The spy with the world's largest penis, Bargis Tryhol, working out of MI6 on the South Bank of the Thames, near Waterloo Station has elected to stop serving the ladies with a portion in order to concentrate on poetry. Tryhol, somewhat dapper in a...
Administrators from satirical website TheSpoof.com today informed their lunatic contributors that satirical articles involving extreme bad language, with words such as 'fu*ck' and 'cu*nt' and 'her*ring' would not be tolerated much longer as such prac...
GRAND RAPIDS, MI - Taylor Lautner, 17, experienced a bit of culture shock today when he flew to Grand Rapids, Michigan to participate in the Goodland Dairy-sponsored First Annual North American Indian Leg Wrestling Tournament. Lautner, who claims...
ABC news correspondent Bob Woodruff, who was seriously injured during an attack in Iraq some time ago and has greatly recovered is continuing to be used to draw viewers to ABC News. Yesterday, Bob was finally able to meet the nurse who shook his p...
TV duo Ant and Dec have been unmasked as two penis-sharing goblins. The funny little men who present all kinds of random shite on ITV, were caught out whilst filming a 'hilarious' sketch to be broadcast on one of their upcoming shitty telly shows.
KwaZula-Natal, South Africa - Thousand of anonymous tips are piling up and causing a health problem at Orange Farm, South Africa, as hordes of African males arrive hourly to subject themselves to circumcision. Responding to nationwide ads feat...
The World Penis Festival ended toady with the winner of the prized 'Golden Shaft' being won by an ugly, fucking bastard. Markus Lowtonicus, from number 21 Sycamore Grove, Lancashire is regarded as a pig-ugly, minger of a man but that didn't stop h...
A local 45-year old man was receiving treatment in hospital following an accident in which he glued his right hand to his penis. Donald Davies said that he was unscrewing the cap on the glue and all of a sudden his pants just miraculously fell dow...
Pensioner Pam Dingle has spoken of her chopper hell. The keen gardener no longer tends to her garden. This is because of the antics of her neighbour Peter Schweitzer. "He's out there all the time with his chopper out. It's disgusting. I haven't seen...
Dick Phillpot, the only man in the UK with two knobs wants the bigamy laws changed to enable him to marry a second time. "I'm too much for one woman. Doris tries her best but she gets knackered just as number 2 is waking up. If I could take a second...
An advertisement on satirical website TheSpoof.com promising that people could grow in length by 2 to 3 inches in as many weeks has been exposed as fraudulent. Government spokesman Ronan Keating RN (Retd) told me: "It's that bloody website agai...
Penis Minus(not his real name) has agreed to star in a new stage production, The Pecker Of Dorian Gray. "I've gotten my courage up after marrying my sweetie pie", Penis Minus who will play Dorian Gray, only in this version, a portrait of Penis Min...
Penis Minus (Not his real name) has been to the Congo in Africa and married a very cute and petite Pygmy lady named Halletta and they got married while he was there. Penis Minus seemed pretty proud of the fact and appeared to this reporter to be d...
A scientific study has shown that young men who drive cars with very noisy engines are more likely to have tiny penises. There is a direct correlation between the decibel levels of male drivers cars and the girth and length of their penis. Apparen...
After the brief meeting with M, Bargis was anxious to get regrouped, update his wardrobe, check back into his flat and have some serious sexual therapy in order to relax before his next mission....BACK TO THE USA and his arch enemy D.E.F.E.C.A.T.E., or (CRAP) as it was listed in SECRET files.(ed. note: and easier to type) Even now, as he pressed the left NIPPLE of the marble statue of Margare...
Washington, D.C. - What is believed to be the penis of early midwestern bank robber, John Dillinger, famously killed outside of a movie theater on orders of J. Edgar Hoover, has been discovered in a box at the Smithsonian Institution. The box was...
Michael Jackson's autopsy photos show that the pale-skinned star really was a black man after all. Pathologists measured his member at almost 18 inches long - showcasing that no amount of fucking around with his skin could take away his black roo...
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