A secret dossier has been leaked onto WikiLeaks about the Pope's real plans for his visit to the UK. As part of his visit he will visit Queen Elizabeth, who is head of the Church of England, a sect of Christianity that broke away during Henry VIII's...
The pope can do no wrong! That is basically what 'papal infallibility' means in the Roman Catholic religion. The Pope is preserved from the possibility of error by his connection with God. This hasn't been a problem up until recently, as priests...
Scotland - (Prenup Mess): With a grim-faced Duke of Edinburgh looking daggers there is clearly zero chance of any Wayne Rooney-style threesome shenanigans this weekend. "Besides," papal wet nurse Msgr Gangswine explained, "the Pope is pooped. Mile...
Craggy Island parish, west coast of Ireland: Very little happens in Craggy Island Parish to be reported, but in this news article news followers need to know what impact the Popes visit is having on some of the far flung outposts of Britain's former colonies and Empire. Father Ted has been reading the latest news in the local Parish News to Father Dougal about the Pope's visit to Britain. Fa...
The head of the Roman Catholic Church's visit to England has been mired by disappointment and upset for many but the latest blow was struck by officialdom and red tape. In the United Kingdom, anyone wishing to work with children in an official cap...
ROME: On the eve of the Popatus' visit to Britain, senior papal advisers seem to be suffering from an acute case of "foot-in-the-mouth" disease. It's bad enough that Brit taxpayers are on the hook for 12 million pounds, so surely a little bit of sen...
London, UK: Police swooped today to nab the man believed to be head of the world's largest paedophile ring. The elderly German, an Italian resident who arrived in the UK today travelling under the name Benedict, has been identified by police as th...
London - (Goodbye England's Woes Mess): The mass ablution of congenital sins will take place in the open air at London's Hype Park this Saturday. Weeks of preparation have seen thousands of gallons of disinfectant dumped into the Memorial Fountain...
London - (Holy Shit! Mess): The authorities said today they'd be taking no chances as the papal freakshow advance party rolled into town. Thousand of specialist child protection officials will be mingling with the crowds on Saturday amid reports...
Benny the magic pope is popping in for a cuppa, lovely. Best get the kettle on and bake a cake. Prince Philip will be meeting Mr The Pope when his plane touches down on Thursday and then it's off to bonny scotch land, yay, road trip! Phil and B...
Pope Benedict's state visit to Britain has ended almost as soon as it began. Hours after landing at London's Heathrow Airport, the Pontiff was addressing a crowd of Roman Catholics in Trafalgar Square when spontaneous angry protests by gays, victims...
Edinburgh - (Premature Evacuation News): A hapless Parisian onion seller had to be surgically extracted from the singer's larynx this afternoon. Firemen fought for half an hour before bringing in an oxy-acetylene torch to remove the intrusive dork...
As Head of the Church of England, or Top Gal as the Archbishop of Canterbury cheerfully refers to her, the Queen is worried about a load of Papal bull about to descend on her territory. 'He comes here endangering our young boys , and even girls. T...
Rome - (Holy Spirit News): Some Zaprudderesque footage, circa 1968, of Ratzinger, Bush and a crateload of communion wine has surfaced in London. Up-and-coming drunk George W and his highball pall are seen demolishing the Mavrodaphne consigment in...
A huge security operation has been initiated following rumours that Pope Bendy Dick intends to visit several children's homes on his UK visit. Hundreds of CCTV cameras have been installed at each establishment and extra police deployed. The Vatic...
Christian's and bandwagon riders have expressed their distress and disbelief after The Vatican revealed that The Pope had indeed signed a sponsorship deal with NIKE. Rumours have circulated for weeks now that a deal was to be struck after His Hol...
When Bristol Palin announced that her Dancing with the Stars outfits would be modest, it seemed inevitable: they should be made by nuns. And why not go right to the top? The Spoof can now confirm that it is the nuns at the Vatican -- the ones...
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