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Funny satire stories about Sex

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Funny story: Local man Developes The Green Weenie

Local man Developes The Green Weenie

A local man, Claude Davis of Sevierville, Tennessee says he knew he had to get to the doctors in a hurry when he woke up with a green weenie this morning! "Maude come her quick!" "I was getting us some breakfast!" "Look here. I done got the green weenie. It'll fall off and what will we do?" "Oh, let me take a look-see, It was doing real fine last night. It does look green and kinda wri...

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Funny story: Dairy Queen denies "sexism" charges

Dairy Queen denies "sexism" charges

EDINA, MN -- Feminists have charged that Dairy Queen is sexist. The very name of the soft-serve ice cream company, Sheila Battle-Axe, Professor of Women's Studies at the University of Feminist Studies, says, is "insulting to women." "Queen," she p...

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Funny story: The Sixty Second Sex Sensation!

The Sixty Second Sex Sensation!

"It all began one night about a couple years ago and we been fighting ever since", according to what a husband told police in Newark, New Jersey as they had to come to a residence for the third time in three nights. The officer who took care of a...

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Funny story: Newly Married Couple Tell Friends About Their Hot Honeymoon

Newly Married Couple Tell Friends About Their Hot Honeymoon

The Andersons come over to visit the new couple on the block, just back from their Honeymoon. "We're glad you're over here within visiting distance after the four of us being friends now for three years", stated Mr. Anderson. "We're glad to be on this block", stated Henry. "But we had a whale of a honeymoon." "Why, Donna's blushing. Look at that." "Oh there's a lot more to tell and he...

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Funny story: Man Sues Porn Industry for making Sex Boring

Man Sues Porn Industry for making Sex Boring

Dateline: LOS ANGELES--Eduard Garbanzo, a plumber and avid consumer of internet pornography, is suing several top producers of porn for having made sex commonplace and boring. "There's too much nudity on the internet," he protests. "They've satura...

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Funny story: Chris Christie: "I DID NOT have sex with that toll booth!!"

Chris Christie: "I DID NOT have sex with that toll booth!!"

It was an angry and red faced Gov. Chris Christie that took the podium at an early morning press conference today. Christie: "First and foremost I DID NOT have sex with that toll booth! These are lies no doubt started by Democrat scumbags or teachers union scumbags, or any other scumbag rumor mongers who are just trying to scuttle my presidential ambitions." Reporter: "But Governor, there wa...

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Funny story: Awkward Moment Shared at Bikini Espresso Stand

Awkward Moment Shared at Bikini Espresso Stand

VANCOUVER, WA-What was supposed to be a simple coffee purchase turned in to a critical moment in the career of George Blankenship, associate professor of English at Washington State University Vancouver as he exchanged glances with one of his Feminis...

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Funny story: Prostitutes In Pueblo, Colorado Are Reportedly Acceptiing Marijuana In Lieu of Cash

Prostitutes In Pueblo, Colorado Are Reportedly Acceptiing Marijuana In Lieu of Cash

PUEBLO, Colorado - A member of The Pueblo City Council has just informed the public that they've learned that prostitutes working the downtown area of Pueblo have developed a new payment method. It appears that the streetwalkers are now accepting...

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Funny story: Women are not sexual beings

Women are not sexual beings

A well-researched scientific study done by two professors of Rapture Studies at Biola Christian University proves that women have no sexual urges or impulses. In the study, two sets of women between the ages of 18 and 27 served as the control gr...

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Funny story: Huckabee: U.S. Needs Anti-Sex- League

Huckabee: U.S. Needs Anti-Sex- League

The former Governor of Arkansas, Fox News Host, and Fundamentalist Preacher called today for the formation of an Anti-Sex League. Huckabee recently has been in the news for calling for the cessation of birth control prescriptions provided to women b...

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Funny story: Huckabee Wants Chastity Belts For Virginity

Huckabee Wants Chastity Belts For Virginity

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Fox News talk show host has made controversial remarks about female sexuality in the past. Yesterday, Huckabee said on his TV show, "Democrats tell women they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and p...

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Funny story: Woman Claims The Vibrating Feature On Her Cell Phone Turned Her Into A Nymphomaniac

Woman Claims The Vibrating Feature On Her Cell Phone Turned Her Into A Nymphomaniac

YUMA, Arizona - Susie Firkenmeister has said that she has always been an average red-blooded American girl. She commented that during her high school days she was a member of the cheerleading squad, the math club, and president of the student coun...

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Funny story: What Does Rob Pattinson See In Kathy Griffin?

What Does Rob Pattinson See In Kathy Griffin?

HOLLYWOOD - LaLaLand is all abuzz with the recent romantic relationship between Rob Pattinson, 27, and Kathy Griffin, 53. Friends of Pattinson, who is 26 years younger than Griffin, have asked him what in the world he could possibly see in the red...

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Funny story: The Top Ten Quickies!

The Top Ten Quickies!

Following are the Top Ten Quickies from 2013. We hope you find them amusing. 1. I have flabby thighs but at least my big fat belly and huge ass hide them. 2. They say that married men live longer. I think it just SEEMS longer. 3. My favorite machine at the exercise center is the snack machine. 4. I've been on so many blind dates that I should get me a seeing-eye dog. 5. Seldom...

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Funny story: Duck Dynasty Clan to Move to Iran

Duck Dynasty Clan to Move to Iran

Phil Robertson, star of the reality TV show Duck Dynasty, said today that the whole Robertson clan will move to the nation of Iran. "We just think we'll be more comfortable there" he said. "They're not right-wing fundamentalist Christians like us,...

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Funny story: A Sexy Wisconsin Woman Has An Amazing 213 Erogenous Zones

A Sexy Wisconsin Woman Has An Amazing 213 Erogenous Zones

OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Ever since she was in high school Rebecca Waxbuckle of Oshkosh said that she was always extremely popular with the boys. She pointed out that when she went to Johnny Appleseed University in Indianapolis she was voted The Fresh...

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Funny story: Man Hospitalized Following Three-Hour Orgasm

Man Hospitalized Following Three-Hour Orgasm

Local couple Dick and Kittie Cummings found themselves in a sticky situation early Saturday after a morning quickie went horribly wrong. "I reckoned he'd be kind of horny after two weeks at sea, but I wasn't expecting this", said a visibly bloated...

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