In early results it is clear that the pundits have been wrong. Neither the Labour Party, nor the Conservatives have done as well as expected, with the parties getting 4 and 6 percent of the vote respectively. The clear winner has been the Apathy...
An old crow launched an anti-European campaign from a tree in Little Twiglett-by-the-Nest today, and was soon joined by a blackbird, a starling, and three barn owls. The crow cawed: 'It's the 21st. century, I regularly fly to France to get my worm...
Wellington, NZ - New Zealanders are celebrating after the announcement yesterday that they have been accepted into the European Union. New Zealand is the actual furtherest from Europe that a country can possibly be, but officials overlooked this sma...
Brussels, Belgium. A report has leaked out from the office of Giorgio Borrasa, European Commissioner for Continental Insecurity, a top secret office inspired by the Department of Homeland Insecurity in the land of the unfree and home of the afraid.
European leaders in Berlin have agreed on the need to regulate all grumpiness, including morose dourness. German Chancellor Angela Merkel highlighted that leaders face an 'extraordinary grumpy crisis', and a 'near-suicidal moroseness, that's enoug...
ISLAMABAD - A freshly-shaven and widely beaming Asif Ali Zardari hosted a dinner for the international media at one of his many sumptuous London mansions and announced: "I'm proud to say that my son Bilawal Bhutto, Pak Prez-in-training is contesting...
Thousands of innocent people have been building snowmen during the current artic weather unaware that they have been breaking the law by only building snowMEN. Euro MP, the Rt. Hon. Norma Snockers MEP, has highlighted the UK's flagrant disregard f...
Google Earth has enabled many onlookers to get googlely eyed about the earth. Giles Cocknbull used Google earth to watch his girlfriend Hortensia mow the lawn of her neighbor, Bull Meacham. Virtual hikes of the Grand canyon, make believe climbs of Ev...
Following the comments made on an old video made by Prince Harry, while serving in the British Army as a cadet Officer at Sandhurst, the word 'Chocolate' is now considered to be TOO offensive by the European Union. Do-gooders in Brussels have said; "...
In a move designed to promote health and hygeine the EU have announced that from April 2009 all toilet paper will be printed with instructions urging users to fit toilet paper so that it rolls off the FRONT of the roll rather than the back. Spoke...
The Czech Republic marked the start of its six-month term of the European Union presidency on January 1st 2009 with its deputy Prime Minister in charge of EU affairs, Alexander Armadildo, announcing he intends to enforce a prohibition on professional...
China has lodged a 'velly strong protest' against France over Saturday's ultra-secret meeting in Poland between the French president Nicknack Teakozy and the Dalai Lama. Beijing's Deputy Foreign Minister, FeFi Fo Fum, summoned the French ambassad...
Brussels, Belgium - The European Commission has issued its much-anticipated guidelines regulating the health and safety of transporting illegal immigrants into the EU and between member countries. EC spokesperson, Noah Passaporta explained the...
Robert Kilroy-Silk, the former TV presenter and modern-day Member of the European Parliament (MEP), has become the first contestant to be voted out of the ITV jungle show Im A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. The MEP is thought to have been the vict...
To give Neil Kinnock his due, he has worked tirelessly on behalf of British farmers for the past twenty years to overturn the EU directive that disallows the sale of knobbly carrots and bent cucumbers. Since the introduction of EU Directive 1677/8...
The number of asinine extradition cases being dealt with in UK courts has reached record levels, fuelled by the number of 'trivial' requests from around the World that have pissed police authorities right off and clogged up an already pathetic and da...
Brussels Belgium, September 7, 2008: Member countries of the European Union (EU) and NATO awoke this morning to a Russian surprise. Premier Vladimir Putin had said "he would not use military force to counter NATO ships in the Black Sea, but other mea...
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