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Funny satire stories about Jesus

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Funny story: Jesus Loves You: Everyone Else Thinks You Are An Asshole.

Jesus Loves You: Everyone Else Thinks You Are An Asshole.

The Reverend TJ McCorkle always had thought provoking and sometimes quirky signs in front of his church, The First Church Of God, in Louisburg, NC. The last week in November was, if anything, his most controversial. It read: Jesus Loves You: Everyon...

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Funny story: Patrick Kennedy Says Good Riddance to Eucharist

Patrick Kennedy Says Good Riddance to Eucharist

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - Rep. Patrick Kennedy revealed Sunday that he is "not going to miss Communion at all," and is in fact relieved at the statement issued Sunday by the diocese, Providence Bishop Thomas Tobin, asking Kennedy to stop taking Comm...

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Funny story: Jesus' Miracle Fails to Impress Multitudes at Fire-Ravaged Chuckwagon Cook Off

Jesus' Miracle Fails to Impress Multitudes at Fire-Ravaged Chuckwagon Cook Off

ABILENE, Texas - Jesus answered the prayers of a little girl from Texas after her daddy's wagon caught fire at the Texas Monthly Chuckwagon Cookoff, but the miracle He later performed failed to impress the nearly 5,000 hungry patrons in attendance, a...

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Funny story: Transexual Jesus is not GAY he just likes dressing that way!

Transexual Jesus is not GAY he just likes dressing that way!

The Glasgow Glas-GAY festival has caused massive Christian protests becaust in one GAY PLAY Jesus is depicted as a transexual! Staunch Christians are protesting outside the theatre claiming that gays, transexuals, lesbians, dog-lovers, right to lo...

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Funny story: Local church's Jesus Christ comes down off the cross

Local church's Jesus Christ comes down off the cross

WIXOM, MICHIGAN: Town Officials confirmed last weeks rumor that Jesus Christ did in fact come down off the cross inside Our Ladies of Blessed Mercy church. Tom Meyers, a janitor at the church, was the first to discover Christ missing from the l...

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Funny story: If Jesus had been born in America

If Jesus had been born in America

Bethlehem, Idaho, December 1979 - DFYS were called in by a concerned citizen who noticed that a family was staying in a barn. Upon arrival, they took into care a minor child, Jesus Nazarene, who had been placed in a feeding trough by his mother, Mary Nazarene. The intervention was not without some incident, as the boy's father, Joseph Nazarene attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by...

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Funny story: David Beckham Spotted On Toilet Door In Glasgow Ikea

David Beckham Spotted On Toilet Door In Glasgow Ikea

David Beckham has been spotted on a toilet door in Glasgow. The mysterious bearded face appeared on the toilet door at the city's branch of Ikea. At first people thought it might be Jesus, but then it dawned on locals that the image was of a far grea...

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Funny story: "What kind of Automatic Weapon Would Jesus Carry?" - New NRA Sales Promotion

"What kind of Automatic Weapon Would Jesus Carry?" - New NRA Sales Promotion

The NRA announced today that it is beginning a national sales campaign across American to promote the sales of automatic weapons and hand guns. "Our goal is to sell a weapon of some sort to every man, woman, and child in America over the age of six"...

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Funny story: Jesus (no relation) Budda, infamous Spoofer breaks ranks and barricades himself in!

Jesus (no relation) Budda, infamous Spoofer breaks ranks and barricades himself in!

JB better known as Jesus Budda, alias Chamone, alias PMP, alias Quasimodo amongst others has broken ranks, severed all ties and set up his own forum amongst the Spoof forums, cheeky buggar! JB has built fire-walls, atomic warheads, employed the Pe...

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Funny story: Birthers question Jesus place of birth-demand certificate

Birthers question Jesus place of birth-demand certificate

In a stunning announcement that surely will raise an outcry from many mainstream religeous leaders a spokesman for The Birther movement has isuead a statement that maintains that Jesus was not born in Bethlehem in Jerusalem as has been believed for...

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Funny story: New Evidence: Jesus Crucified for Skipping Out on Last Supper

New Evidence: Jesus Crucified for Skipping Out on Last Supper

Jerusalem - New historical evidence throws a bombshell into the official reason for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. According to Professor Brighton Moorehead of Oxford University ancient records recently discovered in an old stone shoebox in the bas...

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Funny story: Woody Allen turns to Jesus with help from French First Lady

Woody Allen turns to Jesus with help from French First Lady

Carla Bruni, former model, actress and ... singer, now wife of French president Nicolas Sarkozy, therefore First Lady of France, is to star in the next Woody Allen movie. She is to play a heavily-pregnant Virgin Mary. Woody has not completed th...

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Funny story: Arsene Wenger Offered Leading Role In New Mel Gibson Movie - The Passion Of The Christ Part Two

Arsene Wenger Offered Leading Role In New Mel Gibson Movie - The Passion Of The Christ Part Two

It's the hottest ticket in Tinseltown, the role of an ageing redeemer in Mel Gibson's upcoming movie, The Passion Of The Christ Part Two. Gibson has scoured the world in attempt to cast the lead role, until he finally saw his man whilst watching c...

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Funny story: Police Reopen Investigation Into Crucifixion

Police Reopen Investigation Into Crucifixion

The Metropolitan Police today announced that they were reopening their investigation into the "supposed" death of a man over 2000 years ago. This follows certain new evidence being made available to them. The incident has led to numerous theories ove...

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Funny story: Disgraced Jimmy Swaggert To Open "Mr. Jesus Pizza" Throughout The South

Disgraced Jimmy Swaggert To Open "Mr. Jesus Pizza" Throughout The South

Birmingham, Alabama: Disgraced tele-evangelist Jimmy Swaggert has announced taking his ministry in a new direction with the opening of more than 300 "Mr. Jesus, Pizza Shops". "Let's face it, folks just don't go to church anymore, but they do eat t...

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Funny story: Jesus returns, arrested following sermon

Jesus returns, arrested following sermon

LYNCHBURG, Va. - Jesus of Nazareth, AKA the Christ, was arrested by agents from Homeland Security following a Saturday morning sermon preached in this southern Virginia town that is home to Liberty University, founded by the late Baptist minister, Dr...

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Funny story: Jesus, Elvis, Jackson - The three kings

Jesus, Elvis, Jackson - The three kings

Jesus Christ, Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson all had one thing in common they were all called Kings and in every case their fame and notoriety lead to their early deaths. Jesus was crucified by the Romans and Elvis Presley and Michael Jacksons fame led to drug abuse the main factor in their early deaths. Jesus made a blind man see some of the things Elvis did you did not want to hear and...

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