Shops throughout Europe have been banned from selling straight or nearly straight bananas the bananas according to the EU ruling have got to be totally bent or they are to be discarded. Its incredible that they are going to stop shops selling perf...
PM Silvio Berlusconi, with more seductions than Tiger Woods and John Terry to his credit, attempted to lure the Israelis into joining the EU during a meeting with PM Benjamin Netanyahu, who couldn't help laughing! Accompanied by eight (8) Nubile '...
New President of Europe, Herman Van Rompuy, better known as Mr. Rumpy Pumpy, has long been known for his like of haiku, federalist super states and, of course, a bit of the old in-out. The bespectacled Belgian has often boasted of his prowess between...
The Union of Unemployed Workers (UUW) have made demands to the UK Government that their non-working conditions be improved, or else they shall go on strike. The specific improvements they have asked for are: - Free tea and coffee at the JobCent...
Most Western European countries are beginning to extract their heads out of their multi-culti butts and accept the fact that the horse that they let bolt is slightly out of control! Accepting the fact that multi-culti has failed miserably, many co...
Have you ever been in the pub and the man next to you, who you don't know, starts a conversation? You only went in to get away from the wife or to avoid doing that DIY job she's been pestering you about. A quiet uninterrupted pint is what's requi...
Brussels - (Hustings): Low-budget Belgian Prime Monster, Herman Van Ron Paul, first cousin once-removed to the famous Texan statesman, slid to a massive EU presidential victory this week. Van Ron Paul stormed into Pole position after a 50m zloty E...
Mount Palomar, CA (IPP)- The International Astronomical Union (IAU) has issued a recall for the Leonid meteor shower which originally had been scheduled for the nights of November 17th and 18th. Dr. Povenmire Finootch is the self appointed preside...
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has shocked European leaders by refusing the nomination of EU President. Blair who, behind-the-scenes has been lobbying hard for the role, is said to have made the U-turn after talks with aides. Blair was said t...
The European Commission is proposing new levels of total allowable fart (TAF) for each member state of the Union. The proposal is based on scientific advice from the Carbon Control Group CCG about the level of farting in the EU reaching dangerous lev...
Former German dictator and Nazi leader Adolf Hitler is to become the European Union's first president. Speaking at the annual Nuremberg rally to commemorate the 1923 beerhall putsch in Munich, Hitler said to 125,000 fanatical Nazis: 'Look, um, hi,...
A new exhibition opened yesterday at the European Commission in Brussels charting the progress of democracy on the continent since the year 1900. "Essentially it charts the way in which national and international institutions have become more acco...
In its wisdom, the European Union have written some legislation which is forcing witches to file a flight plan before September 30th - a whole month before their favourite night, so that they can know where each and every individual crone will be any...
Following the EU's recent successful extortion of large sums from Microsoft, for unfairly including its free Internet Explorer browser with its brand-leading OS, "Windows", a committee has been formed to find other complicated words to describe and i...
Dublin - (Blarneybollox): The EU treaty is a dead duck following Irish voters' revulsion of squalid whorsetrading that would have made Head of IRA Army Council Tony Blair president of the Union. This is the second time Ireland has been subjected t...
The EU have declared that the 100 watt incandescent light bulb is to be phased out. From now on families will have to sit at home in the dark because a bunch of pen pushers in Brussels have got nothing better to do than ban a lightbulb. Comedian H...
Very soon, Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom will be able to breathe a sigh of relief as the burden of monarchy is lifted from her ageing shoulders. For there is to be a new Head of State in the person of Anthony (Tony) Blair, when he becom...
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