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Funny satire stories about Drugs

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Funny story: Home office gets tough on junkies at last

Home office gets tough on junkies at last

Following the governments success in promoting awareness of the symptoms of strokes, they now want to use the same strategy to round up heroin addicts. "To spot the signs of heroin addiction, you have to think and act FAST. Do they really need mon...

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Funny story: Every British taxpayer is involved with illegal drugs

Every British taxpayer is involved with illegal drugs

If you are a taxpayer in England and you think you are squeaky clean when it comes to illegal drugs etc., think again! Apparently, some of your tax monies are helping pay for methadone or other heroine substitutes for inmates in the prison system. Hey! They have 'rights' too you know! Poor babies! "The report by independent think-tank Policy Exchange warned that by next year 73,000 priso...

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Funny story: Millions remember Dennis Hopper by watching "Easy Rider" high

Millions remember Dennis Hopper by watching "Easy Rider" high

VENICE, CALIFORNIA-Among the tributes pouring in for recently-deceased countercultural film icon Dennis Hopper, is one those close to him say he would have appreciated more than anything: watching Hopper's award-winning Easy Rider whilst in a sta...

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Funny story: Mary Poppins Held On Drug Charges

Mary Poppins Held On Drug Charges

Mary Poppins, the famous nanny, was once again being held at Paddington Green police station on suspicion of possession of illegal drugs, with intent to supply. Poppins, 82 who was immortalised in the 1964 film Mary Poppins, as portrayed by Julie...

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Funny story: Chinese organised crime in Bulgarian cellphone numerology shocker!

Chinese organised crime in Bulgarian cellphone numerology shocker!

Sofia, Bulgaria - (Spooky Mess): Bulgarian telecom giant (sic) Mob-I-Tell has suspended a 'cherished' cellphone number following complaints that every owner/user in the last decade has died in horrible circumstances. The much prized 0888 888 888 d...

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Funny story: Bob Marley condemns Kingston Town raids and asks Jamaicans to protect their "Drug Lord"

Bob Marley condemns Kingston Town raids and asks Jamaicans to protect their "Drug Lord"

Bob Marley has been speaking from his lofty heights in the Rastafari heavens about the police raids on his hometown and has condemned 'dem, mon'! Sitting next to the Emperor Haeli Selassie, Bob, speaking through a Rasta medium called Jerkitup Join...

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Funny story: Calderone Addresses Congress in Spanish saying "me cago en la hostia" to Standing Ovation from Dems!

Calderone Addresses Congress in Spanish saying "me cago en la hostia" to Standing Ovation from Dems!

Mexican President Felipe Calderon, head of the dysfunctional, anarchist country to the south of the US borders of California, Texas and Arizona, lectured the US Congress today, calling his neighbors 'Gilipayas' (Bastards) and in no uncertain terms sa...

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Funny story: Inner-City Ice Cream Truck Actually Sells Ice Cream, Cones

Inner-City Ice Cream Truck Actually Sells Ice Cream, Cones

Philadelphia, PA - Crack-heads surrounding North Philadelphia's Diamond Street were terribly dismayed yesterday after discovering that their usual ice cream truck full of crack was actually selling ice cream. "It be bullshit," said Derrick Thomas,...

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Funny story: Merck Releases New Flinstones-Shaped Vicodin

Merck Releases New Flinstones-Shaped Vicodin

The pharmaceutical giant, Merck & Co., has just released a fun new shape of Vicodin in the form of your favorite "Flintstones" characters. "It's an exciting day," said Merck spokesman, Jonathan Sanders, "We are the second largest pharmaceutica...

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Funny story: Kids' Medications Recalled, Kiddie Rehab Booms

Kids' Medications Recalled, Kiddie Rehab Booms

The recent recall of an assortment of drugs (many of them pain medications) for children means that a lot of babies and kids have been suddenly forced to deal with their addiction problems. Not wanting to go cold turkey, they are seeking other alte...

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Funny story: Michael Douglas blames fame for Cameron 'Screwups'

Michael Douglas blames fame for Cameron 'Screwups'

Michael Douglas blames fame for Cameron 'Screwups' not that David Cameron him that's due to become Prime Minister of the UK, its Michael Douglas's son Cameron. Douglas has said that fame in the family and the many drug and alcohol abusers have had...

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Funny story: Pfizzier unveil new wonder drug

Pfizzier unveil new wonder drug

Multinational drug giant Pfizzier have been searching for the next big drug, and believe that they have found it. The new drug, with the chemical name Codafil-dioxymethyl, is due to go on sale after extensive trials have proven it safe and effect...

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Funny story: Meow Meow ban comes into force in UK

Meow Meow ban comes into force in UK

A ban on caterwauling has come into force across the UK. Legislation placing the ghastly cat scream and other related noises in the Class B category alongside barking and dolphin clicking was rushed through Parliament. The government's noise pollu...

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Funny story: BNP to legalise 'British' drugs

BNP to legalise 'British' drugs

In an improbable turn of events, I can exclusively reveal that the British Nasty Party plans to legalise 'all those recreational substances which are native to the British Isles'. Under these radical plans, some drugs currently listed as class A,...

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Funny story: NRA Ships Mexican Drug Cartel Massive Arms Aid To Help Them Get Their 'Freedom'

NRA Ships Mexican Drug Cartel Massive Arms Aid To Help Them Get Their 'Freedom'

The NRA (National Rifle Association), ever at hand to aid the munitionally deprived, is running to the aid of drug cartels in Northern Mexico. Noting that they are in need of arms and ammunition, they immediately sent down several truckloads of suppl...

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Funny story: Glasgow Patter: The Big Hoose

Glasgow Patter: The Big Hoose

On a visit to Glasgow try and stay in the City Centre and don't explore some of the way out housing schemes, where drugs, and gang warfare, are rife. There are even some areas where all that matters is whether you are a Catholic, or a Protestant,...

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Funny story: Obama Proposes Legalization of Marijuana/Criminalization of Hemp

Obama Proposes Legalization of Marijuana/Criminalization of Hemp

In a surprise reversal of Administration drug policy, President Obama announced at a White House press briefing today that he is proposing legislation to declassify marijuana as a Class I Controlled Substance and make it legal both to possess and gro...

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