Strange, but true! I was at work today and had left the tailgate of my car up.When I came back about an hour later, and approached the back of the car this bloody cat launched itself onto the top of the dashboard and, back arched, started leaping and screeching, trying to get out through the windscreen. Why are animals so dumb? It leapt and screeched, and it screeched and leapt. Then it...
It may be the end of the line for one of Australia's most famous products tonight, after a supermarket decided to remove Vegemite from its shelves when a man complained that it tasted a bit like faeces. The man, from England, had licked some Vegem...
In a rare pact of solidarity, nude beaches in California, Florida, Brazil, Mexico, France, and Italy have joined together to outlaw dingleberrys. They have also called on all other nude beaches to join in the ban. Dawson Hunter, lifeguard at Brow...
Pottytown, PA - Michael Jackson fans are surprised by the recent release by Michael Jackson - 'This ish it'. According to my source, Dr. Undie Taker of Peter Pan Memorial Garden, posthumous defecation is actually quite common. In fact, "Many prison...
Researchers at the University Of Chicago (South Side) have recently unveiled the results of years of research into the 'unique' British sense of humour. Professor Egon Offagin announced the results to a packed house of TV and Movie scriptwriters a...
Tokyo, Japan/ International Travel and Carbon Foot Print News - A Japanese international airline is the first to get on board with Al Gore's Cap and Tax mandate to cut down global emissions by demanding all passengers void both their bladders and bo...
A fart can be more trouble than it's worth sometimes, especially when it's a particularly wet fart, and so it was when unemployed car worker, Tabib Dipthong of Dudley, dropped his guts after a tasty curry last Thursday. Poor Tabib, 34, had taken h...
Roscoe Hereford, a local man most famous for his continual anger and temper tantrums, has built a new house using all natural materials. The "green" house was composed of compost...that is, natural bricks. Home builder and owner Hereford said "my...
Struggling to identify new product offerings in the toilet tissue marketplace, Sharminn Company announced today that it will be releasing a new line of personal cleansing products for consumers of significantly wider girth. A common problem for mo...
Police confirmed that they had issued a formal caution to Paul's Mum for allowing her son's friends to do a poo at her house. "The fact that she allows child bowel movements to take place in her home requires her to be a properly qualified and re...
BIHAREM India - A new mode of getting high has achieved widespread farmer acceptance here, according to the chief medicine man, Totokimsmokumshiiti: smoking bull dung. In India's remote north-east, the people of the state of Biharem have devised a...
Vatican officials have confirmed a man in East Lansing, Michigan crapped out his soul while straining too hard on a commode yesterday. Two priests and a plumber were brought in by the local diocese to help the man, but the whereabouts of the soul...
Blackwater Mountain, Tennessee - When it come to having explosive diarrhea, John J. Johnson, JJ to his friends, and daughter Jean J. Johnson are quite a team. John set a new distance record and Jean won first place at the Corn Hole & Washer Pitch...
Guests at the Royal Garden Party at Buckingham Palace were reportedly a tad miffed after many of them found themselves scraping corgi shit off their expensive designer footwear as they rambled the Buck House back garden sipping champers and unwitting...
Sussex - (Mariane Faithfull Mars Bar Mess): Not really. But police have reopened the file on Rolling Stones wildman Brian Jones' 1969 drowning after an underworld tipoff. The guitarist was originally found bobbing up and down in a pool at Crotchf...
In scenes not dissimilar to a few years ago, when wicked prostitute choker Steve Wright was loose, the quiet Suffolk Town of Ipswich is under siege again today. At about 2am on Sunday Morning a fiend of staggering evil struck again. Exactly 2...
A study conducted by Harvard University Department of Political Science determined that the average American is feeling Urinary disengagement about the proposed Obama Health Care Plan. One man, Dr. Reed Snoot of Cal Tech, said "I must admit that I...
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