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Funny story: New miracle medicines revealed

New miracle medicines revealed

Once there wasn't even a drug to take away the pain of surgery. Today there are drugs that keep people on their feet even when their feet are ridden with severe Cyocosis and their toenails grow inside out. Scientists say that if the progress of medicine continues at the rate it is going now, the life-expectancy of a human being will be 234 by the year 2989. But that is just an estimati...

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Funny story: The exothermics; what the hell do they mean?

The exothermics; what the hell do they mean?

DUNDEE, Ireland -- Again, the question arises: Is Hell exothermic? In other words (and there must be others else you will run for a dictionary), does Hell give off heat or absorb heat? This question has befuddled scientists for decades, their hunger...

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Funny story: Cure for cancer found... through prayer!

Cure for cancer found... through prayer!

BALTIMORE, MD- Years of research on the use of prayer to cure cancer have finally paid off, according to a new study released by scientists at John Hopkins University.

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Funny story: Scientists find 'manager' gene

Scientists find 'manager' gene

(BOSTON) - Scientists have isolated the gene responsible for manager-like behavior, according to a study to be published in next month's Journal of New England Medicine.

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Funny story: Fly fossil in Antarctica changes view of region's history

Fly fossil in Antarctica changes view of region's history

COLDWATER, Alaska -- A tiny fossil of a fly was discovered 300 miles from the South Pole and the discoverers feel this could help scientists figure out what life was like millions of years ago in Antarctica, an area usually covered with snow and ice...

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Funny story: Flawed gene could be cause of common depression

Flawed gene could be cause of common depression

BANGBOOM, Wisconsin -- Scientists say they've identified a flawed gene that seems to promote manic-depression, or bipolar disorder, or BD, or Bi-DO, or Bip Dis. They hope the finding could eventually help guide scientists to new treatments for an all...

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Funny story: Montana: Big Sky State A Fraud

Montana: Big Sky State A Fraud

For over 70 years Montana has bragged on state stationery, on car tags and in advertising campaigns that it has the largest sky in the world. Not so, say scientists working in Idaho and Wyoming. They have determined that, contrary to Monta...

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Funny story: Jackson to auction face

Jackson to auction face

ENCINO (CA) - One day after scientists in Louisville, KY announced plans to perform the world's first full-face transplant, a spokesman for Michael Jackson says the embattled pop star is putting his famous mug on the block for a cool $12M.

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Funny story: Mice brains enlarged, controversy rises

Mice brains enlarged, controversy rises

RIPLEY, Wyoming -- By fiddling with one gene, scientists have discovered they can increase the size of brains in mice. The process, which comes at the expense of the sanity of no less than 34 scientists, is being applauded by some and condemned by ot...

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Funny story: The short die poor and lonely

The short die poor and lonely

In a new government study released today that show new facts that lead scientists to believe that short men and women die poor and lonely. This comes a week after a report showed tall people die younger then others.

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Funny story: Global warming caused by increased activity in Hell

Global warming caused by increased activity in Hell

Scientists at the University of Helsinki claim they have solved the mystery of global warming. A team of forensic diabologists led by the Rev. Dr. Zoltan Fahrenheit found startling evidence that the gradual rise in temperatures around the globe i...

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Funny story: Excretion Bad For you

Excretion Bad For you

Contrary to accepted opinion, scientists at MIT have determined that excretion is not only pointless, it is actually bad for you.

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Funny story: Scientists Discover New Disease Related to Too Much Reality TV Watching

Scientists Discover New Disease Related to Too Much Reality TV Watching

Hollywood, CA Scientists at the Bad Television Institute of the Americas have uncovered a new disease which affects avid Reality-TV watchers. T...

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Funny story: Euro space race is on, Italian's build first pasta spacecraft

Euro space race is on, Italian's build first pasta spacecraft

Yesterday European Scientists successfully conducted a test of the "Phoenix craft". The Phoenix is a German build spacecraft for use in the joint European space shuttle program. In the 90 seconds of flight the craft reached speeds of 450 kilometers p...

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Funny story: Scientist Discovers What Michael Jackson Is, Begins Drinking Heavily

Scientist Discovers What Michael Jackson Is, Begins Drinking Heavily

Toledo, Ohio - Scientists at the National Institute for the Study of Bizarre Androgynous Freaks have completed a seven-month study on pop star Michael Jackson. The results of the study are reported to be too terrifying for words.

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Funny story: Scientists clone Jesus.

Scientists clone Jesus.

The Californian institute for scientific research today revealed that not only had it successfully cloned a human being but that it chose to go for the big one and had cloned Jesus.

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Funny story: Scientists Now Believe Several U.S. Presidents May Have Been White

Scientists Now Believe Several U.S. Presidents May Have Been White

(Bethesda) A group of government scientists, employing new technologies in the field of DNA analysis, have reached the surprising conclusion that at least four and perhaps as many as eight past U.S. Presidents may in fact have been "white guys.

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