The home office has stated that expensive translation services will no longer be offered to those who do not speak English.
Scientists and Anhropologists the world over were last night stuned to hear of a previously unheard of Amazonian tribe who were fluent in Cockeny Rhyming Slang, the sublanguage prevalent in London's "east end".
Sam Allardyce, the former Bolton Wanderers manager, was yesterday unveiled as the new boss at Newcastle United, who have been perennial under-achievers. Big Sam, as he is known, goes to St James Park...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The World - Today, the entire world sent out Wanted posters for U.S. President George W. Bush. Among the crimes listed are: * Butchering the English Language * Defamation of Muslims * Piracy of the Constitution of the United States * Lying to the American People While in Office * Unprovoked Attacks on Foreign Countries * Causing Inte...
We've all heard phrases like 'This is a solution to leverage new opportunities in the target sector" haven't we. Is it a form of language that we need to learn if we are to 'get on', or is it just a load of bollocks!...
The Oxford English Dictionary, arbiter of correct usage in the English language, is to remove the phrase "Excuse me" declaring it to be officially obsolete.
Scientists at the University of Tooting have discovered the existence of a new letter after listening to the grunts of south London teenagers. Previously it was assumed that there were only twenty six letters used by English speakers, but a new lette...
The news that Rex, a seemingly normal dog from Madison, Wisconsin, was recently granted speech took a bizarre twist yesterday when a throng of angry neighbors gathered at the front gate of the Marsh family home. The 50 or 60 agitated adults and chil...
Innit, thoouugh? How many times have we seen that rebellious character of Lauren in her cynical Catherine Tate Show mocking and arguing with teachers using her 'amusing,' pinky, street girl, slang language? You can tell where the inspiration is from.
THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S DICTIONARY is, by anyone's measure, a lexicon that adds a myriad of new definitions to our language. Over the past six years, our inference of the world of word-meanings has undergone a metamorphosis due quite literally to George W. Bush and his confederates. Naturally, in such a wholesale re-working of the language, we cannot expect to present a comprehensive lis...
Well, having spent over two years living in Turkey and practically emptying our bank account buying books, tapes, computer programmes etc. etc. in an attempt to get to grips with the confounded language we had to admit defeat. The embarrassment factor finally did for us. Out on the street we were gung-ho, jabbering away to all and sundry, but when we got home and realised that we'd told the n...
That much overused term, and this is a much overused term, has today been branded as one of the most overused terms in the English language.
When Danielle Lloyd in her own defence against accusations of racialism claimed to be of "mixed race" heritage, being partly Welsh, the whole Welsh nation rose up in uproar denying any connection with the former beauty queen.
Salt Lake City, Ut - Officials here issued a statement that the words "Jihad" and "pigs" would no longer be allowed in the English language based on repeated complaints from a local father and his family.
Buckingham Palace, London - (Associated Mess): Linguistics experts monitoring pronunciation changes in the English language have focused on the annual Queen's Xmas Message broadcasts and concluded that the old Mountbatten dumpling is sounding com...
Seemingly at odds with the extreme religious right, to whom he owes so much, President Bush on Saturday once more aired statements that seemed to indicate his continued reluctance to take a firm stand for Engish as the "official" language o...
WASHINGTON - U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced today the appointment of twenty new translators to its language translation program, a key tool in its fight against terrorist acts against the United States. Stating that they needed to...
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