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Funny satire stories about Banks

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Funny story: Royal Bank of Scotland apologises to customers

Royal Bank of Scotland apologises to customers

Sir Ron McKlipklop, the chairman of RBS has told his shareholders that he is 'profoundly sorry for the current state of affairs of the bank'. At the banks' annual Christmas luncheon, which is held weekly in a different 5-star hotel so as not to of...

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Funny story: Bank pays cleaner £12m bonus

Bank pays cleaner £12m bonus

London - a large international bank has paid one of its best cleaners a £12m bonus this year. The cleaner who wishes to remain anonymous has been given the huge city bonus following years of delivering exceptional performance. Following a recent r...

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Funny story: US stocks fall even as brokerage firms issue kill tags and consider death for use of the word "recession"

US stocks fall even as brokerage firms issue kill tags and consider death for use of the word "recession"

US stocks dropped across the board Monday after a US banking giant announced a massive Wall Street cull with a record 250,000 broker 'kill' permits issued amid concerns of a deepening you-know-what. The firm said that it hoped to eliminate about...

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Funny story: HBOS consider telethon appeal

HBOS consider telethon appeal

As shareholders consider whether to accept the Lloyds TSB offer, the HBOS board are said to be considering a "plan B" for raising capital if the offer is turned down - namely a "Children in Need" type of telethon appeal A spokesman explained - "...

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Funny story: Bob The Banker: "We can't fix this."

Bob The Banker: "We can't fix this."

Banking leader Bob The Banker has faced shareholders and stated that "we can't fix this." Wendy and Roley were by Bob's side as he addressed the angry group, despite being laid off earlier in the day. "The fact is it's not Bobs fault" Wendy told...

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Funny story: Offshore banks to ease credit crunch

Offshore banks to ease credit crunch

After a massive influx of cash into the UK Banking system, the banks have decided that the best way to ease the credit crunch is to set up offshore banks. The chairmen and directors of the 'Big Three' (HBOS, Lloyds-TSB) have bought large ocean go...

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Funny story: Bank: "Take the Sons of Bitches"... for Every Farthing!

Bank: "Take the Sons of Bitches"... for Every Farthing!

A leading bank, despite receiving a giant bailout, is telling its employees that a bonus bonanza is still in the offing! The unscrupulous "corpse-oration" (which literally means a prayer over a dead body) has joined many multinationals in continu...

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Funny story: Deposed top bankers face long wait to get back in the bedroom

Deposed top bankers face long wait to get back in the bedroom

Canary Wharf, London - (Ass Mess): Unemployed bankers have just 65 days left before the chance of a bit of Yuletide legover as thousands of disgruntled wives and partners freeze out their other halves from the bedroom in the current frigid economic c...

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Funny story: Tony Blair in line for $10 million banking bonus

Tony Blair in line for $10 million banking bonus

Off-the-Wall-St, NYC - (Fatcat Mess): Tony Blair, widely accredited as the secret genius behind the $5 trillion global nationalisation of banks, is in line for a whopping great big fatcat rake off according to reports in BigOilShagger! magazine. B...

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Funny story: New "get rich quick with minimal work" scheme hailed a complete success

New "get rich quick with minimal work" scheme hailed a complete success

A new "get rich without doing any work" scheme, previously favoured by pyramid sellers, multi-level marketers, email spammers and Bettaware, has been hailed as the latest 'British Success' by the CBI, who, to quote TV celebrity Vicky Pollard, "don't...

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Funny story: Gordon Brown seen as the Messiah

Gordon Brown seen as the Messiah

Gordon Brown leads the world by nationalising the UK banking system reports ratters. Son of a minister Gordon Brown is seen as the "Messiah" as the world economic nears meltdown. "I had no option," Gordon stated. "Money is the root of all evil...

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Funny story: Iceland to be melted down and sold as mineral water in attempt to liquidate assets

Iceland to be melted down and sold as mineral water in attempt to liquidate assets

Gordon Brown has announced another bold new strategy to handle the crisis caused by Iceland's banking crisis. "I am announcing today that Iceland will be melted down and bottled to be sold as overpriced mineral water in London's top restaurants."...

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Funny story: Trussed Up and Beg, Borrow and Steal Inc, Only US Financial Institution Left Standing!

Trussed Up and Beg, Borrow and Steal Inc, Only US Financial Institution Left Standing!

Trust: a word that had shared the title of banks throughout world history and certainly in the names of US banks for almost 300 years. Since this American disastrous economic collapse, banks across America have deleted the word trust from their title...

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Funny story: Iceland Source of Global Meltdown

Iceland Source of Global Meltdown

Reykjavík - Iceland is basking in the world spotlight today as it has been pinpointed as the source of the global economic meltdown. Farmwife Sonja Arnason, of Stokkseyr, just outside of Reykjavík was defrosting her kitchen freezer and somehow cro...

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Funny story: Thief feels sorry for building society and gets money back

Thief feels sorry for building society and gets money back

In what some may think was a strange turn of events, a thief who used to rob branches of the Bradford and Bingley Building Society prior to the credit crunch turned the act of robbery on its head today. Well known, disrespected, unemployed yet ref...

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Funny story: Bush hears the case for nuking Iceland

Bush hears the case for nuking Iceland

Washington AC/DC - (Motherf***ers Gone To Iceland! Mess): UK Finance Minister Alistair Darling is in White House talks this weekend, trying to persuade President Bush about the merits of nuking Asses of Evil rogue state Iceland. "Taxpayers around...

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Funny story: United States Will Take Over Piggy Banks

United States Will Take Over Piggy Banks

Denver, Colorado (IPP) - The United States Department of the Treasury will take over piggy banks as well as many of the nation's federally regulated banks. The plan was put into motion by George W. Bush and Secretary of the Treasury Dempsey Dumpst...

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