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Funny satire stories about Lindsay Lohan

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Funny story: Inmate Blinded By Lindsay Lohan's Arrival: "All I Saw was Orange... and Huge Pontoon-like Duck Lips!"

Inmate Blinded By Lindsay Lohan's Arrival: "All I Saw was Orange... and Huge Pontoon-like Duck Lips!"

An inmate in the Squeaky Fromme Wing of the Los Angeles County Prison is resting comfortably after suffering corneal damage caused by the inmate's exposure to Lindsay Lohan, after the failed human being was jailed for pissing cocaine. "Orange, tha...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Next Diva Performance Act Will Be From Prison

Lindsay Lohan's Next Diva Performance Act Will Be From Prison

LOS ANGELES - It is as if spoiled little rich blonde girls Paris "No Brains" Hilton and Lindsay "No Brains" Lohan are running the Kentucky Derby and trying to see who can get to go to prison the most times. Both bimbo blondes are perfect examples...

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Funny story: Free Political Prisoner Lindsay Lohan: Our Country Is At Stake.

Free Political Prisoner Lindsay Lohan: Our Country Is At Stake.

The phrase "political prisoner" is no longer laminated into the radical mind as it once was. Its slapdash overuse in the 60s and 70s, like the words "genocide" or "fascist pig," has rendered it neuter in today's language. Yet, those that toil under bright sun, or spend 23 hours a day stuffed in the back of a poured-concrete cell --counting the long hours between 1-hour-pardons for exercise-- ar...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan May Be Cut A Break, Because That Worked In The Past.

Lindsay Lohan May Be Cut A Break, Because That Worked In The Past.

Ginger-headed coke-monkey Lindsay Lohan may actually get away with having blood in her cocaine system, because that clearly has worked for her in the past. The second test Lindsay failed was positive for Adderall --a delicious, and legal, meth s...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Gets Vajazzled in Preparation of Lengthy Prison Stay

Lindsay Lohan Gets Vajazzled in Preparation of Lengthy Prison Stay

Lindsay Lohan was spotted coming out of the G-Spot Salon early Tuesday afternoon arm-in-arm with Sam Ronson, and both girls were purring like kittens. The G-Spot is the latest upscale feminine enhancement salon to open in the Los Angeles area and is...

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Funny story: North Korea Offers to take Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and Bimbo to be Named Later

North Korea Offers to take Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and Bimbo to be Named Later

North Korea - Today Kim Jong Il held a very rare press conference to announce an offer to the world. Translated it was roughly this: "Today we ate some oreo cookies for breakfast, very naughty. Ahem, we have a more serious matter to discuss. Day a...

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Funny story: An Arrest Warrant Has Been Issued For Lindsay Lohan - Looks Like It's Back To Jail (Maybe?)

An Arrest Warrant Has Been Issued For Lindsay Lohan - Looks Like It's Back To Jail (Maybe?)

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - It appears that a pair of Hollywood celebs are keeping the California law enforcement departments, the court magistrates, and the prison system pretty darn busy. The two celebs aka blonde airheads Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan s...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan: This Time I Learned My Lesson, Unlike Last Time, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That.

Lindsay Lohan: This Time I Learned My Lesson, Unlike Last Time, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That.

"I have learned my lesson," cried the Number One Skank-burger of the 21st century Lindsay Lohan. "It is so much different for me, unlike the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before...

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Funny story: Dog the Bounty Hunter on Call in Case Lindsay Lohan Jumps Bail

Dog the Bounty Hunter on Call in Case Lindsay Lohan Jumps Bail

Dog the Bounty Hunter, the bail bondsman from Hawaii and sometimes Colorado has been put on high alert that his services may be needed in Los Angeles in case Lindsay Lohan decides to jump bail. Lohan is scheduled to appear in court later this week fo...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Seeks Trial Delay Due to 'Runny Nose!"

Lindsay Lohan Seeks Trial Delay Due to 'Runny Nose!"

Claiming that she's picked up some kind of bug that causes her nose 'to run', wild child Lindsay Lohan is saying she can't show up for her Friday court appearance after testing positive twice for cocaine. Close friends say the train wreck 'celebri...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Admits "Yes, Yes, Big Effen Deal, I Failed My Damn Drug Test!"

Lindsay Lohan Admits "Yes, Yes, Big Effen Deal, I Failed My Damn Drug Test!"

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Lindsay Lohan, who is now being called 'The Girl With 1,000 Chances" has admitted to Fox political commentator Bill O'Reilly that she has in fact failed yet another drug test. O'Reilly giggled as he asked, "What's the matter pret...

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Funny story: Dumbass Lindsay Lohan Fails Multiple Drug Tests: "I don't do cocaine, I just like the smell."

Dumbass Lindsay Lohan Fails Multiple Drug Tests: "I don't do cocaine, I just like the smell."

In the latest incident that proves that this dumbass will never get her sh-t together until she hits rock bottom, pissing-a-promising-career-away dingbat Lindsay Lohan has reportedly failed several drug tests, testing positive for cocaine. "Wait,...

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Funny story: Tyra Banks' "America's Next Top Model" Could Be Heading For Cancelledville

Tyra Banks' "America's Next Top Model" Could Be Heading For Cancelledville

HOLLYWOOD - Tyra Banks' baby America's Next Top Model began its 14th season with an extremely dismal viewership number. The show which features a bevy of beauties competing for the title placed fourth in its time slot. America's Got Talent pulled...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan hidden at Taco Bell

Lindsay Lohan hidden at Taco Bell

Lindsay Lohan,24, was recently reported missing just before her court date that was scheduled 3 days ago. "I figured she just went to a party somewhere. You know, to get her mind off things..." Says her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson. "Although now...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan is a robot

Lindsay Lohan is a robot

San Francisco, California. A prominent Berkely University scientist has claimed today that he has designed and constructed a life size robotic replica of Lindsay Lohan. The replicant moves round entirely independent of any external controls such as w...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan: Adam Lambert Takes My Personal Items

Lindsay Lohan: Adam Lambert Takes My Personal Items

Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan, fresh out of jail and rehab, says that she always has personal items missing when she invites singer Adam Lambert to one of her parties. "I don't mean that I don't like the guy. He's great and fun to be around. But...

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Funny story: President Obama Invites Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan To Visit The White House

President Obama Invites Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan To Visit The White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has stated that he has invited Hollywood celebs Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan to visit him and his wife, the "First Mama" at the White House. The president said that he is really concerned with the way things ha...

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