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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Theo Walcott Banned!

Theo Walcott Banned!

Theo Walcott has been banned for life from playing football, even for his home town team, after he proved positive for actually being a whippet. The Arsenal player, who plays unders Terry Henry's old number, is in fact a rare form of whippet. This...

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Funny story: Curse of Fergie le Fey goes wrong

Curse of Fergie le Fey goes wrong

A curse cast on Sir Raffaelot, a knight of the round football of Kop, by evil wizard and jouster Fergie le Fey today went badly wrong. Fergie had used his diabolical powers many times on his enemies before, including Lord Workev of New Castle, and...

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Funny story: Manchester United To Change Team Badge

Manchester United To Change Team Badge

After their miserable and bad-tempered 2-0 defeat to Fulham at Craven Cottage yesterday, last year's Premier League champions Manchester United were forced to face the grim reality that their title might just be slipping away from them. United, no...

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Funny story: Shock entry into the England volleyball team: Paul Scholes

Shock entry into the England volleyball team: Paul Scholes

London,21st Mar: The EVA announced the Great Britain Volleyball team for the looming World Championships. In what appears to be a move towards a strong show in the London Olympics of 2012, the team is dominated by youth. A shock inclusion was former...

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Funny story: Swiss Guard Referee

Swiss Guard Referee

Swiss neutrality at its most extreme - Scottish Second Division sides East Fife and Stranraer F.C. met at Bayview Stadium yesterday and experienced surely the most bizarre events ever to take place in sport. Eleven minutes into the game, referee J...

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Funny story: Carlos Tevez In 'West Ham Return' Shock

Carlos Tevez In 'West Ham Return' Shock

Manchester United fans are waking up to a real shock this morning, after it was revealed that their Argentine striker, Carlos Tevez, will be re-signing for West Ham United later today. The inclement weather prevalent in the Manchester area is thou...

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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo Cottaging Worry

Cristiano Ronaldo Cottaging Worry

Cristiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United whinger whose sexuality has often been the subject of much discussion, has said he is not looking forward to this afternoon's match at Fulham, and to the threat of a bit of cottaging. The Craven Cottage cro...

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Funny story: Fowlup Admits Using Phone In Front Of Goal

Fowlup Admits Using Phone In Front Of Goal

Robbie Fowlup, the former Liverpool goal scoring ace today admitted to using a mobile phone in front of goal. An emotional Fowlup said "I was spending so much time on my property deals that football just became a chore. Even when I was clean through...

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Funny story: Arsenal Lifted By Fabregas Return

Arsenal Lifted By Fabregas Return

Arsenal have received a massive boost with the return to training of their captain Cesc Fabregas after a serious spitting injury. The Spanish midfielder has been out of action since rupturing his tonsils when clearing his throat gainst Liverpool...

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Funny story: Fabregas Has Hyperactive Salivary Glands Claims Wenger And Arsenal

Fabregas Has Hyperactive Salivary Glands Claims Wenger And Arsenal

Arsene Wenger and various executive suits at the Arsenal Desperates (Degenerates?) Stadium today issued a statement to the effect that, following accusations that skipper Cesc Fabregas spat at Hull City assistant manager Brian Horton, AND at kraut ca...

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Funny story: Brian Clough to become Prime Minister

Brian Clough to become Prime Minister

After years of two sycophantic and simpering Labour Prime Ministers, the Queen invited Brian Clough to Buckingham Palace today, to take Gordon Brown's place as Premier. 'By 'eck', he said, after talks with Her Majesty, 'you've got to 'and it to th...

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Funny story: Raich Carter returns to Hull City, as Brian Horton succumbs to Rabies

Raich Carter returns to Hull City, as Brian Horton succumbs to Rabies

In an astonishing development former Hull City great Raich Carter, has been confirmed temporary assistant manager replacing the now sick Brian Horton. Celebrated psychic Mystic Meg confirmed that she was acting as Mr. Carters agent, and that Hull...

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Funny story: Arsenal Captain Cesc Fabregas To Face Lengthy Ban

Arsenal Captain Cesc Fabregas To Face Lengthy Ban

As the FA begins what could be a damaging investigation into an alleged incident at the Emirates Stadium last night, it emerged tonight that, regardless of whether or not Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas be found guilty of spitting at Hull City assistan...

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Funny story: Americans beat England at football and cricket

Americans beat England at football and cricket

Standards of England's sportsmen have fallen so low that the USA yesterday defeated England at football and cricket, and on the same day, and with the same players. 'It was easy', American fast bowler Ellington Duke said, 'we had them all out by l...

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Funny story: Hull City Robbed, Then Spat At (Allegedly) But Wenger Didn't See It

Hull City Robbed, Then Spat At (Allegedly) But Wenger Didn't See It

Hull City players and officials today remained in a state of shocked disbelief following the club's 2-1 defeat at the Emirates last night. "We were beaten by the linesman," fumed Hull boss Phil Brown. "Gallas was clearly offside when he scored the...

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Funny story: Everyone seeks Tevez Compensation

Everyone seeks Tevez Compensation

It seems that the recent saga over CarlosTevezGate looks set to continue as the government considers putting in a claim for the entire populace. It seems that since Sheffield United decided to ignore the fact that they were shite and blame an exce...

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Funny story: Wenger says "I saw nothing" in Fabregas Spitting Incident

Wenger says "I saw nothing" in Fabregas Spitting Incident

Hull manager Phil Brown was last night unmasked as "Captain Black", arch enemy of "Captain Scarlet" by Cesc Fabregas who fought him off bravely during an incident in a tunnel last night. The diminutive Spanish Gooner fought his way out of the alt...

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