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Funny story: Women Killed as Car Hits Tree

Women Killed as Car Hits Tree

A 78 year old Birmingham woman was killed yesterday when her car hit a tree off the A34 near Handsworth. Emily Handlebar-Smythe, a retired baker, was on her way home having spent a leisurely afternoon picking Raspberry's at Mr. Shwaddy McMuckMuck...

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Funny story: Mean Mr Mustard, of Beatle's song fame, dies at 96

Mean Mr Mustard, of Beatle's song fame, dies at 96

Mean Mr. Mustard, made famous in the Beatles song of the same name, died yesterday at the age of 96 of complications of pneumonia. Mustard has been sleeping in the park lately for the past 50 years and that may have contributed to his illness, source...

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Funny story: Mad Pieman Responsible for Louisiana Blackbird Kill, Mystery Finally Solved

Mad Pieman Responsible for Louisiana Blackbird Kill, Mystery Finally Solved

After weeks of investigating the sudden death of thousands of blackbirds that had fallen from the sky after the New Year in the state of Louisiana, it was discovered that the cause of their death was due to a mad pieman who lived in the area. Th...

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Funny story: New social network site launched that will be even bigger than Facebook

New social network site launched that will be even bigger than Facebook

A new social network site that will be bigger than even the biggest of the existing biggest social network sites (possibly even bigger again than that!) has been announced today by its owner and developer, the late Mark Succkasweet. "Deadbook" ha...

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Funny story: Britain to reintroduce death penalty

Britain to reintroduce death penalty

In a back to basics policy change David Cameron, Prime Minister, announced today the return of the death penalty in Great Britain. "To be fair the death penalty never came off the statute books", he said, "we are just extending the penalties where...

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Funny story: Grandma dies of heart attack after penis pictures appear on iPhone

Grandma dies of heart attack after penis pictures appear on iPhone

An 85year old Seattle area grandmother died of a heart attack Tuesday after receiving an anonymous email of an erect penis. Family members say they bought her the new phone after she accidentally flushed hers down the toilet during a family party.

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Funny story: Peter Fonda corpse mystery deepens

Peter Fonda corpse mystery deepens

Los Angeles - (Airbags): Just what's wrong with the people of Sunset Boulevard that a man, dead at the wheel of his car, goes unnoticed for three whole days? "It's not like he, er, died from boredom in a traffic jam," a LAPD patrolman admitted aft...

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Funny story: Even MORE causes for premature death and heart disease - experts claim

Even MORE causes for premature death and heart disease - experts claim

The risk of heart disease and premature death from any cause doubled for those spending more than fours hours a day glued to a screen, it was claimed. This is very troublesome as the readers of this article will most likely have to put themselves into that risk factor group. All the fun is being taken away from life. One wonders why we should bother living at all. We can't EAT what we wan...

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Funny story: Dead: Anne Francis, Who Stars In Forbidden Planet, At the Late Night Double Feature Picture Show

Dead: Anne Francis, Who Stars In Forbidden Planet, At the Late Night Double Feature Picture Show

Fossilized actress Anne Francis, who was the love interest in the 1950s science-fiction classic "Forbidden Planet" and later was a sexy private eye in "Honey West" on TV, has died at age 80. Isn't That The Lyrics to... How Lazy!! Shhhhhhh! I reme...

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Funny story: Advance Care Planning Initiative Kills Trees Not People

Advance Care Planning Initiative Kills Trees Not People

The debate over whether advance care planning is actually another way to describe death panels is rearing its ugly head again since regulation started January 1st. The few folks who are still fuzzy on exactly what the intent of the regulation is are claiming that it will cause some folks who are facing some tough decisions, such as whether or not to continue life-sustaining treatment, to just say...

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Funny story: Grave Problem for Funeral Directors

Grave Problem for Funeral Directors

Severus Slice, Vice President of the assembled Funeral Directors at their Annual Conference in Hull, had grim news for his audience. 'People are going to be living far too long,' he advised the worried throng. 'Some of us are bound to go under. I...

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Funny story: Christmas Miracle Brazilian Woman Mary Buried Alive Saved then Redies

Christmas Miracle Brazilian Woman Mary Buried Alive Saved then Redies

Thank God for health care reform. 88 year old Brazilian woman Maria das Dores has had quite an eventful Christmas 2010. Maria das Dores was admitted to the hospital in Ipatinga, Brazil suffering from blocked arteries and Alzheimer's disease. Accordin...

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Funny story: Readers' Problems Answered III

Readers' Problems Answered III

DON'T SUFFER IN SILENCE! DON'T BOTTLE IT UP! LET IT ALL OUT! "Readers Problems Answered" Is Here To Help With This Week's Guest Editor: Irish Novelist, Short Fiction Writer and Postmodernist Dramatist SAMUEL BECKETT Samuel Beckett didn't bottle things up, certainly not when it came to writing all those novels, such as Molloy, Watt, and The Unnamable; shorter prose works like Imagi...

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Funny story: MI5 Contracts Victoria Beckham to Produce Accessory "Spy Inna Bag" Wheeled Carryall!

MI5 Contracts Victoria Beckham to Produce Accessory "Spy Inna Bag" Wheeled Carryall!

Following close on the heels of a sell out of her new line of handbags, starting at $1,500 and topping out at $25,000, a spokesman for Victoria at "Beckham's Bags" announced today a new government contract for a wheeled version of "The Get Away", s...

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Funny story: Hollywood Archeologists Shocked After Discovering 'Mummy Hef" Alive in Playboy Mansion!

Hollywood Archeologists Shocked After Discovering 'Mummy Hef" Alive in Playboy Mansion!

Archeologists doing research for the History Channel's newest reality show, "Sex After Death', were shocked to find the Pajama Wrapped remains of Playboy Mogul Hugh Hefner still kicking around the Hollywood Mansion and preparing for his latest weddin...

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Funny story: Crematorium Attendants Monthly

Crematorium Attendants Monthly

Hello! And welcome the Christmas edition of our magazine. In this issue, we will be looking at the gas bill and how to reduce it by using a wood burner when business is slow. How to decorate a lamp shade with toe nails and what to do with the left over nuts and bolts. Harry Burnice, attendant at Crowther crem has offered to cook your turkeys if your oven is a bit small. He only has roo...

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Funny story: Children Found to be World's Greatest Cause of Death

Children Found to be World's Greatest Cause of Death

They are cute. They are cuddly. They drain your energy and finances. They are children and, according to researchers at the Fresno University of Nanite, Kinesiology, and Youth Studies, they are, directly and indirectly, the leading cause of death wor...

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