New York, NY - In a rare political move not seen since the early '70's, Rosie Perez released a message via Twitter and Instagram, that her and her colleagues are collectively running a bi-partisan bid for the 2016 White House. "That is, if we don'...
WASHINGTON, DC - Republican candidates, Mark Rubio, Rand Paul and Ted Cruz held a joint news conference to announce their choices in transportation, after Hillary Clinton's huge media success with her "Scooby" van. Mr. Paul will be driving a 2003...
The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out into...
"I iz runnin for president!" With that short statement posted on Hillary Clinton's Twitter account early Sunday Morning, the former first lady and erstwhile Secretary of State, startled the nation and perhaps the world, not so much because she was ru...
WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday. "We shouldn't be making it harder to vote, we should be makin...
Ah, yes. Elections. The only thing more American than that is a morbidly obese 40 year old drunk man carrying an assault rifle; yelling at immigrants. Boy, we really let our forefathers down. Around 65 people are potential candidates for presiden...
DES MOINES, IA - It was reported today that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie refused to shower with other GOP hopefuls after the 2015 Freedom Summit hosted by Iowa Congressman Steve King. At the annual event several potential presidential candid...
TRENTON, NJ - New Jersey governor Chris Christie says he will run for the Republican nomination in the 2016 presidential election. In a news conference later today, he will endorse what he calls "a monumental piece of legislation". Governor Chr...
WASHINGTON - It has surfaced that Mitt Romney has desire to run again for his third presidential bid. Although he has yet to officially throw his hat into the 2016 mix, sources close to him say that he is excited and has a good feeling about th...
WASHINGTON, D.C.-With Barack Obama winning the women's vote nearly 56% to 44% over his challenger Mitt Romney, Republicans are poised, in 2016, to woo back the women's vote. Their secret plan: To hand out free rape kits to women leading up to and a...
WASHINGTON, D. C. (DP)-Mitt Romney, who died in 2028 at the age of eighty-one while running for president for the seventh time, is poised to give it another shot, advisors to the cryogenically frozen candidate reported today. Close advisors to...
New York City, NY - Donald Trump has announced that he intends to buy the English alphabet and expects the deal to close before the end of September. The purchase could have severe consequences for the other candidates in Trump's current bid for the...
Washington D.C. - The Republican Party released a statement today conceding the 2016 Presidential election to the Democratic Party. GOP Chairman Reince Priebus first released a written statement at 8 a.m. EST, then two hours later spoke at a press co...
Vapor Lock, Virginia - The US government can expect a 100% voter turnout for the 2016 Presidential Election. The reason: Democracy is going digital. America's two surveillance powerhouses - the Central Intelligence Agency and the Nationa...
Mindful of the uproar over his recent comment that Hillary Clinton may have suffered brain damage from a fall back in December, 2012, Karl Rove clarified his position yesterday. According to reps from his office he is merely worried--including con...
Jeb Bush believes he's the only male Republican contender for president who doesn't have vagina envy, and admits he's not very well-versed on the female anatomy, making him a more oafishly appealing candidate to women. "Don't have one, don't want...
Former first daughter Chelsea Clinton has announced her intention to seek the Republican nomination for president in 2016, setting up a potential showdown with her mother Hillary, the heavy favorite among Democrats planning to run. Chelsea, now a...
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