London - A flotilla of search and rescue vessels moored on the Thames has done little to rescue the marooned Mayoral re-election wannabe. Supporters of Red Ken Livingstone say Boris Johnson's prospects are up the proverbial sh*t creek without a pa...
In a move to improve the Tory image, senior Conservatives are preparing the ground for Boris Johnson to take over from David Cameron whether he remains London Mayor or not. 'This will get us away from the Toff image of priveliged public school twi...
London Underground have chosen a Tourette's syndrome sufferer to voice all their station and train announcements throughout the two weeks of this year's Summer Olympics. In conjunction with the London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games (LOC...
London - Islington residents Russell and Ivy Bong's dreams of riding the newly resurrected hop-on/hop-off Routemaster to their ruby wedding piss-up in Dalston took a heavy blow tonight. The Balls Pond Road couple first tied the knot in 1972 after...
Cartoonish London Mayor and stereotyped upper class twat Boris Johnson has expressed his delight that plans for the London 2012 Olympics to turn into a mess of epic proportions are 'Right on Schedule'. Speaking to the press outside a heavily conge...
Boris Johnson, the weirdly haired loon who runs London, has accused esteemed BBC political frontman Sir Andrew Neil of touching him inappropriately. Boris, who is currently in Davos deliberating with fellow strangefellows, has told Abu Dhabi-finan...
Hot off the press, news has reached us that London Mayor, Boris 'Frightwig' Johnson is to play a major role in the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games this year, to be held in the capital city. Having long been an advocate to bring the games to...
Fab Mayor of London, privileged public school chappie and self-appointed saviour of the world, Boris Johnson, has called British youth a bunch of lazy buggars! He is determined to offer every available job to foreigners who have not quite the s...
Following the refusal of the British Aviation Authority to rename Heathrow or Gatwick airports after him, London Mayor, Boris Johnson has renewed his attempts to open a new international airport in the Thames estuary, between Lancashire and Cumbria,...
London - Another bottle blonde has proved to be a DNA match for Jimmy Savile's love child. Peroxide bombshell and London Mayor Boris Johnson joins newly discovered 'sister' Georgina Ray, 40, as the deceased entertainer's secret spawn. The newly...
Greater Manchester Police were left reeling and feeling out of pocket this week when they received an eight thousand pounds charge for crossing the emissions zone in London during the London riots. "We were shocked," said Chief of Police, Henry Ho...
Boris Johnson, Mayor of London has claimed that the London Riots could have been a lot worse if it wasn't for the congestion charge. "Look here, although thousands of bloody "chavs" took to the streets most of the streets were actually clear of t...
Hot on the heels of the recent unrest in London, it has been reported that riots have now spread to Dublin. There were rumours last night that up to 3 pints of Guinness had been spilled in the past two hours in the centre of Dublin, and Irish Prim...
After the shock announcement from London Underground this weekend that its shedding 13 of its 51 Directors, Train Operators around the country are fighting to be first to say that they are following London's lead... like we do in everything else.
Labrador with a human face, Boris Johnson has rejected calls for corruption charges to be bought against him. 'Gosh, crikey, phwoar, what will David say?' said the outspoken Blonde when faced with questions regarding the choice of breakfast cerea...
Mayor of London Boris Johnson is to join the Labour Party in a bid to distance himself from David Cameron's Conservative Government. Following recent clashes between the two, Johnson has decided that he would stand more chance of being re-elected as...
It is a big day today for all the young students in Scotland. Exam fever has taken over as they begin their "Highers". That's not quite an "A" level but then Scotland always has to be different. Imagine thousands of nervous students opening their...
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