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Funny satire stories about Olympics

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Funny story: 2012 Olympic Logo 'Still Shit' says Poll

2012 Olympic Logo 'Still Shit' says Poll

It was first unveiled to great controversy four years ago. It has been accused of spelling out the word 'Zion', described as a 'distorted Swastika' and 'Lisa Simpson performing fellatio'. Now, with just over a year until the opening ceremony, 99.99%...

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Funny story: Millions miss out on London 2012 tickets and escape bankruptcy

Millions miss out on London 2012 tickets and escape bankruptcy

The news that nearly 2 million people have failed to win any Olympic tickets for London 2012 has been met with great relief up and down the country. Hundreds of thousands of people have expressed their delight in not having to sell their organs to wa...

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Funny story: Lithuanian white water rafter to cross Atlantic on prize-winning sex doll!

Lithuanian white water rafter to cross Atlantic on prize-winning sex doll!

Vilnius - "So long as sharks don't bite off the nipples from my prizewinning doll Vaida I'm confident of breaking the world record!" Liudas Pestininkas told reporters this weekend. The champion of the National Men's Day water race - where contende...

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Funny story: David Beckham to play major part in 2012 Olympics

David Beckham to play major part in 2012 Olympics

As rumoured in the press, former England football player and special ambassador for the moronically tattooed has admitted that he will be playing a special part in the 2012 Olympics. Current speculation suggests that Mr Beckham might perhaps be su...

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Funny story: New Rules For 2014 Winter Olympics

New Rules For 2014 Winter Olympics

The 2014 Winter Olympics, to be held in Sochatlysincsinofioenfr, Russia will see a number of new rules and regulations going into effect. The Olympic Committee has issued a statement saying that they have wisely given up fighting against t...

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Funny story: Great Britain pulls out of Olympics!

Great Britain pulls out of Olympics!

The sporting world was in a state of bemused shock last night after the shock announcement that Great Britain are refusing to participate in the 2012 London Olympics. Speaking for the team, a spokesperson said, "Some of the chaps on the committee...

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Funny story: One in 1000 Olympics Tickets to Allow Holder to Compete

One in 1000 Olympics Tickets to Allow Holder to Compete

With tickets now on sale for the London 2012 Olympics, organisers have revealed that one purchase in 1000 will be a 'golden ticket' allowing the ticket holder to compete in one of the main events. The 'golden ticket' incentive was only revealed th...

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Funny story: Olympics and Eastenders Link

Olympics and Eastenders Link

The Royal Mail has revealed that the Olympic Park has been given the same postcode as the BBC soap opera Eastenders. The Olympic Park, which many see as the main focal point of London 2012, will provide a massive green space full of riverside gard...

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Funny story: Gun laws to be relaxed for the 2012 Olympics?

Gun laws to be relaxed for the 2012 Olympics?

With the Olympic committee drawing up alternate plans for the gun based Olynmpic events in 2012 due to strict gun ownership laws in the UK, David Cameron has proposed an amendment to the gun ownership rules temporarily for the duration of the Games.

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Funny story: Seb Coe Has Olympic Marathon With Rebecca Adlington

Seb Coe Has Olympic Marathon With Rebecca Adlington

Olympians gathered in London to 'Kick Off' for the official opening of the new web-page which will accept payment for Olympic events by Visa card. The mighty and the good gathered together for the unveiling of the new Olympic Clock which will count...

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Funny story: Colonel Gaddafi to run London's Docklands Light Railway

Colonel Gaddafi to run London's Docklands Light Railway

In a surprise move announced today, Colonel Gadaffi said he was throwing in the towel - or at least that bright orange thing he sometimes wears on his head - and is accepting the job offered to him by Lord Coe to become manager of the Dockland's Ligh...

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Funny story: London 2012 Threatened By Boycotts

London 2012 Threatened By Boycotts

The International Olympic Committee is facing a major crisis with the news that Iran may boycott London 2012 because of "inherent racism in the organisation". Iranian Olympic President Mohammad Aliabadi has made an official complaint to the IOC as...

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Funny story: Olympic Velodrome Opens To Cyclists' Confusion

Olympic Velodrome Opens To Cyclists' Confusion

A group of Gloucester cyclists was being escorted back to the city today having lost their way trying to find the new Olympic Velodrome. The arena, especially constructed for the London Olympics next year, is the first venue to be completed for th...

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Funny story: Beware Olympic Tickets

Beware Olympic Tickets

Urgent warnings have been sent out by the Olympic Committee concerning websites offering sales of tickets for the Olympic Stadium. 'West Ham United matches for 2013 have not been arranged. No one knows what Division West Ham will be in at that tim...

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Funny story: Irish Olympic Team to practice and live outside London prior to 2012 games

Irish Olympic Team to practice and live outside London prior to 2012 games

With the Chinese Olympic team deciding to use Leeds, The USA team East London and the Jamaican track and field team using Birmingham prior to the 2012 Olympics, the Irish Olympic squad have announced details of where they plan to spend their practice...

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Funny story: Olympunk Games 2012

Olympunk Games 2012

As you may know, East London will be hosting the Olympic Games in 2012. What you may not know is that many aspects of the games have been specially 'altered' to embrace the culture of the area. A copy of the changes has been leaked from Government sources and is reproduced below. OPENING CEREMONY: The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of...

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Funny story: Jean-Charles de Menezes-style police patrols for 2012 Olympics tube

Jean-Charles de Menezes-style police patrols for 2012 Olympics tube

London - (Big Bang Theories): Elite gun units will patrol London's underground network in the run up to the Olympics London Mayor Boris Johnson said today. The new undercover squad will prowl the tube network amid increasing fears of terror attack...

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