in England, after building problems in South Africa have put the tournament plans in serious jeopardy. FIFA president...

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Funny story: J.M.W Turner pioneer of ape art

J.M.W Turner pioneer of ape art

London- A small terraced house in a run down corner of the nation's grand capital is the last place one might expect to find the startling new evidence that has shaken the world's art markets and cast a cloud of doubt upon one of the most cel...

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Funny story: Harry's Iraq outburst: "F*** 'em I'm Orf!"

Harry's Iraq outburst: "F*** 'em I'm Orf!"

THE Ministry of Defence and Buckingham Palace press offices are filled with red-faced, wheezing, heart-attacks-waiting-to-happen after the truth about the posting to Iraq of up-and-at-em Royal bullet magnet Prince Harry was revealed this week.

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