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Funny story: St Ken Lay's funeral cost Vatican Bank $10 million

St Ken Lay's funeral cost Vatican Bank $10 million

Aspic, Colorado - (AssoCIAted Mess): Newly released figures show that last week's funeral of Enron martyr St Ken Lay of Houston cost the Vatican Bank more than $10 million, mainly in appearance fees put in by the former P2 satanic Lodge luminari...

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Funny story: Vatican instructs Catholics on how to view DaVinci Code

Vatican instructs Catholics on how to view DaVinci Code

VATICAN CITY, MAY 25 Pope Benedict XVI today issued a "monitum," described by a Vatican official as "an admonition, guidance for the faithful," detailing how Roman Catholics can watch the hit film The DaVinci Code while minim...

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Funny story: Joy as Pope opens condom factory

Joy as Pope opens condom factory

Vatican City, Thursday 4 May 2006 - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): After many decades of theological schizm, humbuggery and dire Pontifical warnings of hellfire and damnation, Pope Joseph Ratzinger has announced that the Vatican is to open its own...

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Funny story: Pope's Easter message: "It's a miracle we got away with it"

Pope's Easter message: "It's a miracle we got away with it"

Vatican City, Italy; Easter Sunday 16 April 2006 -(Associated Mess): An official statement today by the Chief Inquisitor at the Pontifical Prefecture of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has confirmed that His Infallibility Pope &...

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Funny story: Vatican Demands Celibacy in New Priest Doctrine

Vatican Demands Celibacy in New Priest Doctrine

The Vatican has attempted to pacify gay rights groups, it was claimed today, by bravely reiterating its stand against sexually active heterosexuals joining the priesthood, in a draft doctrinal paper approved by the Pope, presented in Rome earlier tod...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI announces he is Santa Claus.

Pope Benedict XVI announces he is Santa Claus.

Vatican City - Yesterday in St. Peters Square, millions were shocked to both hear and see that Pope Benedict XVI is Santa Claus. Wearing a white fur-trimmed red bonnet and a red cape with white underneath, Santa waved to his fans after making...

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Funny story: Vatican Stay Firm On Paedophile Ordination

Vatican Stay Firm On Paedophile Ordination

The Vatican has drafted new guidelines to reaffirm policy on paedophelia and keeping child molesters and "supporters of paedophile culture" out of the priesthood.

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Funny story: Vatican to Bar Homosexual Priests

Vatican to Bar Homosexual Priests

(D.U.H.) In a move to be officially announced within six weeks, the Vatican will bar homosexual men from entering the Catholic priesthood. This is part of the new Pope's movement to purify the Catholic church from within. Benedict is following...

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Funny story: Opus Dei: "MMR vaccine causes homosexuality"

Opus Dei: "MMR vaccine causes homosexuality"

Vatican City, Thursday 10 March (Rioters) - Startling new evidence from the Pontifical College of Creation Sciences has been published in Rome today which claims a direct causative link between the much derided Measles, Mumps and Myrobella - 'M...

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Funny story: Pope's Hat - Funny No More

Pope's Hat - Funny No More

VATICAN CITY, ROME - The entire garment and fashion district of Vatican City is currently in an uproar due to the recent untimely passing of the official papal milliner, blind Brother Bonito Bonnetto. The unfortunate Brother Bonnetto prematurely...

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Funny story: The Last Pope

The Last Pope

(ASP-Allied Spoof Press)- Today reports are spreading like wildfire as the announcement made by Vatican Mathematicians that their initial calculations were made in error back in 1150 A.D. These numbers indicated originally that St. Malachy's pred...

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Funny story: Holy White Smoke! Benedict Is The New Pope

Holy White Smoke! Benedict Is The New Pope

The world's one billion Roman Catholics this week congregated on the streets of the Vatican City to celebrate the appointment of former Battlestar Galactica actor Dirk Benedict as their new spiritual leader.

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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI issues first edict-the Vatican must move

Pope Benedict XVI issues first edict-the Vatican must move

Vatican City-Pope Benedict XVI made his first public appearance today, acknowledging the throngs of faithful from the balcony of the papal apartment. Amidst all the mutually heartfelt joy, though, came a bombshell-the Vatican is moving.

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Funny story: Vatican begins planning funeral of Pope Benedict XVI

Vatican begins planning funeral of Pope Benedict XVI

Vatican City - The chant rippled across the crowds gathered in St. Peter's Square: "Viva il papa" ("Long live the Pope"). Vatican officials, however, are not expecting the 78 year old Joseph Ratzinger, now Benedict XVI, to have an especially long P...

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Funny story: Firefighters Called to Vatican

Firefighters Called to Vatican

Firefighters raced towards the Vatican tonight. Black smoke was seen bellowing from the rooftop by a Japanese tourist and he promptly called the emergency services. On arrival, the Papal firefighters initially thought that the smoke was to signal tha...

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Funny story: Papal Conclave elects new Pope, debuts Papal Paypal initiative

Papal Conclave elects new Pope, debuts Papal Paypal initiative

VATICAN CITY, ROME - As the highly anticipated white smoke emerged today from the Sistine Chapel stovepipe chimney announcing the election of the new Pope, a collective cheer was heard from Catholics around the world.

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Funny story: Hard Line Vatican Cardinals Start Nuclear Holy War against Others, N.Korea is Hit by First Strike

Hard Line Vatican Cardinals Start Nuclear Holy War against Others, N.Korea is Hit by First Strike

In an unprecedented first strike against other worldwide religions, the Vatican has started the launch of 115 Cardinals against the enemy faiths and doctrines. Obviously, the lack of leadership at the Vatican has caused a catastrophic breakdown in di...

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