Reports were released today that the Obama administration, working in cooperation with Congressional Republicans, will introduce legislation to put stimulus money to work and get the economy moving again. Citing the need for well staffed death panels...
Washington, DC - President Obama is scheduled to give a speech this week to prisoners incarcerated across the US. The speech will be broadcast live to every medium- and high-security facility in the continental United States. The topics of the sp...
If you've feared Obama Care you now have very good reason. The nearly unreadable, one thousand page plus bill has finally been deciphered by cryptographers for the Congressional Budget office. Their startling conclusion: It's a cookbook! The bill,...
NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - A stunned United Nations listened silently as US President Barack Obama told a Peace Convention Saturday that the US Defense Intelligence Agency had intercepted over thirty coded cables from British Prime Minister Gordon Brown...
In a surprise announcement, senior Vatican officials today leaked the content of Pope Benedict's up-coming encyclical Bacterium en Vitam Eternam Primum Est. Life, the officials informed a rapt audience, is sacred. Bacteria, viruses, fungi....all life...
Washington, DC/ Washington Post/Pets/Leisure Section - Bo, the charasmatic Portugese Water Dog has screwed up: BIG TIME! The photogenic dog, bred for water retrieval purposes has been cast out from the White House after repeated toe grabbing retr...
Washington D.C. - The Ape Pee News Service is reporting, and the White House has now confirmed that the disheveled African-American man police picked up last week for trespassing, who was almost tasered for resisting arrest and cited for obstructing...
The European 100 Watt lightbulb, whose existence ended this week, was 'killed by terrorists', according to American President Barack Obama. Speaking from Washington DC, he said: 'People of America, our thoughts are with our friends in Britain and...
Soft Springs, Iowa/ Financial News - In a shocking move President Barack Obama ordered Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner and the Federal Deposit Insurance Company (FDIC) to move in and take control of the nation's faltering mattress manufacturing indus...
Washington,DC/ Double Speak Anarchist News - In a full out effort to bring American Thinking more in line with his universal policy of appeasement, apology and apoplexy, the Obama Team, led by Chicago Social Terrorists the Emanuel Brothers,aided by...
Randy John Johnson, President of John & Johnson has been named by President Obama as the "Gettin' It On Czar." In accepting the nomination, Johnson says that President Obama thought that our K-Y Jelly was a great boon to "Getting It On" and I wil...
Pork Chop Hill Nusing Home/ Arlington, Va/ Veterans News - In a response to a condescending questionaire by the Obama Health Care Death Squads, a hastily formed platoon of aging Korean War Vets prepared their own 'Quality of Life" guide sheet for a h...
The venerable question that has bewildered scholars and thinkers of the Bolshevistic persuasion since Peter the Great is: how many czars does a czar need, and does a czar need a czar to watch over his czars? The urgency for an answer to the preceding query manifested itself in the most incongruous manner. During a meeting in the Oval Office, while deliberating the necessity of appointing a s...
Washington, DC - At a press conference held in the White House West Wing, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has announced President Obama is going to address the concerns of birthers, and those sitting on the fence. "As I speak, President Obama is sign...
Washington DC (Neuters) - With support sinking fast for systemic healthcare change, specifically the Dems favored public option via single payer, during a recent appearance at the Press Club Mr. Obama desperately strove to turn the tide. Inovkin...
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) - The head of the Environmental Protection Agency told a shocked Washington Press Corps Tuesday that right-wing broadcasters Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and Ann Coulter have been determined to be the chief cause of Global Warmin...
The true purpose behind the government's "Cash for Clunkers" program has finally been revealed in the latest press release from the Obama Administration. In the program, auto companies paid up to $4500 trade-in for clunkers that had no real value (t...
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