The Department of Homeland Security is revising the color coded threat warnings that they have been using for a few years to monitor terrorist warning levels. People will no longer have to worry about whether green or orange is worse than blue or red...
Security service chiefs say they have uncovered a plot by well-known terrorist group al-Qaeda to carry out a Royal Wedding bomb attack on the dress due to be worn by Kate Middleton. But, they say, the attack would have proved pointless, as the dress...
It took over 6 centuries for Britain to be universally hated according to apologist PM Dave Cameron, but it was announced today by an independent international Think Tank President Barry Obama's reign only took 14 1/2 months to surpass the Brits...
A top security expert is predicting a return of "The Troubles" in Northern Ireland after it was revealed that two of the bodies overseeing the winding down of paramilitary groups have been dissolved. The Independent International Commission on Dec...
A fresh crisis has hit the troubled coalition Government - an absence of new things to declare war on. Having successfully declared war on terrorism, crime, vandalism, MPs' expenses, old people, young people, babies and Libya the Press Office at Numb...
As last reported, attempts to make Jihad the Chimp give up the location of Osama bin Laden by waterboarding have failed. Alarmed by the non-stop grunting and gesticulations by the hirsute orangutan and fearing that he might create an insurrectio...
Jihad, the simian expatriot from the Orangutan Rehab Center in Sumatra, who was captured while attempting to board a flight from Honolulu to LAX a couple of weeks ago, is now a detainee in the GITMO facility that is presently being used to house dang...
Dear People of America - Just a quick little note to remind everyone just how damn friggin good I am at evading being captured by the barbaric capitalist that have been searching for me for many years. I will give them credit because those dudes have just about looked in every cave in Pakistan and they have not found me (Osama Bin Laden). Well that is because I am not in Pakistan; I am in Missi...
PORTSMOUTH, N.H. - Police and federal agents descended on Smuttybutt Brewery on Heritage Avenue in Portsmouth today, as part of a nationwide sting aimed at apprehending the mostly Egyptian terrorists who have infiltrated a number of regional and nati...
In late-breaking news, the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency has issued orders to have singer Christina Aguilera detained, and proffered for transportation to "Club Guantanimo Bay", for an official interview. This, due to the most suspicious nature...
The UK Government is finally getting tough on terrorists after ASBO's fail. The new laws will give police the power to take "bomb making equipment off terrorist if they believe they are being used anti-social" a spokes man said today. The move...
Public Relation troubles continue for plans on the Muslim 9/11 Bomb Memorial in NYC as the second Imam spokesman for the project was forced to resign after yet more inflammatory statements enraged all New Yorkers, with the exception of the Mayor, Mi...
In an audio tape aired on Al Jazeera television on Monday, al Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden admitted to French President Nicolas Sarkozy of spreading pesticide resistant bed bugs in France. In a message specifically targeting France, al Qaeda chief...
Moscow - (Pie-in-the-Sky): The craft was first seen in Russian airspace at the April 2010 downing of a Tupolev Tu-154 that claimed the lives of the Polish president and his entourage. Last week's reports of its Moscow fly-past were hurriedly withd...
Russia is paying an expensive price after the devolution of its ruthless "Iron Curtain" empire. After being forced into giving independence to most of its satellite states and leaving them in the lurch, many terrorist groups in such countries are...
In the on-going war against terrorism it emerged today that British singer songwriter James Blunt, 53, plays a huge part in hunting down terrorist hideouts and wanted criminals. Colonel Terry Spatchcock of Regiment 113 Division Two explained: '...
Faced with lawsuits from airline passengers and its own employees, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) said today that it will discontinue the use of naked-body scanners at U.S. airports beginning March 2011. Passengers have long co...
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