They say that in a socialist state everyone is equal, but some people are more equal than others and the same seems to be true today as all of us now seem to have been set up to bail out the elite monopolising socialist criminals in Wall Street. I...
Fearing the fate of WaMu, Citibank quickly decided to reduce the competition and has obtained permission from Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson allowing Citibank employees temporary permission to eat all the employees of Wachovia bank. After devouring all employees at Wachovia corporate, I asked the Directory of HR for Citibank, "How were they?" "Well, the loan officers were tough and chewy,...
The US Senate is taking its first crack at the Wall Street bailout today. The proposal has been revised to help the middle class and is expected to pass. The biggest change is a measure that will increase the FDIC insurance limit from $100,000 to...
The disastrous economic meltdown started by the sub-prime lending fiasco in America has now spread globally. The United Nations Security Council has met in an emergency session at its New York headquarters and voted that all banks in the world need i...
In an effort to ride the financial storm, the Bradford and Bingley Building Society has decided to change direction. From tomorrow, the building society will no longer have anything to do with savings, finance or buildings and is moving into sell...
Chester Weasley, former Chief Executive Operator of Schiester, Skimim, and Snark, a government bailed out banking and loan institute, was pulled from an unemployment line and tarred and feathered. Mr. Weasley was attempting to collect on his unemploy...
The American Bail Out is just what America needs. A Massive 700 billion dollar attempt to devalue the dollar and create more debt will free up the financial markets of Bankers, so they can continue to engage in risky practices and unethical techniques. Many people think reform and regulation is the answer, not for America, risk and uncertainty only works in this Nation. Capitalism work...
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - George Bush and John McCain revealed on Saturday that their $700 billion dollar banker bailout entails giving one billion dollars to each of the top 700 Wall Street bankers they know. "Sure one billion dollars sounds like...
The hugely popular game of Monopoly has become unplayable after it became the latest victim of the global economic situation, this reporter has learned. A spokesperson for Monopoly listed the various problems that have called a halt to the game:...
The near collapse of the Halifax Building Society this week has had a big effect on bespectacled employee Howard Thingy this week. The employee who was plucked from the obscurity of cashiers desk to become a singing sensation for the many tedious...
Canary Wharf - (Northern Crock Mess): Former trailer-trash jewelery retailer Gerald Ratner is poised to swoop on investment giants Goldman Sachs after the bank's share price nosedived. Ratner, 69, famously caused the bankruptcy of his own eponymou...
HBO's, Britain's largest mortgage lender appeared to be at the end of her rope as US economy tanked once again. As the American government has become the Union of Socialist States in Receivership, Britain's big, big bank looked like a goner, that is...
Lloyds TSB is to merge with the troubled HBOS, creating a banking giant that will hold almost a third of UK customers' savings and mortgages. Economists have reacted by advising investors to immediately withdraw their savings from the new company.
With the recent collapse of Lehman Brothers and the credit crunch McDonalds have decide to combine takeaway food and banking. The idea is that the more junk food that people buy will save them money on purchasing food. This money can then be direc...
In a turnaround of events, a bank in Oxford Street today held up multi-millionaire businessman Sir Richard Branson. Eyewitnesses said that all was normal until he (Sir Richard) reached the front of the queue, when suddenly the bank manager appeare...
Off-the-Wall-Street, NYC - (Ass Mess): Four years after Lemon (sic) Brothers settled their $222.5 million Enron class action involving the underwriting of the fallen energy giant's hidden debt, inflated profits and accounting tricks, the Wall Street...
Lehman Brothers, the fourth largest investment bank in the entire Universe, has filed for bankruptcy protection, tossing a spanner into the capricious works of the galactic financial system. The news led to sharp falls in share prices across the...
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