I was driving down Route 94 through Detroit a couple days ago and something that looked like a witch flew out of the shadows and attached itself to my car. "What in the mudder-fried hell?!!!" screamed and thundered through my head. I was scared s...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Rejecting pleas from the Washington Post and New York Times for a sit-down interview, Hillary Clinton agreed to an in-depth interview with Dr. Billingsgate with no ground rules except that Dr. Billingsgate wear a pant suit that do...
Hillary Clinton's day of campaigning came to an abrupt end when her pants suddenly and inexplicably caught fire. "Why does this keep happening?" screamed the presidential candidate as her aids applied the contents of a fire extinguisher upon her tro...
In breaking news yesterday, FBI Director James Comey has cleared Ms. Clinton of nothing more than "extreme carelessness" in compromising national security with her private email server. That she also misled investigators and the country in denying...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Laurel and Hardy? The Three Stooges? Abbott and Costello? W.C. Fields? Count em. Add them up. You get the F8I (F..cking 8 Idiots). Individually and collectively, they still weren't as inexplicably stupid as FBI Director Jam...
Last week's 3-1/2 hour FBI interview re Hillary Clinton's handling of State Department emails drew front page headlines nationwide. However, what if the FBI and Hillary already know that no crime was committed because she never disseminated any e...
DALLAS - Emboldened by Great Britain's decision to exit the European Union, the Texas legislature is gearing up to consider a bill that would allow the Lone Star State to exit the United States. Texas State Sen. Adam Philbin said the bill, calling...
Indianapolis, IN - Doctors here at the Indianapolis State Medical Center have diagnosed the first man with a mental disorder they are calling: "Compulsively Speaking Your Mind With No Pretense Then Quickly Changing It So As Not To Disrupt the Sensiti...
With Hillary Clinton as the presumptive nominee for the Democrats, some Bernie Sanders supporters are now executing their Occupy Walmart strategy in a last ditch effort to win Sanders the nomination. Nearly 40,000 Occupy volunteers will protest an...
Hillary Clinton ignited a twitter storm for using the expression "going south" when she described Donald Trump's business failures. Clinton was critiquing Trump's proposal to turn the southwestern US in to a giant golf course. Clinton immediately...
Proving Donald Trump's political acumen once again, ISIS has been on the run ever since president Obama uttered the phrase "radical islamists." Political analysts are saying it was just a coincidence that Obama gave a speech where he mentioned t...
Shadow Lanes Senior Center - George Bush Senior announced today that in the Presidential election he would be voting for tapioca pudding. "I believe tapioca pudding can protect us from dust-bunny attacks." Stated Bush. "According to my magic belly...
Hillary Clinton celebrated her clinching of the Democratic Nomination for president by holding a massive bonfire for her supporters last weekend. According to those present at the bonfire Clinton and her supporters eagerly burned her email server whi...
Washington DC - Calling America's "shameful history of discrimination against the totally deranged" an "ugly blotch on our nation that we are still to this day scrubbing out," Hillary Clinton today warned that the events in Orlando, "while tragic, p...
BILLINGSGATE POST: One of Bill Clinton's old screen scratchers reveals that she began sleeping with Bill after high school and that their affair didn't end until he moved into the White House. What is a screen scratcher? Commander Nelson, who co...
"Hi, I'm Bernie Sanders, you can call me Bernie. So, I've got several models here that might interest you, but first, tell me what you can afford. Thirteen thousand dollars? For a new car? I don't think so. A new all-electric vehicle would cost a lot more than that. I have a used Prius on the lot and I think I can talk my manager down to letting it go for thirteen five. But you gotta be careful wi...
Hillary Clinton has just locked up the democratic nomination for president this fall, making it official that Americans will be forced to chose between electing her or Donald Trump as our next President. Antidepressant sales have soared over 1000% in...
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