After deciding to call the new football bowl game in Lexington, Kentucky The Horsehead Bowl, TheSpoof has collected the runner-ups:
12. The Shirts/Skins Bowl
11. The Rush LimBowl
10. The Manute Bowl
9. The Luke Duke $ Bowl
8. The Balls Cup Bowl
7. The Vince Lombardi Ashes Bowl
6. The Racehorse Old Stew Bowl
5. The Steroid Ass-Shot Bowl
4. The Thundercup Chamberpot...
12. Every single shopper at WallyMart: Skinny as a rail!
11. You hear footsteps on the street behind you but when you turn around, not only is no one there but something gooses you in the ass!
10. Every station on the radio has Alice Cooper as it's host.
9. Complete quiet at the local library except occassional cry of "BRAINS!"
8. When interviewing for a job at Micky D's, the boss man...
12. There's a lot or Rrrrrrr's in his speech: "What say we go to Arrrrrrrby's tonight?"
11. Orders pizza and runs to pay for it from "me bounty".
10. Just before you jump from the high dive, you thought you felt the end of a cutlass upon your back.
9. "Let's take arrrr food out of the kitchen and eat on the poopdeck."
8. Even the slightest breeze seems to shiver his timbers.
Top 12 Acronyms You Might Want To Avoid In The Personal Ads:
12. NQACARO (Not quite as cute as Rosie O'Donnell)
11. POTRPFC (President of the Roman Polanski Fan Club)
10. GTBWWW (Got that Bush way with words)
9. MMM (Macarena! Macarena! Macarena!)
8. FCWGGTPIHF) Former clown with great gags to pull, including his finger)
7. SBWTSE (Susan Boyle Without The Sexy Eyebrows)
Although not a bad musician among them, these guys need, or needed, a name change in order to get a bigger audience:
13. Little "Red-Nosed" Johnson
12. Howie "TB Hocker" Jefferson
11. Big Harry The Pianist
10. Alex "The Booger-Woogie" Flinger
9. Barney "Stinky Ass" Baldwin
8. Henry "Happy-Go-Lucky" Sunshine
7. Al "Polar Ice Melting" Gore
6. Andy "The Root Cellar" Crackh...
1. Asian ladies know that they are superior to mere men in all facets of life and expect to be treated accordingly.
2. Asian ladies do not want equality; they demand control.
3. Asian ladies have femininity in spades. They know all the tricks and enjoy using them. A passing smile can reduce a man to a blithering idiot in nanoseconds.
4. Asian ladies pay a lot of attention to their appeara...
* Antibiotics don't work anymore, with the swine flu and advanced bacteria.
* The internet is so lag-filled that it's quicker carving your calculations.
* Horse-drawn carts are cheaper to run than wormholes.
* The Spoof! is making satirical articles that madden people in living in caves.
* There are so many enviromental laws we have to live in caves to obey them.
* People are becoming so para...
17. You walk by and notice that the other side of the "Closed" sign also says "Closed".
16. Photograph of Bank Founder on the wall that of Milburn Drysdale.
15. Sign by coffee says Free Coffee, (Foam cups $1 each)
14. Your free set of Matlock Episodes for opening a new account of $1,000 or more are on copied WalMart discs.
13. FDIC stands for "Food, Drink In Cooler", have a coke.
Ten Reasons Why Western Women Are Better Than Asian Ladies
1. Western women recognize your drinking problem as their key to getting laid.
2. Western women make blindness seem less of a handicap.
3. Western women can shove the car home when it breaks down.
4. Western women can slap you into submission without using their hands (Thanks to the S n' M crowd for that one).
5. You can s...
You think an SUV might be too small to be safe.
It takes more than four minutes to get out of your car.
When backing into a parking spot, you just back up until you hear a little crunch.
It scares other drivers when you drive the speed limit.
The only thing you pass on the road is the Amish.
You use cruise control because your leg, if you have one, fell asleep.
You use crui...
20. Painting the town Black & White
19. Barn Loft Bungie Jumps
18. First To Churn Their Butter
17. Reshaping elder's beard while he sleeps
16. Going Bonnetless from buggy while throwing beads
15. Buttermilk Chug-A-Lugs
14. Bucket of horse piss over barn doors
13. Horse Apple Fight
12. Sporting "Born To Raise Barns" Tee Shirts
11. Pulling A Skinny Dippin' All-Nighter...
CHOTEAU, Montana - The 61-year-old host of The Late Show with David Letterman has married his longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko, 48.
The newlyweds exchanged vows on March 19, at the Teton County Courthouse in Choteau, Montana, a small town of about 1,700 residents northwest of Great Falls.
Choteau is noted for three things, nothing, nothing, and nothing.
Last November someone stole the to...
As cheesy, niceguy politicians like Barack Obama and Tony Blair, and even Gordon Brown, become more and more common, an antidote to the nausea they are creating was brought out today by the music industry - a CD, 'Ten Songs Of Hate', and this is the track listing:
* 'All You Need Is Hate', The Beatles
* ''Put Out My Fire With A Rusty Old Fire Extinguisher', The Doors
* ''Wintertime In T...
You *can* get blood from a turnip. Some of nation's biggest doners come from the South.
The character of Mr. Bill was created when Walter William's grandfather rolled over his toy Gumby with his wheelchair and little William shouted "Oh Shit!". He later change "Shit!" to "No!"
Approximately one-tenth or a tithe of your life is spent trying to remember something.
The skin on the average...
1)"Madonna's Body Sublime Workout Book". You too can look fit, stringy and packed with muscle with the "singer's" 4-hour-a-day-workout plan.
2)"The John Cleese Book of String". A complete history of twine, string and rope from the ex-funny ex-Python.
3)"PUSH!..Huw Edwards' Book of Childbirth". Pain-free advice from the "News at Ten" anchor-man.
4)"Piers Morgan is a Cult". Second week in c...
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
1. Willie Watson, on April 13th, 1864, became the first person to fly across the Mississippi River after a freak cannonball incident that stunned both the Union & Confederate Armies that day.
2. Some rhesus monkeys can have sex up to ten times a day if the female of the species is wearing fishnet stockings.
3. Passing gas while standing at the top of Mount Everest can break both ass chee...
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