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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: David James Banning Order Fiasco

David James Banning Order Fiasco

Portsmouth Football Club are back in trouble again as a local sandwich bar next to Fratton Park bans David James. Lucy Pike, owner of 'Get Stuck in Sandwiches' said, "David and the other players have been regulars, but lately they have been taking...

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Funny story: John Terry News Update: He Did It For The Irish

John Terry News Update: He Did It For The Irish

John Terry, the Chelsea and former England football team captain, has told friends he is almost as sorry for shagging Wayne Bridge's ex-girlfriend, as Frenchman Thierry Henry said he was for handling the ball in the build-up to France's goal in the W...

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Funny story: Premier Face Sitting League round-up.

Premier Face Sitting League round-up.

Hammers slip into plop zone, Poopers cruise, Black Craps held - Manchester United returned to the top of the Premier Face Sitting League table in style as Pumpsmouth's problems went from bad to worse, while Manchester Shitty slipped up at Hull Shitty...

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Funny story: Saints v Pompey - Visitors To Receive Warm Welcome

Saints v Pompey - Visitors To Receive Warm Welcome

It's been announced that Saints fans are preparing a typically warm Southampton style welcome for the FA Cup visit of deadly local rivals, Portsmouth. As both clubs have had to deal with harsh reality checks on survival in the football world, an i...

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Funny story: Everton down Liverpool to go top of Dirty Bastards League

Everton down Liverpool to go top of Dirty Bastards League

Traditional fans breathed a collective sigh of relief today as the Professional Foul made a welcome return to our top flight football. In a test case match, under instructions from the League, their Clubs and Managers, the players in today's Merse...

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Funny story: Team Brazil Says That They Want No Part Of Alleged Womanizer John Terry

Team Brazil Says That They Want No Part Of Alleged Womanizer John Terry

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - The Brazilian national soccer team has just announced that they are no longer negotiating to trade for Chelsea and England star John Terry. A spokesman for Team Brazil Gustavo De La Mantequilla said that the last thing th...

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Funny story: No WAGs, shags or slags in Rio Ferdinand homemade orgy vid says Capello

No WAGs, shags or slags in Rio Ferdinand homemade orgy vid says Capello

London - (X-Rated): The ten minute footage passed muster after Capello spent 'several hours' screwtinising Ferdinand's infamous 2005 Cyprus holiday home movie. The England coach hunkered down to the onerous task last week amid FA fears the video...

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Funny story: Lying, sex tape star and convicted drink driver named new England football captain

Lying, sex tape star and convicted drink driver named new England football captain

Fabio Capello today proudly announced the name of the next English football captain today after relieving John Terry of the responsibility. It's none other than the star of classic TV show 'Rio Plays For Laughs' - Rio Ferdinand. The youth of En...

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Funny story: Arshavin DNA tests revealed on TV

Arshavin DNA tests revealed on TV

A recent mid morning TV show has revealed that Arsenal's Andrey Arshavin is indeed related to UK actor Michael York and not, as previously thought, Alexandr the meerkat. DNA experts have said that this outcome was simples. Meanwhile, Michael Yo...

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Funny story: Vanessa Perroncel - Expect More Revelations Soon - Terry Sacked as England Skipper

Vanessa Perroncel - Expect More Revelations Soon - Terry Sacked as England Skipper

Reports are flooding into my office tonight stating that John Terry has been sensationally sacked as England football captain by no nonsense head coach Fabio Capello. At this point I am still waiting for confirmation, as is the case with reports that...

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Funny story: John Terry Stripped Of His Captain's Armband: "I Was Tired of Being The Captain Anyway"

John Terry Stripped Of His Captain's Armband: "I Was Tired of Being The Captain Anyway"

After days of rampant speculation, it is now official, John Terry, is no longer the captain of Coach Fabio Capello's England team. Capello speaking in front of hundreds of reporters from all over the world, including Alaska, Borneo, and Phoenix, s...

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Funny story: England dump Terry; Unknown Gay Player Offered to Replace Him!

England dump Terry; Unknown Gay Player Offered to Replace Him!

England manager Fabio Capello has dumped John Terry because of his recent antics and now is searching for a suitable replacement. "Gay as you Play" football magazine has offered Fabio some advice and offered one of their star players to captain E...

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Funny story: Vanessa Perroncel Says John Terry's Cock Smaller Than We Would Imagine

Vanessa Perroncel Says John Terry's Cock Smaller Than We Would Imagine

Vanessa Perroncel, the model at the centre of the John Terry Scandal, has spoken out today in a French newspaper interview, claiming that Mr Terry's penis is not as big as people would think, and "nothing to write home about". Perroncel is the for...

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Funny story: Scans on "Brain Dead" WAGs Show "Modest Signs of Life" According to Clinic!

Scans on "Brain Dead" WAGs Show "Modest Signs of Life" According to Clinic!

A clinic in Cambridge, England has claimed that signs of life and cognitive recognition does exist in people who have been declared 'Brain Dead' for years, even though they functioned in Society. A recent published study has gained acceptance afte...

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Funny story: John Terry May Have Bedded Entire Chelsea Team WAGS!

John Terry May Have Bedded Entire Chelsea Team WAGS!

John Terry, the Chelsea and England defender 'under investigation' by the tabloid 'newspapers' for allegedly shagging his former teammate's bird, may have bedded the entire Chelsea team's wives and girlfriends (WAGS), it has been alleged, by me. T...

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Funny story: The U.K.'s New Reality Show - Dancing And Dallying With The Premier League

The U.K.'s New Reality Show - Dancing And Dallying With The Premier League

LONDON - Executives have just announced that they will be presenting a new reality show based on the goings on of the members and 'friends' of the Premier League. A spokesperson said they had a strong desire to capitalize on the current salacious...

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Funny story: Pro soccer players to receive intelligent OMEGA 3 tablets, hopefully they can help!

Pro soccer players to receive intelligent OMEGA 3 tablets, hopefully they can help!

Now we all know our super-star footy players have not been blessed with mega-intelligence, mega-bucks, yeah! After all of the scandals surrounding or super-heroes, sex-affairs, money washing, punch ups, handbags at three paces, and Carlos Tevez, e...

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