Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The "evil and inhuman things" slanging match war of words between the Pope and the Islamic world has equalised today with the half-time score standing at one all following the publication of official UK St...
Pyongyang - (AssoCIAted Messershmitts): In an unprecedented outburst blaming excessive Vatican drunkenness for piss-poor arms intelligence smuggling, North Korea's leader Kim Jong Very-Ill-Indeed has lambasted the JP2 Lodge's successor Josep...
Vatican City - (Associated Mess): In his weekly address to the dwindling masses of his Pontifical Fan Club, Pope Joseph Ratzinger has bemoaned the latest Middle East ceasefire as being un-biblical and called for an immediate resumption of hostilit...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Papal Pro-Nuncio in London Joaquin Navarro-Valls has fled his Vatican-appointed Dead Sea Scrolls office following UK press reports that linked his offshore bank accounts held at the Riggs Bank, Pyongyang branch, to tw...
Vatican City - (ASS-o-CIA-ted Mess): Thousands of under-cover NATO hit-squad operatives are rumoured to be milling incognito among the crowds of St Peter's Square today as the world's most senior spooks, cops and military intelligence chiefs...
Aspic, Colorado - (AssoCIAted Mess): Newly released figures show that last week's funeral of Enron martyr St Ken Lay of Houston cost the Vatican Bank more than $10 million, mainly in appearance fees put in by the former P2 satanic Lodge luminari...
VATICAN CITY, MAY 25 Pope Benedict XVI today issued a "monitum," described by a Vatican official as "an admonition, guidance for the faithful," detailing how Roman Catholics can watch the hit film The DaVinci Code while minim...
Vatican City, Thursday 4 May 2006 - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): After many decades of theological schizm, humbuggery and dire Pontifical warnings of hellfire and damnation, Pope Joseph Ratzinger has announced that the Vatican is to open its own...
Vatican City, Italy; Easter Sunday 16 April 2006 -(Associated Mess): An official statement today by the Chief Inquisitor at the Pontifical Prefecture of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has confirmed that His Infallibility Pope &...
The Vatican has attempted to pacify gay rights groups, it was claimed today, by bravely reiterating its stand against sexually active heterosexuals joining the priesthood, in a draft doctrinal paper approved by the Pope, presented in Rome earlier tod...
Vatican City - Yesterday in St. Peters Square, millions were shocked to both hear and see that Pope Benedict XVI is Santa Claus. Wearing a white fur-trimmed red bonnet and a red cape with white underneath, Santa waved to his fans after making...
The Vatican has drafted new guidelines to reaffirm policy on paedophelia and keeping child molesters and "supporters of paedophile culture" out of the priesthood.
(D.U.H.) In a move to be officially announced within six weeks, the Vatican will bar homosexual men from entering the Catholic priesthood. This is part of the new Pope's movement to purify the Catholic church from within. Benedict is following...
Vatican City, Thursday 10 March (Rioters) - Startling new evidence from the Pontifical College of Creation Sciences has been published in Rome today which claims a direct causative link between the much derided Measles, Mumps and Myrobella - 'M...
VATICAN CITY, ROME - The entire garment and fashion district of Vatican City is currently in an uproar due to the recent untimely passing of the official papal milliner, blind Brother Bonito Bonnetto. The unfortunate Brother Bonnetto prematurely...
(ASP-Allied Spoof Press)- Today reports are spreading like wildfire as the announcement made by Vatican Mathematicians that their initial calculations were made in error back in 1150 A.D. These numbers indicated originally that St. Malachy's pred...
The world's one billion Roman Catholics this week congregated on the streets of the Vatican City to celebrate the appointment of former Battlestar Galactica actor Dirk Benedict as their new spiritual leader.
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