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Funny story: Bionic Lens Available In 10 Years

Bionic Lens Available In 10 Years

Scientists agree bionic lenses will be available in the next 10 years and commercial concerns are already queuing up to take advantage. Aside from the obvious applications the lens which fits over your eye offers: SatNav directions and assembly instructions, all beamed straight to the eye. Other ideas are now being suggested like: the one from Barnstable's 'Eye Eye Lovely' called an 'X-Ray Eye...

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Funny story: GutCam Presents A Whole New View

GutCam Presents A Whole New View

A new London-based company, InnerTech, is giving people a whole new view of themselves with GutCam. GutCam is a tiny camera inside a transparent pod the size of a baked bean, which the customer swallows. The camera then films the pod's voyage over...

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Funny story: New Mitten Diet Guarantees Weight Loss

New Mitten Diet Guarantees Weight Loss

In an exhaustive study performed in 5 different cities across the U.S. and Canada, Doctors and nutritionists have proven that the constant wearing of winter mittens immediately promotes significant weight loss. Aside from the obvious difficult att...

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Funny story: Sawdust Approved as Food Supplement

Sawdust Approved as Food Supplement

Special to INS - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved sawdust as a food supplement. FDA administrator Constance Twiddle announced that the following varieties are suitable for human consumption: white pine, white birch, and white ash.

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Funny story: Vast majority of dieters wrongly blame hormonal changes for weight re-gain, study

Vast majority of dieters wrongly blame hormonal changes for weight re-gain, study

HARFOLD, Vt.--Some 80% of dieters regain the weight they've lost within a year. According to a study released earlier this week by Harfold State College, some 99.9% of those dieters blame hormonal changes for the return of flab. Coincidently, the...

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Funny story: Surgeon General Demands Disclosure From Tobacco Companies

Surgeon General Demands Disclosure From Tobacco Companies

The Surgeon General has demanded that tobacco companies must now place all of the ingredients that are put in cigarettes onto the individual boxes that the cigarettes come in. This comes after pressure from the US Firefighters Association, when it...

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Funny story: Unileverage Unable To Explain Spike In Sales Of Skin Care Products

Unileverage Unable To Explain Spike In Sales Of Skin Care Products

Global personal care products manufacturer, Unileverage, is at a loss to explain a jump in sales of products from its well known Vasilene range. The increased sales are reported to be very localised and specific to a small number of particular locati...

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Funny story: Scientists Determine that Upwards of 96 Percent of Human Body Mass is Dark Matter and Dark Energy

Scientists Determine that Upwards of 96 Percent of Human Body Mass is Dark Matter and Dark Energy

Gravitational astrophysicists have long-since determined that Dark Energy and Dark Matter must account for over 96% of the mass of the universe, or else their pet theory would fall flat on its face. Pioneering physiologists are now beginning to c...

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Funny story: Sasha Obama's Annual Flu Shot Goes Wrong and Blames Joe Biden

Sasha Obama's Annual Flu Shot Goes Wrong and Blames Joe Biden

WASHINGTON DC - On Friday afternoon, Vice President Joe Biden, also known to Obama's children as Uncle Joe, was the only person available to take the Obama girls to their pediatric appointments. In fact, 'Uncle Joe' usually takes the girls becaus...

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Funny story: University Challenge Takes Centre Stage In Health Cuts Row

University Challenge Takes Centre Stage In Health Cuts Row

A row between the Treasury and health experts over NHS cuts descended into a squabble about TV quiz show University Challenge last night. The row had escalated earlier in the day after a group of health experts published criticisms of the Governme...

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Funny story: Survival of the Fattest - Fitness Experts Mysterious Premature Deaths

Survival of the Fattest - Fitness Experts Mysterious Premature Deaths

A group of scientists working in the Bovril group at the University of Oxford have unearthed evidence that Darwin's mantle of "survival of the fittest" no longer holds as true in today's society. Following a survey of over 3,000 fitness experts, p...

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Funny story: I'm a doctor. You're a doctor. Who's a doctor?

I'm a doctor. You're a doctor. Who's a doctor?

Doctorates A One-Act Play The curtain opens on a group of young students gathering around a rather old man downstage left. They are dressed as though they were from Ancient Greece. The surroundings are rather pastoral. Pupil 1: Tell us another story, Master. Pupils: Oh yes....please.....Yes, yes. A lesson.... Master: Well now....let me see...Ah! Yes! Pupil 2:...

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Funny story: I lost seventeen stone for my kids

I lost seventeen stone for my kids

I was always on the fat side during my teenage years, my mum blamed it on my diet, my dad blamed it on my mum's diet and my doctor blamed my dad for blaming my mum about her diet which he'd put her on. Naturally this was a very confusing time for me. I became very depressed every time I looked in a mirror, so I decided to take steps. I sold the mirror and bought a Big Mac but it just didn'...

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Funny story: Weight Watchers Study Controversy

Weight Watchers Study Controversy

Following a study by the UK Medical Research Council into effective ways to reduce weight, over 300 women feel let down. The MRC took 770 overweight women from Germany, Austria and the UK, sent half to their GP for help and the others were sent t...

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Funny story: NHS is bad for your health, say MPs

NHS is bad for your health, say MPs

Politicians have drawn up drastic plans to reform Britain's National Health Service, after it was revealed that the majority of people in NHS hospitals are sick or dying. MP Herbert Fluffer called it "shocking" and "a disgrace" that the NHS contai...

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Funny story: USA to change economic metric from GDP to Gross Domestic Weight

USA to change economic metric from GDP to Gross Domestic Weight

Under mounting pressure to demonstrate an economic turnaround, the United States Bureau of Labor and Statistics has decided to change the metrics being used to measure economic growth. The principal economic metric will now be the Gross Domestic Weig...

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Funny story: Research shows 100% of Americans will be Anorexic or Obese by 2020

Research shows 100% of Americans will be Anorexic or Obese by 2020

Boston, Mass-- A group of researchers at Boston College recently concluded that 100% of all Americans will either be obese or anorexic by 2020. Lead researcher Dillon Hardwick stated, "I got the idea for the study after I noticed everyone attending...

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