A prisoner at HMP Holloway is sueing the Prison Service after giving birth to triplets on her own in her cell. She allegedly pressed her call button to ask for help just after midnight on Wednesday, but the night warder told her she would have to...
A prison inmate has been removed from kitchen duties in HMP Wakefield after causing grievous bodily harm to the pot washer because of mishearing a culinary proverb in his youth. Remembering his mother say "You have to break a few legs to make ome...
LOS ANGELES - Noah Westbunker, warden of The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women, opened the cell door to jail cell #69, and escorted prisoner #362436, aka Lindsay Lohan to the front iron gate and freedom. Warden Westbunker removed Lohan's handcuffs, a...
It might seem to some that poor Lindsay Lohan has been in prison forever - and a day! - but yesterday, the US actress was finally released from jail after serving more than two weeks of a 90-day sentence. Lohan, 24, had entered the all-female Los...
LOS ANGELES - The warden of The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women, Noah Westbunker, has verified the rumor that inmate Lindsay Lohan has in fact become the girlfriend of fellow inmate LaTunga "Da Daddy" Ferguson (#270193). Ferguson is imprisoned on c...
LOS ANGELES - After being incarcerated at L.A.'s Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women for less than a week, the newest prisoner at Zsa Zsa has just been named by her fellow convicts as The Inmate With The Most Luscious Mouth. Warden Noah Westbunker was...
LOS ANGELES - The LAPD working on tips from 139 different anonymous informants have reported that they have uncovered a semi-elaborate plot that would have had Lindsay Lohan escaping from The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women. The female perps who ar...
While her cell isn't posh by any means, Lindsay Lohan does seem to be faring quite well in jail according to the constant stream of visitors who have been to see her since being locked up. Although the rules clearly state that prisoners are only allo...
While self proclaimed father of the year, moral guidepost and empathetic (or pathetic) patriarch of the Lohan family rushed to his daughter's side in court, creating a tear filled, emotional scene that drew attention to himself, Michael Lohan may ha...
Lindsay Lohan is to be released early from prison, and will not serve the full ninety days. Indeed, it has been hinted that due to her disruptive nature behind bars, she may not even see out two weeks. According a source within the prison, Lohan w...
LOS ANGELES - The little lost and misunderstood girl of California, Lindsay Lohan has turned herself into the Lynwood Correctional Institute, whose official name is The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women. Prisoner #362426 showed up on time and had her...
After escaping the vengeance of the US Inland Revenue for many years and totting up tax debts of $13.5 million, they've cashed him at last. Wesley declared: "I've been so busy chasing vampires that I totally forgot to pay my tax bills?" He actu...
The Judge decided to extend Lindsay Lohan's Jail sentence to 6 months with absolutely no chance of parole being presented before the highly feared unquestioned Parole Board. The Judge also decided that Lindsay Lohan should serve all 6 of those mon...
In progressive moves the Coalition Government is moving rapidly to deal with the deficit. In the firing line are the Police, Prisons and Schools. 'Let's face it' said Business Minister, Vince Cable, backed by Minister of Justice Ken Clarke 'we hav...
The military is secretly building a new prison in Guantanamo Bay. This prison will hold terrorists against the wall using magnets, magnets will be installed in the Orange Jumpsuits, guards will then be able at will to operate the magnetic walls to...
Lindsay Lohan is lucky in that she has the benefit of other celebrities' experiences in jail to help prepare her for what to expect when she goes into the slammer. Big names such as Lil' Kim, Paris Hilton, Robert Downey, Jr. and Martha Stewart, yes,...
LOS ANGELES - Shawn Chapman-Holley, who up until today was Lindsay Dee Lohan's attorney, said she had to quit in order to keep from going crazy. Chapman-Holley shook her head and said, "Damn. Ya know y'all dis here Lohan loon sho nuff be one flaky...
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