The Amsterdam District Attorney, Hans Leeouenoveck, has subpoenaed His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, in the investigation of the disappearance of Rameses Trojani. "This whole case smells worse than five loaves of bread and two fish. It's more li...
Acting on an anonymous tip, the Dutch Secret Police raided the Carmelite Convent of Saint Amelie with the expectation of rescuing Rameses Trojani. The billionaire creator of the Benedict XVI Condoms has been missing for over a day and foul play is s...
Rameses Trojani, the creator of the controversial Pope Benedict XVI condoms, has vanished from his 16th century castle outside of Antwerp. It was only yesterday that he announced that he was the target of a Vatican fatwa because of his depiction of...
Rameses Trojani, creator and distributor of the controversial Pope Benedict XVI condoms, announced yesterday that he has been receiving death threats and has demanded 24-hour police protection. Herr Trojani, billionaire owner of The Netherlands In...
In a desperate final attempt to save the Catholic church from the wrath of God, the Pope has travelled to Portugal and amidst thousands of his dumb, blind, ignorant, docile followers has asked Fatima for guidance. The Pope realises that there are...
Salisbury - (Sacred Geometry): A Leonardo Davinci-style weeping Queen of Heaven crop circle has just materialised in an oil seed rape field near Stonehenge. Its appearance comes two days ahead of the 13 May anniversary of the first Fatima appariti...
Needing three confirmed miracles to become a saint, a group of 1960's hippies and ex-hippies have sworn that Pope John Paul II helped them levitate the Pentagon in 1969. "He wasn't a pope then but a Polish priest", stated one old-timer, still suck...
Pope Benedict XVI is once again having to fight off criticism after information was 'leaked' implicating the Church in prisoner torture at a secret Baghdad jail. The jail, a former Catholic boarding school, had come under scrutiny by Human Rights...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock had the shock of a lifetime waiting for him last night when he staggered in, exhausted from another extremely hard day at work. Long suffering wife Anne appeared to be unusually excited as she waved a letter at him, en...
The Popes, visit to the UK, proposed for September, has come in for more criticism from Welsh songbird Charlotte Church, who says he should stay in the Vatican, with his staff, not the people who work for him its that pole he carries topped by the Pa...
Rome - (Holy Cow!): The Holy Farter is livid. A UK Foreign Orifice johnny responsible for that terrible, insulting email about the papal visit 'has been shuffled off to another parish' - er, government department! - without so much as a public flogg...
Popular Twilight star-crossed vampyre lovers Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart seem about to make a grand gesture to help the many poor people who have suffered in the recent eruption of icelandic volcano Eyjafjallajökull, according to a source cl...
The Pope is scheduled for a week visit to the UK in September, and in anticipation of the event the editorial staff at the Telephone Mirror published a list of suggested topics for the Pope to address. The topics were sent to press unfiltered as Be...
Spoof writers are today celebrating their successful infiltration of the Foreign Office, culminating in the issuing of a grovelling apology by the UK's ambassador to the Vatican, Francis Campbell. The apology resulted from a hilarious 'background...
The insulted Vatican and their leader have decided to cancel their spiritual trip to the UK. The reason being that the Foreign Office foolishly leaked a memo to the press announcing that a new brand of condom was to be released coinciding with the...
Britain's Foreign Office has apologized for a "foolish" document which suggested the Pope's UK visit could be marked by the launch of "Benedict-branded" condoms. Called "The ideal visit would see...", the paper suggested the Pope be invited to op...
London - (Torquemada): A routine electronic sweep at famous defamation lawyers Finkleshyster & Chutzpah's London office has uncovered an Aladdin's Cave of bugging equipment bearing all the classic hallmarks of a paranoid Vatican snoop. Earlier...
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