Listed are the top ten reasons whey Supermodels should sleep with Spoof Writers
* We could pay them with valuable Spoof points which can be redeemed for valuable prizes only through reclusive points billionaire Mark Lowton
* Because we're really desperate (and they should do a charitable favor for the less fortunate).
* Because they all say in the Playboy biographies that they like a man wi...
1. Inventing a highly poisonous green cleaning fluid for steel battleships, then turning it black and selling it to idiots as the world's 'favourite' soft drink
2. Misspelling English words like 'favourite', the same way inbred morons do in the land that invented the English language
3. Claiming to invent the aeroplane and motor car when Americans didn't
4. Cowardly avoiding fighting in W...
Normally too busy to pay attention to himself, what with all the lists to check twice, the elves to watch over, the reindeer to feed and Mrs. Claus to keep happy, nobody ever asks Santa what he wants for Christmas. That was until now.
With an appointment on the books scheduled eight months in advance with the fat man himself, our northern hemisphere reporter S. Noble Chanzinell, met with Mr.
PANAMA CITY, Florida - Tiger Woods mother Kuntakinta Woods was visiting a cousin in Panama City when she was asked to comment on her son's so called "Golf Gate" circus.
She stated that it was not a circus, a circus is a happy place with clowns, an...
8 - His job is pretty boring so life at home should be 'exciting'
7 - He dresses like a geek, and we all love geeks, right?
6 - He has very white teeth - how lovely
5 - He can still find reasons to fuck other women even when his wife is HOT BEYOND BELIEF!
4 - He shaves with Gilette, apparently, and obviously that is the 'best that man get get'.
3 - He's called Tig...
Top 15 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger Woods:
15. No mulligans when you miss the hole on your first try....you're shooting two, whether you like it or not....
14. No mechanical enhancements allowed....got to shoot with the club God gave you...
13. Always mark your balls when playing in foursome...avoid confusion around the hole...
12. I was just lining up my shot. How dare you accuse me...
Some women friends who follow an occasional Spoof from yours truly, including one Mrs. PM, suggested that I write a mia-culpa edition of the Top 10 list about things us down-trodden, often misunderstood males do to wreck the mood with our ladies. Consider this a parallel piece to the "Top 10 Things a Wife can do to Wreck a Boner".
In short, to all the lady Spoofers out there, My apologies on b...
Inspired by Skoob's recent top 10 list.
A tribute to mature males in long standing relationships across the globe. We've all been there. Semper Fi, brothers.
Top 10 Things a Wife Can Do to Wreck a Boner
10: Show up naked, but without a cold beer in hand.
9: Start calling my penis any demeaning pet name as a metaphor for size. "My little Minnow", "Purple Smurf", "Mini Me", or "Tin...
1 - When you're properly nutted, tell her about the girl that you were really in love with when you were 19. Tell her about how fate tore your burgeoning relationship asunder before it ever really got going. Tell her you'll always have a special place in your heart for that girl.
2 - Watch a really violent, semi-pornographic movie on the TV with the sound cranked right up. Tell her you're only...
The Top 23 Punk Rock Groups That Never Made It Big Time:
23. Pudding On The Pants
22. ESAD Speedwagon
21. Mr. Hyde's Hoedown
20. Fit As A Fondle
19. Casket Case
18. Pickle Disease
17. Rubber Up!
16. The Scissors Runners
15. Shit For Brains
14. Best Way To Kill
13. Gary & The Goober Grabbers
12. Time Of The Month Spotting
11. Groin Bald
10. The Fuzz Bu...
To properly fit in to a bureaucracy, a worker needs to ensure that he/she does no more than the bare minimum of work that is required. Such an approach will allow you to more easily follow the five paradigms of government, keep you from upsetting your co-workers, and provide proper evidence of your suitability for promotion in the future. In the event that some misguided employee questions your ap...
The Top 20 Most Borrowed Nudist Books From The World's Most Interesting Man, Fernando Monte Verde's Library
(Usually kept at the mansion of Fernando Monte Verde, but these are kept for guests aboard his yacht, The Conquest. They are all first editions and signed by the authors.)
20. The Bobbitt
19. Pride & Pecker, Just
18. Lord Of The Penis Rings
17. Wee Willie's Wanker
Appdict - Addicted to using iPhone apps in inappropriate situations.
Badge Doubt - The feeling that any badge or security ID shown to you is fake.
Fib Blab - Private nickname conservative talk-radio hosts give to their own programs.
Flu Reject - Person who does not qualify for any of the official categories of people who are advised to get an H1N1 flu vaccination.
Newslech - Male w...
Top Twelve New Bioengineering Project That Are Almost Ready!
12. Octopus that can change race car tires two at a time!
11. Popcorn kernels that can not only pop but poop out caramel covering.
10. Carrot that can do a really authentic sounding Elvis imitation.
9. Poker Playing Prairie Dogs that can also play the tuba, washboard and accordion!
8. A skunk that when flattened on the hig...
Submitted by an international pool of pub crawlers, the top 10 suggestions for things "Not To Do" when drinking were compiled by the beverage industry's flagship magazine called the "Gig and Vomit". Listed in reverse voting order from tenth place to first are the following suggestions compiled from both men and women.
10: Never wear white pants (or skirt): You may need to crawl across a dirty...
Wrong Songs To Play On Your Wedding Night, Top 12
11. Pieces Of April
10. Mr. Big Stuff
9. Love Hurts
8. Come Back When You Grow Up Girl (Ky. Only)
7. Love Comes Quickly
6. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
5. Over, Under, Sideways, Down
4. Break On Through To The Other Side
3. Psychotic Reaction
2. Mama To...
11> "What do you mean, talk to the hand?"
10> "Just pretend it's a 1979 Atari joystick and the game is "The Invasion Of The Giant Lips!"
9. "If I eat a lot of honey first, it'll be just like those creamy center long johns that you like so much."
8> "Sugar Tongue..uh, Plum, I was thinking: you know how you relish footlong hot dogs?"
7> "So, a new sofa it is!"
6> "No S...
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