There is breaking news that Arsenal footballer Andrey Arshavin can't survive a tax rate of 50% on his £4million a year salary. Although he earns in a week the equivalent of two nurses' annual salary, it seems that he really can't afford to live on...
There were great celebrations amongst Chelsea fans at the New Wembley stadium yesterday when, after their side had triumphed 2-1 over Everton in the FA Cup Final, it was announced that Guus Hiddink is to marry the club. Hiddink, 62, told reporter...
Brave Everton yesterday suffered a double whammy that has sent shockwaves through the tightly knit gangs that form the community of Merseyside. Despite putting in another amazing FA Cup performance and fighting like two fat birds in a pub car park...
Police have sensationally cancelled this afternoon's FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Everton after it was discovered around 10.30 am this morning that thieves have stolen Wembley Stadium. The theft wasn't discovered until mid morning because the...
Chip shop owners Nationwide were meeting tonight to discuss how best to cope with the anticipated demand in chips from newly promoted Burnley Fans. A Premier League taskforce was also meeting behind closed doors with Balti Pie Kings - Aston Villa...
After her stunning recent entrance onto the world singing stage, and last weekend's qualification for its final, Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle is set to reach an even wider audience after being invited to sing the national anthem at Wembley S...
Paramedics, doctors and other medical experts were rushed into the football stadium in Rome straight after the final whistle to attend to what they thought was an extremely ill Sir Alex Ferguson following Manchester United's defeat at the feet of Bar...
As the post-mortem began this morning on Manchester United's Champions League 'humiliation' by Spanish giants Barcelona, sources close to the club promised a major restructuring to more closely resemble the model and characteristics of their conquero...
The general mood is sombre in the foyer of Del Pizzahuttio, the plush hotel Manchester United chose to stay in for the duration of their visit to Rome for The Champions League Final clash with Barcelona. At the large window next to the main entra...
The miserably slow game of European football is believed to be one of the leading causes of suicide among sport fans around the EU. Morticians throughout the European union claim that most of the corpses that they see died of football related boredom...
It was a night they'd looked forward to with relish and anticipation, an occasion they had dreamed about, and, for some, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience the glory of a Champions League Final, but everything came tumbling down for Manch...
Christiano Ronaldo told reporters tonight that he was hoping he would score a goal in the Man United game against Barcelona despite his self-professed hatred of football. "That's the aim of the game" he told us whilst smearing baby oil into his t...
There was real drama in Rome this afternoon, after supporters of English champions Manchester United discovered, just hours before the kick-off for their Champions League Final showdown with Spanish giants, FC Barcelona, that the venue had dramatica...
Moscow - (ReUterus & Bolshevik Ass Mess): Arsenal defender Philippe Senderos is hopping mad. The AC Milan-loaned footballer is the subject of a Moscow newspaper's paternity slur claiming he successfully impregnanted Vladimir Putin's 'special...
Newcastle United boss Alan Shearer got back down to brass tacks yesterday after his team were relegated at the weekend, and there was some good news for the Geordie, as it was announced that he is to be given the freedom of the city of Hull. Shear...
Drunken daft bastard Nobby Cartwright, a Manchester United fan will have a great deal to live down ahead of the Champions League Final here in Rome today after queueing up for tickets outside 2000 year old amphitheatre, the Colosseum. "We tried to...
Police on Tyneside were out in force last night, as a column of marchers set off from Jarrow to walk to FA headquarters in London to register a complaint on behalf of their beloved and beleaguered Newcastle United. The Magpies, it was, who were r...
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