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Funny satire stories about Scotland

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Funny story: Chancellor sets RBS bonus limits to £350 million per branch manager

Chancellor sets RBS bonus limits to £350 million per branch manager

Chancellor Alastair Darling has announced that the government is limiting bonuses to branch managers of the Royal Bank of Scotland to £350 million each. And that bonuses would no longer be paid in backhanders and foreign holidays with Swiss financier...

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Funny story: Scotland Adopts Prohibition

Scotland Adopts Prohibition

Scotland has decided to adopt radical new alcohol prohibition laws. Under the scheme it will become illegal to serve, sell or drink alcohol anywhere in Scotland apart from on New Year's Eve. The new laws, which come into effect on May 1st 2009, wil...

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Funny story: War declared on Jeremy Clarkson by SBIA

War declared on Jeremy Clarkson by SBIA

Following his description of the Prime Minister as a "one-eyed Scottish idiot", Jeremy Clarkson has had death threats, abusive phone calls, people spitting at him and even Sugarbabes and James Blunt CD's sent directly to his home. The Prime Minist...

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Funny story: "Sack Clarkson" demand Scots

"Sack Clarkson" demand Scots

Scottish MPs have backed the Scottish public in demanding the sacking of Jeremy Clarkson for drawing attention to the fact that Gordon Brown is Scottish. When talking to Australian journalists recently, Clarkson allegedly referred to the British...

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Funny story: Nessie Spotted

Nessie Spotted

Loch Ness - An elderly couple taking a holiday in Northern Europe this month are taking home some memories, and a picture of the Loch Ness Monster, affectionately known as "Nessie." While posing at a scenic area beside the road for picture, Martin...

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Funny story: Scots celebrate Burns Night

Scots celebrate Burns Night

Famous Scots all around the world today celebrated Burns Night, an evening of dwelling on everything that's good about Scotland over huge amounts of whisky, but with no ice or water in it, and eating huge amounts of sheeps' stomachs filled with oats...

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Funny story: Haggisburgers Are Coming

Haggisburgers Are Coming

Glaswegian fast-food magnate, Ronnie MacDonald (no relation), has predicted that his latest culinary invention, the haggisburger, will revolutionise take-away eating throughout the world. "The haggisburger is coming," he declared proudly, "and wil...

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Funny story: Hebrides Hedgehog Cull hits Opposition

Hebrides Hedgehog Cull hits Opposition

Scottish Natural Heritage will continue their cull of hedgehogs in the Outer Hebrides, as they pose a threat to ground-nesting game birds and their eggs. This obviously presents a nusiance factor to the rich and shameless landed gentry who breed...

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Funny story: Scotland Sacked By Scots

Scotland Sacked By Scots

Today, after centuries of unhappiness at Scotland's miserable weather and lifestyle, the country was officially sacked by the Scots. In a scene that could easily have come out of 'Fawlty Towers', millions of people turned out into the streets at the...

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Funny story: Dundee Bus Drivers Run And Tell Their Mummies

Dundee Bus Drivers Run And Tell Their Mummies

In the city of Dundee, in the heart of Central Scotland - a country that is generally seen as one of the most dangerous and violent parts of the planet - local bus drivers today made a complaint about shocking abuse directed towards them. But not fro...

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Funny story: BBC incurs the wrath of the Celts in subtitle row

BBC incurs the wrath of the Celts in subtitle row

The Beeb have been accused of racism by the Scotch and Taffies. A leaked (leeked for the Taffs) document published by the English BBC has shown that all sport interviews with the lesser British Nations will be subtitled as their minority accents a...

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Funny story: Terry Butcher Refuses To Shake Hands With Madonna

Terry Butcher Refuses To Shake Hands With Madonna

Former England defender Terry Butcher, now the Scotland assistant coach, regurgitated his now-famous acrimonious dispute with all things Argentinian last night, but also started a new row at the Scotland v. Argentina game when he refused to shake han...

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Funny story: President Barak Obama declares war on Scotland and John McCain changes his surname to Kennedy just in case.

President Barak Obama declares war on Scotland and John McCain changes his surname to Kennedy just in case.

In an unbelievable amount of time, Barak Obama made his first major decision as President. Totally ignoring the fact that he is not sworn in until January 20th. Declared war on Scotland and gave the Nation 48 hours to surrender or face the wrath of...

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Funny story: Blunkett the Tartan Spartan!

Blunkett the Tartan Spartan!

A politician who paired the wrong teams in last season's CIS Cup semi-final draw will be given a second chance on 12 November. The British Labour Party Politician and his dog 'Ruby' will team up again to make this season's draw. Blunkett announ...

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Funny story: Queen Elizabeths Drunk Cousin in Shock Eviction

Queen Elizabeths Drunk Cousin in Shock Eviction

MSP's called today for the return of the rotten mouldy corpse of Mary Queen of Scots executed on the orders of caring cousin Lizzie in 1587. The Scottish money grabbing drunkard MPs, including Composer James MacMillan and Lib Dem MSP Hugh O'Donnel...

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Funny story: Scottish Crime At Lowest Level Since 1980s

Scottish Crime At Lowest Level Since 1980s

Recorded crime in Scotland has now reached its 'lowest level' for more than 25 years, according to official statistics published today. A report in the Mail In Scotland shows that, whereas crime since 1983 had been committed at a height of nearly...

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Funny story: Global Credit Crunch originated in Carlisle Chippie!

Global Credit Crunch originated in Carlisle Chippie!

Following lengthy investigations, the cause of the Worldwide Credit Crunch has been traced to a chip shop in Carlisle. Its been discovered that the shop's owner, Mongoe Gongoe, has been selling his chips for only 3p per bag with free ketchup! M...

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