TARZANA - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez recently spoke with Fuchsia Garfunkel a reporter with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle. The very happy couple announced plans for a brand new amusement theme park that they have been talking about since la...
Toronto, Canada - A chance remark by Prince Charles to Canadian riff raff on his Jubilee Tour this afternoon has backfired horribly. On a VIP Toronto walkabout he told Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty that he hoped doe-eyed Disney Channel beauty S...
Surprise! It's a campaign switcheroo. In the upcoming November election, the Democratic ticket will be: Joseph Biden running for president and Barack Obama running for vice-president, not the reverse. The two men agreed to the switch after B...
Parents of teenage fans of teen idol Justin Bieber are furious after a newspaper in Ohio likened the heartthrob's followers to female genitalia. After a recent concert in Cleveland, John Thomas, a part time and unpaid reporter for the Ohio Globe...
London - Constitutional experts said today 'seedy' Palace apparatchiks waived aside 'bloody obvious' objections to the Middleton marriage with its ball-and-chain appendage of a bastard brat. The added complication of bigamy, due to Kate being lega...
Los Angeles - "She wears some of his milk teeth in a locket around her neck," a celebwatch site editor claimed today, "and has kept the C-section placenta in a Canadian hospital vault." This weekend a lengthy cover-up lies in tatters as LA FagHagS...
David Lindersnout, of Cedar Falls, Idaho, woke up yesterday from a 30 year coma. Lindersnout had some friends and family in the area. Doctors were more baffled by the man's attitude after only a few hours of being awake. Lindersnout was visited b...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The word out of LaLaLand is that reality show mogul Simon Cowell is absolutely devastated that Ryan Seacrest will not be signing on to be the new X-Factor host like he had hoped. Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest has just been given an ama...
London - Late last night Royal Protection Racket cops managed to smuggle Justin Bieber from his suite at the Royal Garden Hotel to Nottingham Cottage in nearby Kensington Palace. The secret meeting went ahead despite rumors of a tip-off that QM-Ne...
HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell has already signed Britney Spears to fill one of the two X-Factor judges positions vacated when the "Viceroy of Venom" fired Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger back in January. Reports are several noted celebrities have tu...
Oh my gosh I am sooooo bored right now, and tired, isn't everybody tired. Click like if you have ever been tired, yeah that's how I roll. But you know I think I got to be so tired because I was so bored and then you know my mom's gone out with her new boyfriend Lorenzo and their all too not tired unlike me, who is tired! Anyway forget that because I have work in like 3 hours but that's ok because...
The teenage boy who crashed the wedding of Chloe Moretz has been found not guilty of all charges against him. In summing up the judge, Ernest Borgnine, stated: 'This is the best damn show I have seen in ages, and I wish I had been there.' The b...
A local boy has been arrested after crashing a wedding in Queensland's south-east today. The wedding of Chloe Moretz to Justin Bieber was going smoothly say police, until the vows were affirmed, at which point the gates of the St Mark's Lutheran c...
NASHVILLE - Country music sensation Taylor Swift is still quite upset, angry, and hurt that she was maliciously punk'd by Justin Bieber. Swift was led to believe and actually felt that she'd had a part in causing a wedding yacht to catch fire and...
LOS ANGELES - It has just been announced to the Hollywood entertainment media that Sky Castle Pictures in association with Lions Face Films will soon begin production on the Durango Grundyweather musical The Etch A Sketch Chronicles. Mr. Grundywea...
LONDON, ONTARIO (ABSNN) - Young Justin Bieber, a heart throb to tweens is a fairly girlish-boy. He is a pale imitation of a wimp; a slow breeze would knock him off his feet. A 98-year-old rag picker would beat his ass in a fight. And Bieber himsel...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Justin Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez met with President Barack Obama in regards to the lip syncing situation that has reached epidemic proportions in the music industry. Justin informed the president that he and Selena are...
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