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Funny story: Vatican hires PR genius Max Cliffhanger

Vatican hires PR genius Max Cliffhanger

Holy C - (Papal Bull****): The legendary PR guru is being offered 'a major cut of the Sunday collection plate' to turn around the tarnished Vatican plc brand. Paedo sleaze, blatant cover-ups and the threat of arrest by hotshot lawyers acting for i...

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Funny story: Get a life Ringo tells the Pope

Get a life Ringo tells the Pope

London - (Robber Soul): "He's a real nowhere man!" Ringo Starr commented today after being told the Pope had un-excommunicated The Beatles, denounced by a prececessor as agents of satan. "He's as blind as he can be, Just sees what he wants to s...

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Funny story: Vatican cover-up as President Kaczynski named Pope John Paul II's natural son

Vatican cover-up as President Kaczynski named Pope John Paul II's natural son

Smolensk - (Pie-in-the-Sky): President Lech Kaczynski, who died in a mystery plane crash at the weekend, was Pope John Paul II's son and a secret protégé of current Pope Joe Ratzinger. Kaczynski, 61, and his monozygotic twin Jaroslaw, 69, had been...

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Funny story: Subo : I want to sing for the Pope

Subo : I want to sing for the Pope

Susan Boyle has announced she wants to sing for the Pope, and that she would like to do a duet with Lady Gaga, how bizarre is that. Pope Benedict was just eating his breakfast Eggs Benedict, when one of his staff advised him that Subo wants to si...

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Funny story: Malta - Phallic art might upset the Pope

Malta - Phallic art might upset the Pope

A row has erupted in Malta, arguably the most Catholic country in the world, over a phallic shaped piece of art created by Paul Vella Critien. The artwork, called Colonna Mediterranea and superficially resembling a giant blue penis, will be seen b...

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Funny story: Ratzinger arrest warrant 'for disgusting George W Bush cover-up'

Ratzinger arrest warrant 'for disgusting George W Bush cover-up'

London - (Holy Shit!!) - A warrant for the arrest of the Pope asserts he colluded in covering-up George W Bush's sordid UK sex escapade career 'on the Queen's orders'. The documents claim Joe Ratzinger 'was shielding his secret Nazi wife' when he...

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Funny story: Pope should be fired first in latest Vatican edict that clergy who concealed abuse should be dismissed

Pope should be fired first in latest Vatican edict that clergy who concealed abuse should be dismissed

THE VATICAN: The powerful head of Italy's bishops has agreed that anybody in the Church who was responsible for mishandling, minimizing or attempting to cover-up the sexual abuse of children should be dismissed. "Let's start with the Pope", said...

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Funny story: Pope French Letter Reignites Abuse Row

Pope French Letter Reignites Abuse Row

Vatican Shitty - (Nasty Ass Mess): A French letter said to have been used by the Pope in 1945 before becoming pontiff is at the core of a new row about the old duffer. The latex Humperdink Jumbo prototype, originally manufactured for German midge...

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Funny story: Pope Denounces Archeological Find

Pope Denounces Archeological Find

His devine holiness the Pope has denounced the latest archeological find from the Middle East. Archeologists were on a dig in Jerusalem when they came across something of global importance. Professor Ziegul Schidt of the Pidgeon Institute in F...

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Funny story: Pope's state visit cancelled as sex romp pics flood internet

Pope's state visit cancelled as sex romp pics flood internet

London - (Holy Cow!): The Missus is livid. Decades of watertight cover-up have failed to stop the publication of Joe Ratzinger's 1945 stag night pics, taken at a Hellfire Club temple on the banks of the Thames. Dozens of images posted on the inte...

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Funny story: Pope Promoting Reality Show

Pope Promoting Reality Show

Kate plus eight did it. D-lister Kathy Griffin is doing it. Sarah Palin is rumored about to do one and Levi Johnston says, "Good idea, grandma!" and will also do a reality show. So the Pope (who may or may not be out of a job soon and in need of a ne...

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Funny story: Jesus Upstaged in Easter Mass by Cardinal Defending Pope

Jesus Upstaged in Easter Mass by Cardinal Defending Pope

For the first time in history, Easter Mass was not about Jesus' resurrection but about the Pope being a great leader of the Catholic Church in spite of many claims of sexual abuse by priests all over the world and the Pope's inefficient handling of t...

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Funny story: Pope Changes Name in Effort to Quell Sex Scandal

Pope Changes Name in Effort to Quell Sex Scandal

Pope Benedict XVI has become Pope Ratzinger I. The Vatican says the name change is a PR effort to distance the pope from covering up or ignoring sexual crimes by Catholic priests around the world. "That was Benedict, for example, who refused to...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict has Eggs Benedict for Breakfast

Pope Benedict has Eggs Benedict for Breakfast

Pope Benedict had Eggs Benedict for breakfast this Easter Sunday, while he thought over how he is going to protect pervert paedophile priests. The Paedophile Priests of Easter past, the Paedophile Priests of Easter future, and the Paedophile Priests...

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Funny story: Pope institutes Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy

Pope institutes Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy

The Vatican. Pope Benedict XVI granted an audience for the press core today to announce a phenomenal change in church policy. There is reportedly over seven billion people in the world and one seventh of those are catholic. Just the catholic...

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Funny story: Pope Spends Holy Weekend Fending Off Hostile Takeover of Church

Pope Spends Holy Weekend Fending Off Hostile Takeover of Church

A large group of German, American and Irish former altar boys, who have become rich by settling their long-standing claims of sexual abuse by members of the Catholic Church clergy, have pooled their money and asked the World Bank to back them in a bi...

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Funny story: Irish National Assets Management Agency to buy Pope's toxic debts

Irish National Assets Management Agency to buy Pope's toxic debts

Shergar, Co Louse - (Altar Buoys): The newly incorporated Irish Bad Ass Bank is to buy the first tranche of $500 million papal bad debts. These are in the form of sub-primate loans taken out to pay off abuse vitims and/or continue doling out hush-...

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