A study published today by the Institute for Pointless Research appears to suggest that the IQ of females and their offspring are affected positively in direct proportion to increases in their body mass index, i.e the fatter they are the smarter they...
Birds with bouncing breasts, bounteous buttocks and thunderous thighs have bigger brains than bony bints, claims an academic at Bognor University.
Cloverdale, Michigan - Charlie Rome, an obese Michigan man, was seen transporting a large volume of food across a busy Cloverdale street last week. It was unclear why the corpulent Mr. Rome would require additional food, since his bloated body alread...
Awl Tyte was an embodiment of Nature's parsimony, i.e. storing extra glucose in tissues, causing obesity, rather than excreting it as waste material. It took him 40 years to save his meager income as a mint house worker to come up with a little fortune.
SALT LAKE CITY, UT -- It seemed like just another typical evening at the Chuck-A-Rama buffet on South State Street. Diners and employees alike had no idea about the magnitude of the carnage about to take place.
The health secretary dramatically accused fat people of putting the world at risk. She said that obesity is as dangerous as climate change and terrorism, and that everyone will be weighed to decide if they are obese or not; those who fail could be pu...
KENOSHA, WI -- In a move to help Americans become less dependent on Middle Eastern oil, the U.S. Government today released plans to harvest the fat of America's obese.
Some scientists in America have discovered that their country is very likely to turn into a black hole if its population does not lose weight, according to a study published in the journal "Science Stuff" today.
After allegations were made that David Cameron, wide faced leader of the UK Conservative Party, was behind the current economic crash, he has struck back claiming that the real reason was the weight of the American estate agents.
Your Town - Your Mom, a local mother of you, has been reported as being so overweight that when she turns around eyewitnesses report that the accompanying sound resembles "a truck backing up".
The new National Ice-cream card comes out today. This is the latest of a string of fresh ideas from National Ice-cream in order to reinstate the image of ice-cream. Holders of the card pay from five pounds a month and in return they can get any ice c...
The ministry of obesity has come under fire today from critics who say that it is a completely useless organisation.
New York, New York - The latest to jump on the treadmill of dieting books that Americans just cannot seem to get enough of these days, J.K. Rowling has surprised everyone with her recent announcement that she has sent her latest completed literary wo...
NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - Former 'nearly president but not quite' Al Gore launched a new objective yesterday in Manhattan. The 'Kill The Fat, Save The World' Campaign was launched after overpaid researchers found that fat people are...
In a radical move, London Underground have announced they will ban chubby commuters from boarding their trains.
(Washington) - With 60% of the American public being overweight the Federal Bureau of Weights and Standards today announced that federal policies and standards will be adapted to accommodate overweight and obese men, women and children in the U.S.
St. Croix River, Milwaukee - Admitting that gluttony was the only one of the seven deadly sins that he enjoyed committing, Mike Martinez, 39, attempted to set his life on the righteous path by confessing to his pastor that he had set out years earlie...
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